Thursday, December 29, 2011

Little White Lies

We all tell them. Our mother asks us how we like her new hairdo and we say we do even if we don't. We urge our spouse to take us to a local favorite local restaurant to quietly celebrate their birthday knowing full well that a boatload of their friends are eagerly waiting to yell "surprise" and turn an intimate dinner into a blow-out party. These are just two examples of little white lies, innocent fabrications that everyone tells from time to time. Society has deemed them to be harmless and even kind. Therefore, though technically lies, they are acceptable and even expected. For instance, if I had ever told my mother I did not like one of her new hairdos, then I would be viewed as rude and borderline mean.

Even on a broader scale, it is ok to exaggerate or take liberty with the truth. In these current political times, for instance, there is much truth-stretching going on. In one television ad, former Governor Mitt Romney shows clips of President Obama commenting on the national economy in a manner that illustrates how our current commander-in-chief is not a man of his word. Shortly after the ad was run, however, it was quickly noted by a number of sources that the clip was purposefully altered in such a way to depict Obama as saying something he did not actually say. When confronted with this, members of the Romney camp - and Romney himself - simply laughed it off.

Was this a little while lie or something darker? And if it was darker, will the Romney campaign experience any negative blowback? Where and how does society draw the line between the little white lies we all tell and ones that have potentially deeper consequences? I do not see any hard and fast lines of demarcation here though over the years the courts have tried to draw them in matters involving commercial and political speech and possible libel and slander. This is tricky and potentially dangerous territory for any public relations practitioner. My sense is the origins of this murkiness can be traced back to those little while lies. We grow up with the notion that, at times, it is ok to sretch or violate the truth. While I do not believe little white lies should be viewed the same as darker tall tales, I do feel professional communicators, especially, need to practice extreme caution when they are asked to knowingly tinker with what they know to be true and factual.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A National Puzzle

It is no secret the American public holds both branches of the the United States Congress in very low regard. This, I might add, is well deserved. Beside the fact representatives and senators are well paid, have access to a healthcare plan many of them do not seem to want to share with the rest of the American public, enjoy a number of perks, and seem to spend more trying to safeguard their jobs than actually representing their constituents, those elected officials are not liked by the rest of us for a very fundamental reason: they do not work together. This is maddening and counter to how the general American population conducts its lives every day.

Every day the rest of us go to work and collaborate with some people we do not like, do not wish to spend time with, or agree with. Yet we do it because this is what grown-ups do, out of loyality to our employer, and in order to stay employed. But what feels like every day we hear and see in the news more examples of how the members of Congress refuse to talk with each other, reach agreement on various issues, or are unable to achieve compromise. We see this and think: "I do this every day. Why can't they?" It is a pretty basic question, yet one I have yet to hear any member of Congress, when asked, answer. As a result, the membes of our nation's House of Representatives and Senate have become punch lines to a bad joke.

I wish I liked everybody with whom I work. I wish I saw eye-to-eye with everyone with whom I work. But I don't on either account. I am sure this is true for most of us. Yet all of us are expected to put aside our personal feelings and do what needs to be done to be productive and contribute to the greater good that is our organization's mission. And that is exactly what the great majority of us do. But not the members of Congress. I am struggling to understand why. After all, issues they tackle are a lot more important than what I or most of us do. The fact the elected men and women in Washington, D.C. seem so unwilling to meet such a funamental responsibility does not set well with me and, from the national polls suggest, the entire American public. Why can't they communicate as well as the rest of us? After all, they used to be one of us.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Shopping Malls

It is that time of year when there is one place no one wants to go yet most everyone does. Me included. Shopping malls. Depending upon the specific mall, their scale of congestion ranges from madhouse all the way up to "absolutely nuts." The hustle and bustle of shoppers of all ages only adds to the apparent chaos that seems to reign at these centers of holiday hunting. Trying to find a parking place. Long lines. People juggling packages and bags and their own winter coats. Children waiting in line to have a few last-minute words with Santa Claus. And the shoppers themselves scurrying about with expressions that suggest annoyance, frenzy, concern, and commitment all at the same time. It is another holiday season at the shopping mall.

Despite all that, it is a funny thing about shopping malls, particularly during the holiday season. Order prevails. Workers carry out their tasks with purpose. Shoppers actually accomplish their goals. Things get done. Yes, it may take longer than most of us would like. The atmosphere itself may at times seem on the brink of total collapse. Yet workers do work. Shoppers do shop. Missions are accomplished. On the surface that may seem like a minor miracle given the frenzy at the shopping malls. And maybe it is. But I think the success of shopping malls is more basic than that: everyone has a purpose that is well defined, communicated and ultimately carried out.

These modern-day marketplaces are actually highly-functional. Without question, they have every reason to collapse under the weight of humanity that descends upon them every day from morning till night. But they don't. As odd as it may sound, in a certain way they represent the best of us as people. We go to them with our own goals, interact with our fellow shoppers in a cooperative manner, collaborate with the workers who facilitate our efforts, and then return to our dwellings a bit tired but generally satisfied. The shopping malls represent the reality that millions of men and women can and actually do work together successfully to achieve their own ends while helping maintain the existence of shopping malls that function for the benefit of all.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Our Defining Element

What defines us as people? Is it what we eat? Who we know? What we know? Our actions? What we wear? What we say? Our jobs? Our hobbies? My sense is the answer is "all of the above." In fact, it is probably those elements and a whole lot more. We as living beings are complex creatures. The notion that a fair and full assessment of our character could be determined on the basis of a few component parts does not seem right, particularly since a number of those aspects of our personality or character are often seem contradictory. For instance, as a communication professional, I operate as an extrovert. Yet by nature I am much more introverted.

Yet no matter how many component parts there are that comprise the whole of us, it is my sense they all share an important common denominator. (If you guess it pertains to communication, then you get to go directly to the head of the class.) Take the elements I alluded to in the earlier paragraph. Each one represents acts of verbal or non-verbal communication. By associating with certain people, by wearing particular style of clothes, by behaving in specific ways, for instance, we are sending out signals to others that give them insight into who and even what we are. As a result, people begin assessing us as individuals and even begin making certain judgments about us.

If we wish to be defined in a positive light, then the challenge, as I see it, is to be honest in our communication. This does not mean we need to be consistent in our behavior, our opinions or even our words. But what I am suggesting is that we be honest in how we determine our actions, opinions and words. Are they based on facts? Are they carried out in good faith? Are they put forth in a way that acknowledges possible doubts or inconsistencies? Are they respectful of others? If the answer is "yes" to those, then I believe we will have a much better chance or being defined in a positive way even if others do not always agree with us.

Friday, December 16, 2011

My Communication Journey

I started out wanting to be a cowboy, more specifically a big Texas rancher. One of my cousins and I used to wax philosophic about the joys of living a life of riding the range, leading cattle on a long drive, and sitting arond an open campfire. We were not quite ten years at the time. After that, I kicked around the idea of becoming a secret agent. I am sure the fact "Dr. No," the first James Bond movie, had just been released was a coincidence. At this point, I was a "mature" 12 years olf age. That career path did not last long, however. Baseball became my driving ambition. To me, it was the great sport. I was convinced a life of catching flies, scooping up grounders and connecting bat to ball could not be matched by anything.

That desire lasted till my undergraduate years in college. By then, I had accumulated years of experience at all levels of the sport: little league, high school junior and senior varsity, and even a brief stint pitching for a low level Atlanta Braves farm team. It was fun. But the harsh reality is I was simply not good enough to go any further than I did. At the ripe old age of 19, I was faced with the challenge of deciding on other career options. It was then I revisted something else I enjoyed doing: asking people questions and then writing about what they said. I thought back to my time on the high school newspaper and decided journalism might be as good of a major to declare in college as any other. Besides, another harsh reality is I could not identify anything else I was even remotely interested in or good at.

So, I joined the college newspaper and started taking classes in journalism and communication. Four and a half years later I managed to graduate and land my first "grown up" job: a general assignment reporter for a daily newspaper. I ended up working for another newspaper before entering into public relations. My age was 25 was my first job in PR was at a local community college . My whopping annual salary was $4,800. While putting food on the table was a challenge, I ended up enjoying the work a great deal. Now, all these years later, I am still trying to be the best I can be in what started out as a fallback profession. And, yes, every so often I still dream aboutr life as a major leaguer.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Power & Communication: Joined at the Hip

Power and communication is a twosome I have been giving much thought to lately because of their fundamental intersection. If power is the ability to influence, then effective communication is the primary tool for making that happen. Throughout history, there have been great leaders; that is, individuals who have wielded much influence. Every single one, I would argue, has been an effective communicator or, at the very least, had a strong communication operation behind them. History shows that the leader's power begins to crumble when flaws in their communication machine are exposed or begin to break down.

What could cause such a breakdown? Often, one simple answer is found in the leader's message. Either it is found to be bogus or weak, it is no longer timely or relevant to the public, or the manner in which has been delivered is not viable. One need only look at the politics of our times to see examples of this. Many people initially supported our country's invasion of Iraq because citizens were told that country was an imminent threat to the U.S. Coming on the heels of 9/11, people were nervous and inclined to believe what they were being told by our government leaders. We now know the claims made by the Bush administration were either intentionally false or good faith projections that proved to be inaccurate. The result was two-fold: a sharp decline in the credibility of Bush and his administrative team and a rejection of their message.

The message, as has been said many times before, is the key. It must remain as credible and pertinent as the messenger him or herself. The two, in essence, rise and fall together because they are joined at the hip. Often times individuals in leadership positions lose sight of this and believe they can say most anything because they foolishly start believing it is they to which their public responds. This reality only goes so far. Inevitably, their success and level of influence lies in what they say and in how they say it. This holds true for public leaders with many followers jut as much as it does for persons involved in a one-on-one relationship.

Friday, December 9, 2011

My Tom Wicker Lesson

Recently, Tom Wicker, the former Pulitzer Prize winning columnist with the New York Times, passed away. In the world of journalism, Wicker was definitely a giant - as a reporter and commentator. I mention his passing because of what I feel is a kindness he extended me many years ago. Wicker had just written a book on the riots at Attaca State Prison in New York. In it, Wicker was critical of how then-Governor Nelson Rockefeller handled the incident. I was a teenager then, but nevertheless was interested in the subject matter, so I bought the book and read it. One thing I was curious about, after reading it, was how Rockefeller behaved toward Wicker the next time the two crossed paths after the book's release.

Not really sure if I would get a response, I wrote Wicker a hand-written note asking my question. Even now, I recall not expecting to ever get anything back and feeling a bit foolish about writing a man who, to me, was famous and important. Several weeks passed and much to my surprise came a letter to me with The New York Times return address on the envelope. I cautiously opened it and, sure enough, was a hand-written note back from Wicker with a brief answer to my question. I did not save the note, nor do I remember Wicker's exact words. But what has stayed with me all these years is the fact this nationally-renown writer took a few moments from his day to write me back. I remain very touched.

My memory of what Tom Wicker did reinforces the notion that even the simpliest acts of communication can sometimes really go a long way. To him, it probably took less than a minute and was quickly forgotten. But, to me, it has lasted most of a lifetime. The lesson I have taken from it is that as best we can we must take all of our acts of communication as seriously as possible because they can make a surprising difference to others. I never met Wicker in person, so I really do not know if he was a truly good man. Yet when I do think of him, that is how I imagine he was throughout his life: kind and thoughtful. At least that is how he was to me. And that is how I try to be when I communicate to others.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Staying Young

Let me see a show of hands. How many of us want to stay young? Just what I thought. We all do. We want to remain of sound body and mind, be able to kick up our heals from time to time, think deep thoughts and be able to articulate them when the occasion calls for it, and even have people tell us we look good without tacking on those three awful words: "for your age." Of course, it is one thing to want to remain young but another to actually do it, especially when aging is an indisputable law of nature, the existence of which no one disputes. Regular exercise, sound sleep, a healthy diet and remaining mentally active are among the ingredients hard science has identified as helping us remain vibrant both mentally and physically as we move past middle age.

As many non-scientists have their own theories on how to stay young, I would like to add mine to the list. I believe being a good communicator can help one keep a bounce in their step longer than they might otherwise. Good communication is more than just focusing one's own needs and goals at the exclusion of others. It involves developing and maintaining an outlook of inclusion. Also, it includes taking the insight you have gained from others and, with their assistance, coming up with ways to meld together yours and theirs in order to create a connection and mutual understanding. Looking beyond one's own interests and not allowing yourself to become insular in thinking and even action is the key.

This could very well be communication's great gift to us all. Communication pioneer Edward Bernays once described public relations as the act of creating an "harmonious adjustment" between different publics. Simply put, that can only be done if both parties have gathered solid information and understanding of another. To me, being an inclusive thinker is a better way of keeping one's mind and outlook positive and sharp. Granted, Father Time eventually takes over no matter what we do or what our outlook might be. But being the opposite of self-absorbed can certainly help make its inevitability less overwhelming and imposing.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Malthusian Trap

In the late 18th century political economist Thomas Robert Malthus set down a theory that said as population increases the availability of the basics of life, primarily food, would not be able to keep pace with the growing need for it. As a result, we as a species were doomed to experience never ending misery. This pessimistic perspective later became known as "The Malthusian Trap." As humans advance, they also increase the amount of suffering within their ranks. It is a kind of negative "circle of life"that did not bode well for mankind. This over 200-year-old theory continues to ring true in many the poorer parts of the world and our country, for that matter.

The basic premise put forth by Malthus remains provocative, particularly when applied to communication. Let me take a crack at applying what I will call the Malthus perspective to communication. The more our population increases the greater the need we have for effective communication; but the need for effective communication will not be able to be adequately met by the ever growing population. A growing population of individuals with their own need to be heard, to speak out and to properly connect with others will outpace whatever technological advances are made that attempt to foster greater communication.

This analogy does three things: it paints a bleak picture for us in terms of being able to connect with others in a meaningful way; it reveals a real challenge for us if we agree that effective communication is important and worth perserving; and it highlights a great opportunity for us to continue identifying ways in which we will be to practice two-way communication in our day-to-day lives. Thanks to social media and responses by traditional media to keep pace with it, efforts are already underway to help ensure our future is one of effective communication opportunities and channels. At the same time, growing pressures on us in such other areas as economics, the environment, education and world peace guarantees the balance between communication need and communication solution will continue to be at-risk.