Fun House Mirrors

I am sure many of us have been to a local carnival or amusement park at some point in our lives. At most, if not all of them, there is the famous fun house. We go inside and, among other things, soon find ourselves standing in front of its many mirrors which distort the shape of our bodies or some portion of our bodies in some wacky and amusing way. These mirrors are designed to elicit smiles and - bottom line - help the fun house live up its name. They are meant to fascinate and amuse but not to be taken seriously. No one that I know, at least, ever has. Unfortunately, fun houses are not the only places where mirrors that distort reality can be and are found.

One part of being a responsible communicator is having the ability to recognize the reality-based mirrors from the ones that distort. Granted, this is not always easy to do because some of these fun house mirrors are a lot more subtle than the ones in the fun house. Sometimes these bogus mirrors come in the form of the written word while other times in the spoken word. They present themselves through figures of authority like a boss or public official, a familiar face like a celebrity or media commentator, or even a friendly face like a family member. They tap into our emotions, insecurities or areas of interest. They are hard to resist and, at times, harder to recognize for what they really are.

The best way to deal with these kind of mirrors is to have firm footing in what is real. That is easy to do in a fun house because we know, for example, our heads are not really shaped like bowling pins. It is our sense of reality and firm grasp of awareness as to how our body really is shaped that enables us to laugh off the obvious distortion. If we are to carry ourselves as effective communicators, then it is important that we do our best to achieve and maintain a similar level of knowledge in an array of topics and issues so we are able to recognize bogus mirrors outside the fun house and then deal with them accordingly. While we should not ignore what is being transmitted to us by these mirrors or other entities that pose as sources of reality, we should also balance this against what we feel we know to be true via our own research and base of knowledge. At the same time, we need to recognize our personal base of knowledge must constantly be expanded in order to better contend with the bogus mirrors that are so pervasive in today's world. This helps us be better and more discerning listeners when images and information are communicated to us.

Things For Which I Am Not Grateful

Not a day passes when I do not give thanks for something in my life to which I place value. So, in that regard, the fact Thanksgiving is tomorrow does not mean I am suddenly feeling gratitude in my heart in ways I do not already do. But because tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I will concede that my list of things to be thankful for may be more comprehensive than usual. Nevertheless, giving thanks is a big part of my daily mantra. Having said that, however, I also believe there are some things in this world of ours to which no one should give thanks or even think warmly toward. They serve as blights on our society and ability as people to connect and remain connected. Specifically, I wish to focus on two of them: irresponsible communication and irresponsible ignorance.

When I speak of irresponsible communication I think of persons in power and positions of influence. Irresponsible communication covers such acts as lying, deceit, unfounded name calling and false presentation. Hardly a day passes when I do not see examples of this kind of behavior in the form of comments and actions by men and women - political leaders, business executives, and media commentators - who can and do know better. While I do not begrudge them for putting their interests above others, what I resent is the fact they advocate their interests at the expense of others. Their power and visibility give them unjust and unfair influence and weight. Nevertheless, they take advantage of this reality by cloaking their agendas in the guise of helping others when, in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

When I speak of irresponsible ignorance I speak of those members of our society who are not famous, rich or particularly influential; regular folks of which I consider myself to be one. It troubles me greatly there are those who are so driven by their own ideology that they feel it unnecessary to study or research whether there are any facts to support their perspectives. They exhibit great passion and zeal and, sadly, end up doing more harm to a country and world they profess to love. I understand, on a day to day basis, many of these men and women lead busy lives by striving to take care of their families and hold down their jobs. Good for them. At the same time, if they are going to attend rallies and wave signs, then perhaps they first need to first carve out some time in their schedules to gain a better understanding of what it is they support or advocate. For instance, do these regular folk really want rich people to get richer in order that their own lives will be made worse?

Our country and our world have enough problems as it is. The last thing any of us - rich, not-so rich and poor - should be doing is to make them worse and more deeply entrenched. Consequently, we need to be more responsible communicators and more responsible in raising our breath of knowledge and not be blinded by ideology. So, on this day before Thanksgiving, while I give thanks for our ability to be better communicators and be less ignorant, I do not give thanks for an apparent unwillingness on the part of far too many to do either.

It Takes Two

Communication is too big of a job for any one person. On the face of it, that may seem blatantly false. After all, any one can stand up and speak, sit down and write a blog or scratch out a note on the side of a cave wall. Can't they? Of course the answer is "yes." But does doing all those things constitute communication? My response is "no." It only becomes communication when someone hears those spoken words, reads that blog or sees those cave scratchings. In other words, just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to communicate. An obvious example is a simple telephone call. Calling up a friend and leaving a message does not constitute talking with that friend. It is only when the message is heard or they pick up the phone and begin talking with the caller that communication occurs.

Words, non-verbal communiques or signals are, at best, only one part of the communication equation. The response - any response - from another is necessary in order to complete the act of communication. Without the person or persons on the receiving end, then any thing one of us says without an audience is nothing more than noise. Noise, by itself, does not constitute communication. Thus, no matter how articulate one might be or how glib of a wordsmith they are, without another person to respond, provide feedback or add onto the initial message, the communication act is and remains incomplete. A purist might argue: can't we communicate with ourselves? Of course. I know over the years I have been known to carry on a conversation or two with myself. But I would suggest such an act is more an act of thinking or formulating thoughts rather than actual communication.

I view this truism as being important for public relations practitioners and others in the communication industry to remember because it emphasizes how important it is to devise strategies that connect with audiences and encourage feedback. Acts of communication need a response - positive or negative. Picture a classroom teacher without a raised hand from a student or an entertainer without applause or boos or anyone of us without acknowledgment from others. Communication exists on the basis of response or reaction. Without it, no communication occurs or even exists. Instead, writers and speakers, for instance, are reduced to being little more than noise makers.

"Old" Social Media

Recently, I spoke to about 35 members of a local chapter of the American Association of University Women. Our topic of conversation was the impact of social media on education and the American culture. It is an important and broad topic, of course, and, not surprisingly, one on which we were only able to skim the surface in the hour or so we were together. Everyone at this meeting, except me, was retired after spending much of their professional lives in education. Nevertheless, all were deeply interested in the social media revolution. How best could they tap into social media in order to communicate more effectively with their own friends and family members as well as with other organizations was probably the most overriding question the group had. It is the right question to ask.

I am not sure how much longer social media will maintain its current top spot position as the best way to reach out to others. In these times when it is becoming increasingly difficult to find someone - anyone - who is not using some form of social media, the group's question strikes me as being more and more germane to our efforts to connect with others. Even though social media remains a new form of communication, its great popularity is making effective use of it more challenging. For instance, if nearly 150,000 million people in the United States blog, according to Newsweek, then how does one go about distinguishing their blog from so many others? With the number of Facebook users even higher, then posting announcements in the hope they will be noticed and acted upon becomes just as daunting. In other words, even though social media is new, it seems to have gotten old quickly.

This is not to say those who blog and utilize Facebook to reach out to others are wasting their time. I do not believe they are. At the same time, users of these and other forms of social media would be wise to lower their expectations if they view them as being sure fire ways to connect with others and generate some type of response. This also suggests that all of us will need to continue searching for new communication tools and strategies to utilize. I wish I was wise or creative enough to suggest what they might be. But at some point maybe we will find ourselves reverting back to old fashioned tools such as phone calls or face-to-face interactions. This, in essence, was my ultimate response to the overriding question posed by those members of the AAUW. All of us, I believe, should continue exploring better ways to social media, but we need to remember this particular tool is not the only one in the tool box.

The New American Dream

Any body see any unicorns lately? Sasquatch maybe? How about a winning lottery ticket? No, I didn't think so. At least I haven't. But that doesn't mean we aren't looking. Nor does it mean we are giving up no matter how great the odds against us might be. If there is one thing I will say about Americans, when it comes to searching for that magic elixir, we stand aside for no one. After all, isn't that the new American dream? You suddenly discover you had a rich uncle you never new about who just died and left you one million dollars. Or you are picked out in a crowd by some quirky movie producer who makes you the star of their next mega hit and the result is you are adored by millions and have fame and fortune beyond your wildest imagination.

Is there any one among us who has not fantasized at some time about those turn of events happening to us? I sure have. Given the tough economic and political times in which we find ourselves, who could blame any one for occasionally gazing at the stars and weaving a fantastic tale which ends in our getting everything we ever wanted? To all who do dream those dreams, I say "dream on, " but with a warning: do not let those dreams get in the way of reality, no matter how grim and frustrating it might seem at present. That frustration, by the way, is fed to us daily by far too many talking heads and, even worse, elected officials who continue feeding us the myths that (1) the road to regaining our footing as individuals and a nation will not require sacrifice and compromise; (2) big corporations and conglomerates are not going to have to have to put aside their obscene thirst for profit and power to work for the greater good of the entire population; and (3) we as individuals are not going to have to accept the reality that individuality only works in the context of cooperation and respect with and for others.

Communication is never more vital than in times of stress and duress. Furthermore, communication is never better than when it is honest. It is no coincidence that the worst bumps in our nation's evolution have occurred when honest communication was not practiced. The Red Scare of the 1950s, the Vietnam conflict of the 1960s, Watergate of the 1970s, the impeachment of a president of the 1990s, and the invasion of Iraq of this young century were among the dark times in our recent history perpetuated by false communication. Even when truth began to shine through, however, it still took years to recover from the damage that was done. My sense is people can, in fact, handle the truth. Sadly and ironically, it seems far too many of our leaders can't handle telling it. We need better communicators.

Communication As An Enigma

Communication is an enigma. It is a puzzle that seems simple, yet upon closer inspection reveals itself to be a complex phenomenon that often leads to contradictory results. In the past century, for instance, there is no doubt the act of communicating with others has seen tremendous strides. From the telegraph to the wire services to radio to television and to the Internet, getting the word out about something or passing along information such as news has seen unbelievable improvement. As a result, the sharing of information can now be done almost instantaneously. To label this reality as anything but positive would be doing a great disservice to the men and women who made it possible as well as the potential benefits it brings to all of us.

Yet, to me, this is where the puzzle reveals itself. Just as our society is better able to communicate, there seems to be a growing segment of this same society that seems to be disenfranchised. Even with all of the so-called communicating that is going on through all kinds of channels and mechanisms, more and more people - young and old, men and women, rich and poor - are being turned off, overwhelmed or feeling as if what is being passed around is not speaking to their needs or relevant to their interests and lives. Recent elections are a perfect example of this. In a country that touts itself as the greatest democracy in the world, rarely, if ever, do more than 50 percent of the registered voters actually vote. Is this because these millions of men and women do not actually know an election is going? Or is it because how and what is being communicated throughout the campaigns, including by those who work for candidates, those in the news business, and regular folk who simply talk among themselves about issues of the day, are not able to relate to the noise they hear, see and read?

My conclusion: while we as a society can communicate well, I am sure we are. I also wonder whether any one is really paying attention to this disturbing trend or even genuinely cares about it. I have doubts. These days I equate communication with progress. Yes, as a whole, our society has made great progress. Yet despite this, there are more people in the world who are starving and living in poverty than ever before. Why are these people being left behind? Why are there more and more people who are not being addressed or whose voices are not being heard or given attention? This gap concerns me. Economically, it seems to be generally accepted that there are haves and have nots in the world. It is also recognized that the gap between the two is growing at a disturbing rate. Do these two divisions also exist when it comes to communication? I am inclined to think so. This, too, is not a good trend.

Addressing Negative Tension

Over the past few weeks there have been a couple of high profile disciplinary actions within the national media. At National Public Radio, one of its commentators, Juan Williams, was fired as a result of what management interpreted as inappropriate remarks he made on a Fox network talk show regarding his initial reaction to seeing Muslims on airplanes. Most recently, MSNBC suspended indefinitely one of its top news commentators, Keith Olbermann, when it was learned he donated money to several Democrat candidates without first informing his organizational superiors. Both actions seemed to come out of nowhere and generated much media attention. As I write this, they still are.

Based on their public explanations, I understand why management at NPR and MSNBC did what it did. At the same time, I think their actions were an overreaction to the so-called infractions and a mistake. As a result, both of these highly regarded and highly respectable organizations came off with egg on their respected faces. But the more I read about these two situations the more I am inclined to believe there is more to each management's actions than meets the eye. In the case of Williams, for instance, supposedly his bosses at NPR had been unhappy for a while regarding Williams' affiliation with the Fox network. Williams was a regular contributor to and guest on several of Fox's news talk programs. My sense is Williams' comments about how seeing Muslims on airplanes on which he, too, is a passenger makes him uncomfortable was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back." In the case of Olbermann, reports indicate he and his superiors had been butting heads for a good while. Apparently, his infraction was the excuse they were looking forward to give him a giant slap on the wrist.

In the two cases, the tension between Williams and Olbermann and their bosses had been building for awhile. My guess is both men knew this and probably sensed it was just a matter of time before something were to happen and those negative feelings erupted into some type of public and ugly mess. One lesson to be learned from these incidents is bubbling tension should not be ignored. Instead it should be addressed ideally in a respectable and upfront way. Whether it pertains to office co-workers, neighbors, a boss and an employee, or even a husband and wife, it is vital that negative ill-feelings not be allowed to fester. They only get worse and build. Granted, addressing them is not easy and takes good communication skills. But these skills are not beyond the reach of any of us. Basically, they involve honest sharing and open listening. I understand having a conversation of this nature is not the easiest thing for any of us to do. Butif such a step is not taken or at least attempted, then the eventual consequences are never good.

Howard Zinn and the Little Guy

I have a new person to add to my list of heroes. He's the late historian Howard Zinn. I just started reading his masterpiece , "A People's History of the United States 1492 to the Present." (Shame on me for taking so long to get to it). I am finding out what so many people before me discovered: it is wonderful. What I like best about the perspective Zinn takes is that he looks at the history of our nation from the perspective of the average person and not the leaders or persons who necessarily grabbed all the headlines then as well as now. Of course, this is not to say that people like Christopher Columbus, George Washington and, more recently, Ronald Reagen are not mentioned. They and many of the other familiar historical icons certainly are. But instead of simply presenting the times in which these individuals led, challenges they faced and impact of their decisions and visions, Zinn looks closely at the equally important and difficult challenges that many of the so-called "little people" faced during the times in which Abraham Lincoln, Henry Ford and Franklin Roosevelt reigned and often dominated the attention and interest of the nation and even the world.

How did the average soldier during America's Revolutionary War cope when the revolutionary leaders were not able to pay them? Fast forward over 200 years, what concerns were many U.S. citizens having and feeling at the time the United States was organizing an international coalition designed to drive the army of Iraq out of Iran? We know what the headlines of the time said in response to these questions, but Zinn goes beyond them and, in doing so, provides invaluable insight into the fabric of our nation in ways that few historians have done before or since. Zinn's book raises important questions for professional communicators: Who speaks for the person with no voice? What role can or should professional communicators play in helping provide those with little or no power or influence with the opportunity to speak out, be heard and perhaps make a difference?

While I have no precise answer to those questions, I do know our society has little chance of maintaining any degree of health and vitality if its key publics are not talking with each other. If the rich and powerful continue talking at those who are neither of those things, then discontent will continue filling the air from which our nation draws life. While it is possible the so-called Tea Party movement reflects efforts on the part of the non-rich and powerful to be heard, I have my doubts. Time will tell. But either way, that dialog must be allowed to continue. While working with clients, pubic relations professionals need do all they can to encourage ways for their clients to connect with those they employ and/or represent. Their public relations strategies must include meaningful interaction or mutual engagement between managers and employees, for instance. It all begins with trying to bring people together.