Protecting Dominance

Call me "old school" or a "fuddy-duddy" or whatever else might seem appropriate as it applies to communication and dominance. I recognize that to some, when it comes to communicating with others, there are those who feel it is vital that they dominate or control the interaction. This way, they reason, they can both control what is being said as well heavily influence how the conversation will go. In other words, they can tip the scale toward getting what they want from others. These desired results can range from achieving agreement and being understood to triggering action by others and gaining acceptance. Any one of those possible outcomes is not necessarily a bad thing. What is "bad," however, is found more in the intent behind how one chooses to communicate. The act of dominating another for its own sake is, at the least, selfish and, at the most, manipulative and dishonest. At its best, the act of communicating is designed to foster mutual understanding and harmony. For hundreds of years now, men and women have added an array of layers to that act by identifying ways to communicate that goes beyond simply getting along. Communication, for many, is a way to sway or dictate the decisions and actions of others. At this point, we can no longer tell folks to stop communicating in a way that inflences others. That train, as they say, left the station years ago. But what we can strive for is encouraqing people to dominate through honest means. Do not lie. So long as honesty prevails, then dominance as it applies to communication is not wrong; nor does it need to be stopped. What we as a soceity need to keep doingi is enforcing regulations and sanctions that help ensure dishonest communication is kept to a minimum. At the same time, we must keep doing all we can to protect acts of dominance so long as they are carried out honestly.

The Challenge of Evolution

I wish to officialy add my name to the list of those who believe evolution is a good thing. I like, for instance, the fact that once we used to walk bent over but now walk upright. I like that once the only thing that could fly were birds but now mankind has multiple ways to take-wing and not die in the process. I like that once there were diseases that could kill us but now thanks to numerous medical advances we can deal with pretty easily. On a personal note, I like that once I ate food with my hands but now am able to use utensils so as to not make a mess and get all of the goodies in my mouth without spilling it all over my face or on the floor. Yes, evolution is a good thing, especially when it equates with progress. Of course, evolution does not come without a price. With it comes a need for us to adjust and change our behavior so as to ensure the evolutionary step takes-hold. One example is toothpaste. The invention of toothpaste designed to help keep our choppers healthy and white is a good thing, but now we have to incorporate it into our schedules using it two-three times per day to ensure we benefit from it. No discussion of evolution would be complete without mentioning communication. Over the past few centuries the number of evolutionary changes regarding this field and act have been staggering. Not only can folks on different sides of the planet speak to each other, but they can do so in "real time" and face-to-to-face. When it comes to communication,one very tricky aspect is incorporating it into our own evolution as individuals. Every day I am bombarded with information. The result is I have some tidbits of information in my head today that I did not have yesterday. At the sametime, there probably are some nuggets I had that I have either forgotten or no longer need or want. This forces me to make some adjustments on a constant basis. This influences how I comunicate with others. It also impacts how others communicate with me. Progress, yes, but also constant challenge.

Election Results

The 2020 Presidential election is now history. The incumbent was defeated - something that has happened only a few times in our nation's history. More people voted in this election than ever in any in our history. The winner received more votes than anyone who has ever run for president. The person who received the second most votes in an presidential election was his opponent, the incumbent. The giant voter turnout is a good thing, of course. Seeing that many citizens do their civic duty is one thing we can all feel good about. In past elections, far too many folks elected not to do their duty. The result was a nation that did not fill its mandate. In 2020 we did much better. With so many people voting, a signficiant result is that there are millions of people who are now very unhappy. They are upset because their preferred candidate - the incumbent - lost. Some are even bitter. Many are convinced the other side cheated to win. Never mind that so far no on has yet to produce evidence to support that claim. A little over half the voting public is extremely happy at how the election turned out. But then there is sizable portion that remains upset. Going into the election the nation was nearly equally divided in terms of the two major candidates. Now with the results in, we still seem to be divided. The election did not heal the divide. Rather, it documented in. Yes, it is good to finally have it behind us. But now what? There remains far too much distrust and animosity. What is going to be done to address that? Giant blocks of citizens are still on opposite sides thinking unpleasant thoughts about the other. This cannot continue. What are our leaders going to do about? What are we going to do about it? One step in the right direction is going to need to involve a great deal of effective communicating. Listening with respect. Talking with. Having open minds and hearts. Bridging the divide within our nation is not going to happen without that.

Choice

The entry I am making now falls on a very significant day in American history: 2020 presidential election. As I write this, over 100 million votes have already been caste. Experts are predicting this year's electrion between Trump and Biden will see the largest voter turnout very possibly in the history of our nation. If that turns out to be true, then I will be delighted. The more people who participate in our nation's democratic process, then the better it is for all of us. After all, an engagged citizenry is what we are supposed to be about. Particularly in a democracy, the health of the nation is only as strong as the active interest of its people. Democracy is about choice. Making one. Sometimes the choice is easy. Sometimes not. Sometimes neither alternative is appealing. For too often when faced with candidates that do not measure up to a voter's ideals, voters here in America have opted to not vote at all; not make any choice. I have always found such behavior to be most unfortunate. When voters decide not to fulfill their civic duty, then we all suffer. The democratic form of government that defines the United Statres suffers. It becomes weaker. Elections are designed to help people determine the direction of the nation. To turn away from that represents a level of apathy that benefits no one. Think how this might apply to communication. When interacting with another, we all have a choice to make as to how we are going to communicate with that person. Be friendly? Be rude? Talk at but not with? Not talk at all? If any of us choose not to communicate at all, then what does that say about us? What is another supposed to think when assessing our character? If given a choice, I am sure we would all prefer that people not think ill of us. As a result, we should behave accordingly. We should choose to communicate in a way that helps make sure that does not happen. This election day, I hope as many people as possible make a choice. I also urge all of us to make a positive choice when it comes to communicating with others.

Ghosts & Goblins

Our nation's next presidential election is now just days away. As is normally the case, there is much tension in the air and will be until the results are known. And even after a victor has been declared officially, dissatisfaction throughout much of the country will remain. The losing political party and its many members will be upset that their candidate lost. Many, no doubt, will continue to make known their ill-feelings about the "other side" as well as their unwillingness to make any thing resembling an overture toward reconciliation. In many ways, the presidential election will not resolve the differences within our country. This reality is what makes Halloween 2020 all the scarier. The ghosts and goblins, it seems, are not children dressed in an array of creative costumes. Rather, they appear to be the grown-ups. It is easy to identify which ones they are. On the one hand, they are the folks who lovingly chuckle at how cute their kids and the ones in the neighborhood are. But on the other, they also spew forth ugly remarks and attitudes toward those who have political views that are counter to theirs. These are the worst kind of ghosts and goblins because their nastiness seems mindless, unrelenting and driven by a very narrow way of thinking. So, what is to be done with what is one of the worst Halloween's in our nation's history? Given the state of mind among so many people, including many of our so-called leaders, the upcoming election will not produce winners and losers. Rather, it will produce losers unless the ghosts and goblins driving it decide to cease with their intolerant mind-set. Such an act requires courage. It calls for a recognition that as valid as our perspectives might be, it is time to begin working at melding them with ones that are different than ours. Also, this time in our history calls for all of us to exhibit a willingness to communicate.

Addressing a Divided House

As of this entry, there is now one week to go before the 2020 Presidential election. By now, it is safe to say that most everyone knows there is much riding on the results. People on both sides of the political aisle are convinced that the country will be on the road to disaster if their side loses. The kicker is that each is probably right - given their perspective on life in the U.S. these past four years. That means there are going to be an awful lot of unhappy folks no matter the results. With that in mind, it seems as if the first order of business for either Trump or Biden will be to begin taking steps to bring the country together. How does one do that? How does one take opposing sides that are convinced with every core of their being that not only are they right in how they see the world but the other side goes beyond wrong. Those on the opposite side are practically evil and because they feel the way they do they are also idiots. On top of that, a large segment of the population will view Trump with much distrust and scorn if he wins and the same will be true with Biden should he win the day. Talk about your tall order. If the winner of the election ignores this divide, then they will be making a major mistake as it will only get worse. The first thing the winner will need to do is acknowledge the divide. Even though such a declaration may seem like stating the obvious, coming from the President of the United States it will still have impact. The second step should be to launch a nationwide listening tour as conducted by the President, his top aides, and even leaders from the opposite political party. Voters will be upset and cry out to express their emotions. Trump and/or Biden will need to give them that opportunity in the form of town hall meetings throughout the entire country. Results of that effort should then be compiled with appropriate recommendations for elected leaders and citizens to follow. Throughout all this, the President should continue to recommit himself to establishing unity in our nation. It is time for all of us to begin taking tangible steps to address our house divided.

Mud-Slinging

Mud-slinging is an expression that has been with us for many years. It pertains to a high level of accusations and insulting that occurs between political candidates who are running against each other for office. I do not know the origins of the expression or who introduced it. Whoever it is should be recognized everytime we have a political campaign. After all, it is not every day one coins an expression that requires no explanation even among those who do not follow politics. Off-hand, the only other phrase that I can think of that ranks just as high on the familiarity scale and that requires no explanation is "love at first sight." As I write this, after today there are ten days remaining in the 2020 presidential campaign. The two candiates - President Donald Trump and former vice president Joe Biden - are following the tradition of mud-slinging. The negativity between them and their followers is intense and will no doubt continue long after the campaign itself is over. Both candidates are to be congratulated for the energy they are bringing to this form of campaigning. (Yes, there are such things as positive campaign. Not a campaign comes along where the candidates do not pledge to run positive campaigns. It is the rare candidate who keep this promise.) Personally, I would prefer if Trump and Biden made a better effort to be positive, but maybe they just bring out the worst in each other. What is the best way for the rest of us to handle this form of political communicating? Enjoy it? Ignore it? Hold office seekers to higher standards? Such questions are not as easy to answer as they might seem. After all, it is important for all citizens to vote even if we may not be totally pleased with our choices. Consequently, we the witnesses to the mud-slinging are left with the option of rising above the unpleasant behavior of our choices. We hope the person to whom we ultimately give our support is better than they sometimes appear to be.

Self-Reflection

A few entries ago I shared that I was attempting to write my autobiography. As of this entry, I am nearly 30,000 words into this project. I am not sure if that is good or bad or if what I have put down on paper thus far has any real merit. But what I am sure of is that taking a look at my history, actions I took, and decisions I made is turning out to be a bigger challenge than I anticipated. Why is that? At the outset, I figured writing about myself would be fairly easy. The only real challenge would be the time commitment. Once I was on board with this, then I should be able to knock out this book in no time. Right? Wrong. Just because I may be an expert on me does not make my self-reflecting any easier. The fact I do know so much about me is what is making this effort all the more challenging. For the first time in a long while I am attempting to critique me. I am attempting to delve into the reasons why I traveled the path I have these many years. What influenced my choices? What led me to select one turn over another? As part of this effort, I am also trying to more thorougly understand my many communication choices. This is especially tricky because it is forcing me to critique myself as a communicator. I am recognizing that there have been times when my communication skills were less than lauditory. It is not easy to acknowledge this. Generally, I like thinking positive thoughts about me. What I do not enjoy is recognizing that I have not always communicated with others in ways that were as straight forward or completely honest as they should have been. That does not make me feel good about me. Perhaps others have these same uncomfortable moments. For me, I am trying to be honest with myself when it comes to those times when I could have behaved more honorably. I urge all others to do the same. Doing so is one way we call improve as communicators. We owe it to ourselves as much as we do thoe folks in our lives.

Aftermath

Each of us communicates every day. And you know what? We are pretty good at it. If I want an extra piece of toast, I know how to make that known. If any of us are ready to go to bed early, then we are fully capable of making that known as well. The point is: day-in-, day-out, we all communicate our wishes with success with great consistency. As a result, on that level, communication is as straight- forward and easy as most anything we can name. The challenge that comes with it is two-fold: how we communicate what we seek to communicate and the aftermath of whatever "style" we might utilize to communicate our initial message. Let's look at those two points. To begin, it is important to remember that the two are linked. One impacts the other. The "how" of any communication effort is very important. For example, if I communicate that I want that extra toast with a scream or by throwing my plate against the wall while making my request, then without question that is sending multiple signals that go far beyond a simple piece of toast. People around me will no doubt recoil from my outburst. If the person wishing to go to bed early does so by kickng over the coffee table and stormiung out of the room, then what they are communicating to others goes far beyond their wanting to hit the hay. This leads us to the aftermath. How we communicate directly affects how others perceive us and how they feel about us. This influence whether folks want to maintain some type of connectionw with us. Who would want to have breakfast with me if I throw my plate over a piece of extra toast? No one. This points to the notion that when we choose to communicate a message in a particular way, then part of our thinking should include the aftermath. What result do we want beyond the immediate message? How important is that to us? Our answer to those basic questions, ideally, should drive the "how" of our communicating. This is what helps make the act of communication so complex.

Our Story

One of my all-time literary heroes was and is Studs Terkel. As an interviewer and author his lasting contribution was a reminder that we all have stories to tell. Within each of us, we carry around biographies that are worth telling. Terkel's most famous book was "Working" in which a host of what I will call "regular people" talked about their jobs and their feelings about the challenges that came with them. (Fun fact: This book was even turned into a Broadway musical.) As Terkel's style of interviewing was conversational rather than, say, confrontational, he was able to elicit thoughtful comments from his many subjects. Drawing from Terkel's work, I believe we can all draw lessons from ourselves to better present ourselves to others. Whether it is in a formal job interview or a casual conversation with a neighbor, our encounters provide us with opportunities to communicate and/or connect. Accepting the premise of Terkel's work, one way all of us might become better connectors or comunicators is by incorporating our own stories into our interactions with others. For instance, it is one thing to tell a prospective employer that you want a job. But such a wish can be significantly strengthened if we can package that wish with a story about ourselves that explains the background of the goal. Presently I am working on my autobiography. I have no idea if anyone other than me and my family will be interested in it once it is completed. I am about one-third of the way through it and, frankly, am not thinking the jury on that is still out. Nevetheless, I am enjoying the process. The challenge of this book revolves around telling my story in a way that is coherent and interesting to others. Given that I am not famous, the challenge is all the greater. Also, the projected book represents a unique comunication exercise in figurng out ways to make stories through me more interesting. Normally, my style is to leave me out of whatever is it is I am talking about. Perhaps I need to change that. This is something that we all might consider about ourselves.

Wiggle Room

So, how much wiggle room is one allowed when it comes to communication? Can you be too loud or too soft in your speech? Can you be too blunt with your message or a bit vague? The answer to all these questions is "yes." That is the great thing about communication. It is also the most frustrating aspect of it. Communicating effectively is as precise as it is imprecise. This is because not every act of communicating works for everyone. To give one example: Sometimes while watching television I need to turn up the volume. And then there are times when I need to turn it down. And this could occur during the same program! And then there is the message itself. Depending upon the topic and what I am doing at that particular moment, at times I need things thoroughly explained to me. Directions, for example. Other times, just give me the name of the ultimate destination and I can take it from there. All this points to the same reality for all of us: we need to be as flexible and nimble as we possibly can when trying to enjoy a sustained connection with another. Here is another piece of reality: that is never going to change. There will never be a one-size-fits-all strategy when it comes to communicating successfully with an audience. And if that is not enough, here is probably the biggest, most undeniable aspect of communication of them all: none of us can throw up our hands and walk away from it. None of us can say, "That's it. I'm outta here." If we are going to co-exist with others, then we have to contend with all the foibles and inconsistencies that define communication. Need I remind any one that being social creatures, we all need to co-exist. We all need to have that skill on some level. If not, then we cease to be. This means all of us need to embrace what I call the wiggleness of communication. Whether we like it or not, when it comes to communicating, wiggle room is part of the mix.

More on Reality

All of us know about reality: death, gravity to cite a few quick examples. Reality is that thing that exists no matter how strenuously one denies it or changes their behavior to avoid it. It is there. Ever-present. And it is not going away. Ever. Most everyone, I believe, would agree that to deny reality is as fruitless and foolish as it is nuts. While to do so may not necessarily be risky, but at the very least, it is silly. But it can be both. For instance, my wife has a birthday coming up in a few weeks. If I choose to deny this reality when the actual day arrives, then the consequences of that will be undeniable - for me and her. Reality is no one's friend. At the same time, it is no one's enemy except when it's existence is denied. Yes, I have blogged about reality before. But it is a topic that needs to be highlighted as often as possible these days given the fact we seem to have a government that denies reality on a regular basis. Climate change? Doesn't exist. Never mind the terrible fires and hurricanes that we are experiencing. Wearing a mask to safeguard against COVID-19? Not important. Scientists, of course, have been shouting from the roof tops about these realities. Yet leaders who should know better have been using their bullhorns to spout the opposite. The consequences of denying the hard-truth of those realties represent reality in its most blunt form. Effective communication at its best is when it is wrapped in truth. Truth comes from fact. The best of our communicators base all that they say and do on both. They do not wrap their outreach on opinion or spin at the expense of truth and fact. That seems obvious enough. Yet spin continues to dominate so much of our airwaves. No wonder the heads of so many of us seem to be spinning all the time. Being witnesses to ongoing wrong-headedness is exhausting. No wonder people are either protesting or turning away.

Information

Call me old fashion or old school or just old, but I like information. I like that entity that gives you facts. I like it best when it does not come wrapped in fancy ribbons or off-the-wall hyperbole. The benefit of information speaks for itself. It needs no showcasing of any kind - at least for me. Just share it in its straight-forward glory and I am good-to-go. I like it best when it is not weighed -down with opinion or heavy emotion. The power of information is that it needs none of that. Its power speaks for itself. Big time and with a level of consistency that is unmatched. But don't take my word for it. I bet there is no one who does like or need information, too. In fact, our embrace of it is so strong that we get upset when information is withheld or it is not presented in its entirety. Incomplete information is unfair to information and, more importantly, to any of us on its receiving end. Another great thing about information is that it lets us decide what to do about it or with it. If we take certain action as a result of it, then that is on us. Or if we decide to do nothing based on it, then that is okay, too. Information does not push itself on any one. Rather, it says "Here I am. Do with me what you want." It does not judge. It does not second-guess. It does not crticise or, for that matter, praise. Any issue I may have with information is not directed at information itself but the agents of it. I applaud those who communicate it accurately and in a timely manner. For those who do information wrong by presenting it inaccuately or not in full, then I say, "Shame on you." You are the true villains of informastion-sharing. You are the "bad guys" of communication. Sadly, in our world today, there are more than enough "bad guys" thank you very much. I am not just talking about public figures. They are among us. They are "regular folks." At times, they may even be us. We must all continue to concentrate on being one of the "good guys" when it comes to information. It is a daily battle.

Miniature Golf

It may be embarrassing to admit this, but growing up I always enjoyed playing miniature golf. Even as an adult, it was fun to take my daughter or go with friends to try our hand at seeing how easily we could putt the ball past the windmill or play the angles to come as close to a hole-in-one as possible. Plus, miniature golf was never all that expensive. In its hey day, according to Wikipedia, it is estimated there were over 25,000 miniature golf courses throughout the United States. That's an average of about 500 per individual state. Is there any one who has not played at least one round of miniature golf in their life? Miniature golf has always struck me as being similar to communication. Obstacles. Turns. Angles. Traps. Overshooting the hole. Being overly cautious. All these hurdles were designed to make the golf more fun, but also more difficult. One finds many of the same challenges in attempting to connect with others. In the context of communication, they are not always so much fun. In many ways, each of us is our own miniature golf course. How many times, for example, has a friend or acquaintence attempted to connect with us only to be rejected by our own windmill of emotion? How many traps do we set for others to keep them from getting too close? Here's a thought: one way to be better at communicating is to treat others as we would a miniature golf course. With the right mindset, it can be a fun experience. Challenging, too, but in a less stressful way. Miniature is more enjoyable when played with others. People approach it with the idea of having a positive experience. My thinking here is communicating can be more effective if we view others as having their own set of obstacles that we must figure out how best to work through or around. At the same time, they have the same challenge with us. And just as it is in miniature golf, everyone finishes together with smiles and in anticipation of what is ahead.

Liars

How do you deal with lying liars who lie? This is not always as easy as sit may seem. Folks who lie play by their own set of rules that does not jive with those who do not purposefully tell falsehoods. Most people in most situations tell the truth. To begin, we must state that this is not to be confused with those times when folks are stating their opinon or giving their analysis of an event or issue. Often people will claim to have "their own truth." That is another way of saying, "I have my opinion." Opinions are not lies but neither are they "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." The kind of truth I am referring to is a fact. Gravity remains the undisputed champ when it comes to fact. Liars try to pass off falsehoods as facts. It is like saying gravity does not determine whether an object falls to the ground. When that happens, how does one on the receiving end of a purposeful falsehood react, particularly when they know they have just been lied to? The choices range from ignoring it to correcting the falsehood or ending the conversation. Ideally, for any interaction to have a chance of remaining effective or having a lengthy timeline, then the lie must be called out. It must be corrected. The victim of the lie must decide whether they want their encounter with the liar to continue. Assuming they do, then the question revolves around how best to let it be known that you know a lie has been told. Further, tell the liar that you do not appreciate what they have just done. Set the record straight by stating what is fact and be able to defend your claim. You can do this calmly or by speaking harshly. Again, it depends upon what, if any, future interactions you wish to have with that person. There is also the matter of the gravity of the lie and the reasons behind it. Still, a lie is a lie and a comunication device designed to derail or impede postive encounters. As we dwell in a world of constant communication, that is not to be tolerated.

Suicide

I was in the eleventh grade in high school when I had my first introduction to suicide. One of the guys that I had lunch with every day died by his own hand. It happened over a weekend. I remember that all of us had just plopped down at the table at which we usually ate and cut-up until it was time to return to classes. Somebody asked, "Hey. Where's Jim?" Several seconds of silence passed when another spoke up, "Didn't you hear, " he said. "Jim killed himself this weekend." A lot more than seconds passed before any one said anything. We all began asking questions. Are you sure? What happened? What was wrong? None of us ever did learn exactly what was happening that made Jim decide to end his own life. He was barely old enough to drive, yet had reached a point in his thinking that death was more appealing than life. He no longer wanted to endure whatever emotional pain he was feeling. Even now, over a half century later, the memory of this tragedy gives me pause. Suicide was a thing "out there" that perhaps a one would hear about in the news or if a celebrity took their life. Yet here it was at what felt like my own doorstep. A person I actually knew, talked to, laughed with, had turned down that one-way path. Forever. I mention this incident to drive home a key point about communication. This guy was a close friend of mine, yet I had no clue as to the depth of his inner pain. Perhaps he was giving me signals that I failed to pick up on. Even if he was not, one thing I failed to do was reach out. Never mind that we talked nearly every day at school. His unexpected passing made me realize that all of us should never stop communicating with each other in meaningful ways. This includes asking hearfelt questions and then making a point of listening to what responses are given. Communicating well can help all of us feel as if we are not alone.

A Very Personal Act

One aspect of communication that is not discussed all that often is how personal it is. It is very personal. Off-hand, I can not think of any thing that is more personal than how we present ourselves or how we communicate with others. Are we polite? Cordial? Rude? Off-putting? Whatever the answer may be, it gives a window into the kind of person we are. Yes, that glimpse may speak to us at thet specific moment in time, but it also showcases us on a deeper level. Whether we interact with what I will describe as a non-essential person in our life, such as the person behind the counter at a local movie theater or one who is essential such as a relative, then we are revealing us. "This is who I am," we are saying to them. What would we like that person's response to be to such a declaration? Do we want them to think positively about us or negatively? How about indifference? Don't forget tramautic. The list of possiblities is endless. Whatever answer we either choose or prefer, the reality is it is one in which we play a major role in answering. For instance, in a little while I am going to go to our local grocery store to pick up a few items. It is my decision to make as to how I present myself to the person in the check-out line or to other customers. Regardless of how I am feeling or whether I am having a good or bad day, this is my call to make. Whatever decision I make will heavily influence how I am perceived. It is on me, not them. Each act of communication has a purpose. But so, too, does each act leave an emotional footprint. We leave an impression with every facial expression, physical act or turn-of-phrase. Yes, the message is important, but so is the act of presenting it. This is how it is with communicating. How we communicate is how we are regardless of the circumstances. Bottom line: if we want others to think well of us, then we need to commuicate accordingly. It is a very personal act.

Truth

There are few things more simple than truth. It is, as they say, what it is. It is straightforward, uncomplicated, unbiased, and non-partisan. It has no hidden agenda, nor is it geared to manipulate, sway or direct those on the receiving end of it in any particular direction. It does not have friends, enemies, colleagues, alliances or acquaintances. There is no path on which it travels, nor does it seek to be anything other than what it is. Truth has no ambition, wish to hide or be the center of attention. It does not march to the beat of its own drummer because it leaves beats and drummers to others. Truth does not set out to please, disappoint or serve. The term popularity means nothing to it because being surrounded by others or left alone does not matter to it. If truth were a person, it would be an odd duck, a subject of great curiosity and probably gossip. It would be the focus of whispers, rumors and speculation. Adults would no doubt warn their children to stay away from it simply because they themselves were not sure what to make of it. Though not anti- social, truth would not seek out the company of others. At the same time, it would not turn away any one. It would exist to be of use or not. If used, it would not take responsiblity for how it was used by others. That would be the burden of others. At the same time, truth could be one's strongest allie or worst enemy. B eing what it is, it could be extremely helpful or a great inconvenience. When it comes to communicating, truth is the shining object that many hold high above their heads and claim to know better than anyone else. It is, they claim, the element of life that they have a true "lock-on." They even go as far as to claim they own it. But do they? Interestingly, many also claim to have have their own truth, but do they? Bottom line: truth belongs to no one and everyone. Professional communicators are wise to recognize that and treat it accordingly. This means if truth is every mis- used, then the fault is with the user. Truth is and forever will be blameless.

Sharing Bad News

Let me say upfront, no one likes bad news. I sure don't. Whenever any one says to me, "I have good news and bad news," I always respond by saying that I will take the good news, thank you very much. Of course, one cannot live anything close to a reality-based life without having to digest their share of bad news. This also applies to being the one who has to pass on the bad news. Just as none of us want to be told something "bad," being the one who has to do the telling is also a tough pill to swallow. (Over the years, my dentist has had a lot of practice with this when it comes to giving me the latest on my teeth.) Fortunately, I have good news about passing on bad news. Be honest. Straightforward. Up front. No sugar coating. No warm and fuzzy analogies designed to "soften the blow." No ambiguity. Tell your audience whether it is one other person or mutiple people the truth. Granted, it is no fun hearing that you did not get that job you so badly wanted or that your cat, Blinky, is dead. We have all been there. But let us be honest, looking back, was it not better to be told something we did not want to hear in a direct and clear way? This holds true for the teller of bad news as well, by the way. The coronavirus contines to wreak havoc in the United States. Very soon we will pass the 200,000 mark in terms of people losing their lives to it. A few days ago we learned that President Trump knew at the outset of the disease coming to our shores just how serious and deadly it was. Despite his knowledge, for months and months he opted to not be upfront about this fact and, instead, continued to communicate such things that it would disappear "magically" and that it would not be any more serious than the "regular flu." His willful dishonesty has only made matters worse for us and him. His decision to communicate the way he did - and still does - is communication at its worst.

A Challenge for the Ages

It is a public relations challenge that scholars and practitioners will discuss for years to come. A standing president of the United States is quoted as calling those who have served in the military and, in numerous cases, given their lives in doing so "suckers" and "losers." Firstly, it is unbelievable that anyone might hold such an opinion, but mind-numbing that one such person who does is the commander in chief who oversees that same military. As this was just disclosed only a few days ago, the fall-out from his remarks remains to be seen. Not surprisingly, however, as I write this indications are that outrage is building. In response to the article, President Trump contines to deny strongly that he ever made those comments. The denial comes despite the fact numerous media outlets have corroberated the story. This brings us to the challenge now before the President's media representatives. What do they do? What do they say? How do they handle this challenge? One such hurdle is the President's well-documented history of criticising various military veterans who were captured by enemy forces. Then there is the matter of negative comments he has made over the years about Gold Star families whose children were killed while serving. The odds, it seems, are stacked heavily against those men and women currently faced with the task of defending their "boss." On first glance, the strategy currently being put forth to deny the story and charge the press with making a gross error seems to make the most sense. With that, the controversy becomes one person's word against another's. No doubt this gives the President's defenders enough of a lifeline to which to cling to justify their ongoing support. But then there is the sticky matter of truth. The President has a serious credibility problem any way. If he is lying about this as many believe, then his standing as a public figure is doomed. I will be sharing more thoughts on this in future entries.