New Digs

With age, at least for me, I have developed an ever-increasing awareness of how easy it is to settle into fixed routines. Examples might range from going to bed around the same time and eating the same food to reading the same type of books and mingling with the same type of people. While none of these habits are bad things, their collective danger - often invisible and odorless - is that they wrap persons of habit into a world of limited context, experience, knowledge-base and perspective. While appealing, their allure also carries the potential of limiting one's ability and even desire to communicate as well as they can.

As a person of many habits, I recognize the necessity of rattling one's own cage from time to time in order to impose a necessity to connect with others in ways unlike how one is or might be used to. Doing so helps keep our intellectual muscles sharp and flexible and slows down our eventual slide into stagnation. All this is to say that since my last blog entry, my wife and I have taken - for us - a major step outside our comfort zones. I have taken a four-month teaching assignment in Songdo, South Korea, literally across the world from our residence in Northern Virginia. Specifically, I am teaching several communication classes at George Mason University's campus in South Korea. My brave wife is sharing this adventure with me.

The still-new city of Songdo, then, is our new digs. Located next to the more established Incheon and approximately 60 miles north of Seoul, it is a clean and vibrant new locale. For us, this translates into new food choices, new acquaintances and friends, a new view outside our residential windows, and perhaps most importantly, the need to raise the bar on our communication skills. As of this writing, we are one week into this new adventure. I am happy to report that so far all is going well. For that to even come close to continuing, it is important we remain at or near the top of our communication game. Life calls for it. Life outside one's routine demands it.

I Don't Know

There is a line from an old song that says "Life is a stage and we are all unrehearsed." The older I get the more that resonates with me. The fact is the moment we are born, all of us are "on" but without the luxury of that comes with being in a play where we can practice our lines, throw out what does not work, and keep rehearsing until we are spot-on perfect. Each day we wake represents opening night where everything we say and do counts in big ways and small. There is no "do over." Instead, our options range from trial and error and making amends to building on what we have learned and simply doing the best we can.  


This is why each day represents a singular challenge that demands our best. Sadly, of course, our best is not always good enough. Situations arise and questions drop on our heads that leave us perplexed and anxious. Many years ago, for instance, when my daughter was a very little girl, she asked me if dolphins laugh. Had we rehearsed that, then I would have been able to respond with a wise and informative answer that encouraged her intellectual curiosity and reinforced her feeling safe to ask me anything she wanted. Instead, my response was an honest yet inadequate, "I don't know."  Often I think back on that moment and wish we could have done at least one more "take."


My sense is all of us have had moments like that sometime in our lives. Probably many of them. It is one of those commonalities that is universal. At the same time, it is one we do not acknowledge all that readily. In fact, we tend to pretend we rarely fall short in all that we say and do. That is unfortunate. As a result of honest and open communication, we as parents, leaders, citizens, neighbors, children, etc. would be so much better off if we were upfront and comfortable with our "I don't knows" than we are. So, on those days when asked a challenging question or faced with a daunting dilemma, we would be more at-ease in responding with a "Let's work on it together."   

Icarus

Icarus was a magnificent creature. He possessed a presence that was spell binding, looks to be envied and, of course, the ability to fly. Those fortunate to share his company, even from a distance or for a fleeting moment, considered themselves to be blessed. Icarus was aware of the admiration others had for him. He understood it, welcomed it, and believed it to be well-deserved. After all, who among all mortals would not wish to be Icarus?  But, then, there was that nagging entity the sun, the star that provided Earth with the sunlight it needed to survive. Could it be greater than Icarus? Others indicated that might be the case. Icarus, alas, believed otherwise.  


The famous poem, "The Fall of Icarus, depicts the tragedy of this gifted creature who let his ego get the best of him. It was not enough for him to be admired and acclaimed by many. Rather than maintain and enhance his reputation and use his notoriety to bring fortune to those who looked up him, instead, Icarus decided to build on what he felt to be his own greatness. He flew much too close to the sun which melted his beloved wings. The result is Icarus fell unceremoniously to his death.. Ironically and sadly, his passing went largely unnoticed. Life went on, the Earth continued to spin on its axis, and people turned to others to admire.


Recently, we have seen another creature of notoriety fly too close to the sun. This time it is Brian Williams, NBC's evening sun anchor. Williams was found to have falsified stories of his earlier coverage of conflict in the Middle East and the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina. The result is that he has been suspended for six months without pay. At present, the feeling is he may never return to the anchor desk. What has happened to Williams is one example of what often occurs when one places little value on what is true or places themselves above those with whom they communicate. Honest communication is nothing to be trifled with.

Word Collectors

Growing up, I used to collect comic books. My primary interest revolved ones involving super heroes. This is no doubt why today I have a soft spot for movies involving super heroes. Given that, I sometimes wonder if folks who used to or still do collect stamps would have a special affinity for any movies revolving stamp collecting. (It is very difficult to say, of course, since there do not seem to be any films on that particular hobby. Perhaps some day.)  As I aged, my interest in collecting comic books dwindled down to zero. While I may still read one form time to time, those collecting days are a thing of the past.


Since entering adulthood, the bulk of my time has revolved around the communication profession. In that ever-evolving world, I have taken on a new thing to collect: words. Whether it has been as a journalist, speech writing, teacher, author, public relations specialist or spokesman, the currency around which my efforts have revolved is the word. It has not mattered if the word is spoken or written, my quest has been driven by collecting as many as possible. The challenge has been in the collecting. In addition to that, of course, it has been centered on figuring how best to make use of the words I collect.


Serious word collecting is no small or even easy thing. While everyone does it to a certain extent since we need that unique symbol to connect with others and express ourselves, there is no question there are some word collectors who are better than others. To me, the elite of these folks are ones who not only have the most words at their finger tips, but are able to do the most effective job of weaving them into their day to day conversations and/or writings. These folks know the meaning and essence of the words they collect and are able to make the most use of them in order to connect with others and present their thoughts in a most clear manner. To those of us who are not part of that elite group, I say "keep collecting." All of us will be the better for it.     

Easy Versus Best

Is there any one who does not think washers and dryers are great? If you have dirty clothes, sheets or towels, you simply plop them into the washer to be cleaned and then into the dryer to be made warm and - presto - it is all done. And, for many, one does not even have to leave their zone to make this happen. Microwave ovens are great, too. If you want something heated up quickly, then you slide it into the microwave, push a few buttons and in a just few seconds or minutes you are sipping on a warm drink or perhaps even enjoying dinner. One would be hard-pressed to come up with items that help make life easier for us than those innovations.


The good news is that mankind deserves a pat on the back for coming up with washers, dryers, microwave ovens, and their many "cousins" that, collectively, add enormously to our comfort level. They represent the degree of creativity and ingenuity of  which men and women are capable of achieving as a way of enhancing the quality of our lives. Computers, of course, such as the one on which I am currently working are another example. Not only are they superb tools, but they sure make communicating so much easier than the days when we largely relied upon having to make physical contact with another as the primary way we could connect with others.


At least in the realm of communication, however, there is a downside to such innovations as computers. More and more, in-person interactions seem to be taking a backseat  to the convenience of simply emailing or texting another. Why bother getting dressed and driving to a different location to see someone when can quickly send them a message - and get a response - without ever leaving your house? Who can blame anyone for choosing that easier path? At the same time, however, it is vital that all of us remember the easiest path is not always the best. It is important we not give ourselves over completely to what is most convenient. Effective communicating in the form of direct interaction is nothing to comprise.

Adversity

How great would the world be if everything went our way? In a word, it would be "awesome." Imagine: how ever we wanted things to go, then that's how they would go. Such a reality would add a new dimension to the word "bliss." Of course, sadly, such a world is not real. At best, it is a fantasy. In the so-called "real world," no one gets their way all the time. Consequently, set backs, unexpected turns, disappointments, conflict, and missteps are a regular of the day for each of us. Given that, it explains why those moments when things actually do turn out the way we want are as satisfying and joyful as they are.


In this regard, communication is not all that different from life itself. In our efforts to connect with others and/or put forward messages for public consumption, not everything goes as well or smoothly as we might like. This is a truism I have touched on before. It is also one that cannot be said often enough. Regardless of how well crafted a message is or how articulate we might be in our exchanges with others, things rarely turn as out as well as we wish. Those with whom we interact have their own perspectives and messages. Further, our output is far from the only one designed to grab the attention of others. Bottom line: in the area of communication, as much can not work out as can.


It has often been said that one measure of a person's character is how they contend with adversity or setbacks. Such is also a viable yardstick to measure the quality of those that communicate for a living. Professional communicators are agents of life. Their job is to help establish and maintain ties between individuals and various publics. Given that not everything goes as well as we might wish, particularly in the realm of communication, how effective are these men and women when it comes to devising alternative outreach plans? To be successful, those who communicate professionally require as much character as any one else coping with the challenges of life.

Jumping Rope

Over the years, when it comes to jumping rope, I always thought the main two groups of people who did that were little girls and boxers. Even though I am neither, I have just recently started giving this activity a try. The good news is I am quickly learning that it is a great form of exercise. The not-so-good news is I am particularly proficient at it. In fact, I am pretty bad. My biggest challenge is establishing and then maintaining a rhythm to the actual rope jumping. Never mind doing it for a sustained period of time. First comes the jump and then then the duration. Even though I do not see myself ever becoming as skilled as little girls or boxers, hopefully I will eventually become moderately proficient at it.


Right now, my rope jumping has a lot of stops and starts. I jump the rope for a few times and then it hits against my feet and I have stop start all over again. Such a dynamic is not all that different from communication. We talk with others and in doing so experience many stops and starts. The other person asks questions. They inject their own comments. Outside noise interrupts the flow of our exchange. Or even get distracted and with little warning change topics. It is no wonder - much like jumping rope - communication is one of those activities that requires lots of practice, patience and commitment.


I must say the more I try jumping rope the more impressed I am becoming with folks who do it very well. There are those at the gym I go to who are quite wonderful at it. I want to be like them. I also want to become like those who seem to engage with others with few stops and starts; or, at the least, who do not seem to be knocked off balance when their interactions are interrupted. Communication, much like jumping rope, has its own rhythm. But that does not happen all by itself. The two, I am convinced, require much practice. Yes,, it is hard work, but, boy, the pay off is worth the considerable effort.