Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Deficit Communication

Not a day passes when all of us do not receive a direct or indirect reminder of some sort of the economic challenges that we as individuals currently face. Because of the enormous debt that our nation has run up over the past 20-30 years, all of us are confronting and, in some cases, being confronted by the harsh reality that being fiscally irresponsible has serious and even debilitating consequences. Spending and saving need to be in sync. Doing lots of spending without comparable saving puts anyone - and any nation for that matter - on a slippery slope that does not lead to anything good. The same is true when one partakes in irresponsible communication. Specifically, when one talks at more than they talk with others, then the results can and often do range from rejection, misunderstandings, and a life filled with doing little else but taking one step forward and two steps back.

I ran across a good example of this kind of deficit communication not too long ago while reading some articles about President Woodrow Wilson and his vision of the League of Nations. While today such an organization may seem a bit passe, at the time the world had never known such an entity. It was Wilson's dream to create a body comprised of nations throughout the world that would gather to discuss issues of mutual concern and, most importantly, seek ways to avoid war and conflict. At least in theory, the United Nations fits this bill today. Wilson pushed the concept of a world body very hard. Unfortunately, in doing so, the well-meaning former university president and scholar failed to appreciate that others might have different perspectives about such an organization and, therefore, have a need to raise questions and discuss them before giving this proposal and Wilson their support. Wilson assumed the mere articulation of his vision would be enough to satisfy any concerns others might have. The result of this unfortunate assumption, as we know, was that the United States Senate failed to give Wilson the approval needed to allow our country to become a member of the League of Nations. It is a decision that in all likelihood would not have happened if Wilson had made as much of an effort to listen as he did to talk.

Every day are checkbooks, savings accounts and even our wallets give us a sense of how we are doing in balancing what we spend with what we save. Granted, particularly in these times of so much economic uncertainty and instability, such a balance is difficult to achieve. At the same time, it is a goal that all of us, including our elected officials, need to continue to pursue. The same holds true for communicate. It is advisable not to speak unless one has saved or collected input in the form of gathering information and learning other perspectives. The better one listens or saves information, the more apt they are to be heard and followed when they do speak. Much like balancing a checkbook, it is simple math.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Contending With Noise

No one wants to be compared with the Grinch, especially how he is when he is first introduced by Dr. Seuss. He is mean, selfish, bitter, and nasty. He paces back and forth and spews his frustration at the town of Whoville and its residents. His biggest source of frustration is the "noise, noise, noise" that comes from Whoville. Noise is a source of frustration for many of us as well. For us, of course, noise is everywhere. And particularly with the rise of social media, it comes at us from all different angles at all times of the day and night. The Grinch simply wants the noise to stop. Our situation is a bit more complex. On the one hand, we have the daily challenge of distinguishing between what is nonsense and what is worth hearing. On the other, we, too, want to be heard but we realize contending with all that other noise makes our need to connect with others much more difficult. These twin communication challenges are made even trickier by the reality that most everyone else faces the same frustrations and challenges. At times, it's enough to turn us all into Grinches.

But because communication is the ultimate connector, the challenge of noise is one that cannot be ignored or put off. The successful navigation of noise can help us as individuals achieve a greater sense of fulfillment and better position ourselves to gain success - however we might define it. Fortunately, those twin challenges are related and, as a result, can be faced as a package. Firstly, figuring out what noise is nonsense and what is relevant to our own ambitions, values, and personal growth speaks to the necessity of knowing ourselves; that, is, having a strong sense of who we are and what it is we wish impart to others. I realize developing this fundamental knowledge is a lifetime challenge. It starts with exposing ourselves to as much noise as possible. (Sorry Grinch.) Then, with the help of those we trust and admire, by using the benchmarks of identifying how it is we we wish to be perceived, how it is we wish to conduct ourselves, and what it is we wish to share with others, we can begin separating the nonsense from the meaningful. Word of caution: we will never totally rid ourselves from nonsense. And that's a good thing because this awareness helps solidify our own sense of self.

Secondly, there is the matter of connecting with others. Once you have a good sense of what it is you wish to impart and/or share with others, then you need to prioritize who those "others" are. Family? Friends? Co-workers? Potential customers? Who are these people? What are their interests, needs and wishes? How do they collect information? The more you learn about others the better able you will be to connect with them. Generally, this requires establishing a balance between being self-focused and other-focused. Granted, achievcing this balance is not always easy to attain and maintain, but it can be done. The better able you are to hit that particular bullseye, then the better able you will be like the Grinch was at the end of his story - in greater harmony with yourself and with those around you.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Lots of Noise

In many ways, we are in the age of communication. As individuals and as a society, never before have we had so many ways to communicate with one another. And, not surprisingly, never before have we as individuals and as a society communicated with each other in so many different ways. As a result, we have never enjoyed a time in history that is more enlightening and liberating. The fact that a person like me with no cultural notoriety or massive following can potentially reach thousands and even millions of people throughout the world through one blog is a tiny example of how communication has transcended pre-existing national and international technical and political barriers and is now enabling men and women of all ages to be heard, reach out, and make connections.

The result is lots of people, famous and unknown, are doing just that. People have been given a voice like never before. Once, chewing the fat with a neighbor was a big deal. Today, one can just as easily gossip with a person who lives on the opposite side of the planet and even develop as close of a connection with that person as they can with their neighbor who lives next door. In many ways, this new reality represents communication as its best. At the same time, however, because more and more people are becoming active players in the communication age, the noise level in the world has risen dramatically. Lots of people are "talking" via the Internet, their cell phones and other communication tools. But has what I call the listening level kept pace with all this increased talking?

The higher the noise level the harder it is for any of us to adequately tune in, appreciate and understand what is being said to us and around us. With the increased amount noise throughout the world there comes a greater burden on our shoulders to be better listeners. This is a good thing, but it is also not an easy challenge to assume. Think of any child that learns to speak. Is there anything they would rather do than talk, talk, talk? It is only through patience, time and trial and error that they are taught the value of being able to listen as well as talk. This, I believe, is where we as individuals are in this new age of communication. We are learning to talk like never before and it is wonderful to the point of making one feel dizzy. The time is now for the other half of communication - listening - is be joined with the first half. Once brought together, it will help raise the level of communicating to heights we as citizens of the world have never known. It will also make the increased noise level not seem so imposing.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

One Size Fits All

It is easy to overlook in these times of much talk of organizations, corporations, conglomerates, government agencies, and even governments themselves that entities are comprised of people; individuals with their own needs, biases, hopes, insecurities, and visions. No matter whether these men and women are in leadership positions or are part of the support staff, they share a desire to be part of a communication network that enables them to maintain a connection with those who are around them and others who share their professional and possibly even personal interests. Bosses want to be heard, know their directives and messages are being communicated, and be aware of questions and concerns those under them might have. And those who do report to those managers, directors and executives want to feel appreciated, have a sense that their efforts are making a positive difference, and be secure that any questions, suggestions or good-faith criticisms they might have can be made without fear of reprisal.

What I consider to be these fundamental needs that superiors and subordinates within any entity possess are not all that different. They speak to each person's desire to have a positive sense of self and need to be connected to others. Good communication can address those needs that organizational members at all levels have. In a sense, communication really is a one-size-fits-all commodity. The primary difference is that at times people like to be communicated with in specific ways that may vary from the manner in which others might like to be communicated. Additionally, the way the organizational members may wish to communicate with others might vary from time-to-time as well. This speaks to the logistical challenges that often fall into the lap of the communication professionals.

Every so often, people at all levels of an organization question their sense of self and wonder whether they are as connected to others as much as they need or want to be. These feelings of doubt come with being human. Those occasional bouts of melancholy may never vanish completely for any of us, but they can be dealt with more easily via the well-placed, well-timed and sincere communique from others and from viable opportunities that allow all of us to be heard as well. Not only does communication get us through our days, but, which needed, it can also help us rise above them.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Tie That Binds

Today is Father's Day. It is the 28th one of my life. I have a daughter who made me a Dad back in 1980. Not surprisingly, my thoughts today revolve around this miracle who entered the world at 5:14 p.m. on a Friday afternoon in late July. In terms of life priorities, she was very much a game changer for me. And the truth be told, in many ways she remains so. If ever there are two people who are "joined at the hip" in life, it is a parent and child. Good times and bad, the two possess a bond that is ever lasting and unique to them. But as it with any other relationship, the bond is only as strong as how well they communicate.

When it comes to communication, there is nothing more fundamental than what occurs between two individuals. How well do they connect? Is the dialogue that goes on between them respectful, flowing and honest? Does genuine listening take place? Does the exchange lead the way to future exchanges? These basic questions are as equally applicable to the parent-child connection as they are to any other, including one between husband and wife, two friends and even two co-workers. People have feelings, perspectives and a need for inclusion, elements that must be part of the communication mix. For the connection between the two people to have firm roots, their efforts to communicate must be genuine. A lack of sincerity results in a weak foundation. As any builder can testify, anything with a weak foundation will not last.

This takes me back to Father's Day. Thankfully, the foundation between my daughter and I is strong. If it weren't, then the occasional bumps in our relationship that we have had over the years would have been a lot more significant than they were. This, in fact, is one important lesson my daughter has been teaching me for almost 29 years now. Nothing remains viable and strong without communication. Mistakes can occur. Misunderstandings can happen. But as long as efforts from both parties to keep the connection open continue, then the relationship will endure and even flourish. This is the great gift of communication. It is a tie that binds.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Dealing With Yelling

Have you ever seen two people get into a yelling match? In raised voices thta erupt at the same time, the participants both send verbal shots across each others' bow in a non-stop, rapid-fire fury. Then, in what is maybe seconds or minutes later, the two stop to take a few moments to catch their breath, glare at the other, and reload with more verbal rockets to launch. Then, like a bunch of turkeys in a pen, they erupt with more gobbling. As an observer, it does not too long before you begin losing track of what each person is actually saying because they keep talking over the other. If nothing else, there is one guaranteed result that emerges from this not-so-pretty scenario: both people walk away feeling more frustrated than they were before it started. The reason for this, of course, is quite simple. Nothing was resolved. After all that verbal jousting, yelling and heated energy, whatever problem or misunderstanding that triggered this dual in the first place has been made worse.

The reason for this is equally as simple: neither party was listening to the other. Instead, they were too focused on getting things off their chest. Unfortunately, because of the heat of the moment, their desire to score verbal points was so intense they were blind to the fact the person they most wanted to hear their points was not listening because that person was also too intent on getting their own points across. The results: lots of yelling, lots of emotion, and increased hard feelings. None of these ingredients come any where close to being what is needed to obtain a positive resolution.

If you have never actually witnessed this kind of confrontation between family members or friends, then check out many of the so-called news talk shows on commercial and cable television these days and you before too long you will see this kind of verbal dance played out right there in living color. At first, you may find it be amusing or even entertaining. But I guarantee that initial reaction will quickly change into one of frustration and possibly even disgust. Very little, if anything, that is informative or enlightening comes from a confrontation of this nature. The punch line to this blog is this: Whether we are participants in such a confrontation or witness to one, there is one solution that is as timeless as it is unbeatable. For any of you who right now are thinking "listening," then you, my friends, may go directly to the head of the class. Listening is the one aspect of effective communication that, better than any other, takes the air out of negative feelings and, ultimately, leads to mutual understanding, and consensus. It also, by the way, might actually make some of those annoying news talk shows more bearable.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

A Team Sport

How many people remember the old television show "The Lone Ranger"? I sure do. Without question my favorite part of the show was the very beginning when, with Rossini's William Tell Overture in the background, he lets out with his famous "Hi Ho, Silver, away!" This cowboy dressed in white, yet wore a black mask under the guise of doing good, saving the day, defeating bad guys, etc. without need for recognition or personal benefit. What could be more admirable than that? But the funny thing about this lone do-gooder was that he really was not so alone. He had his "loyal, trusted Indian companion, Tonto."

As it turned out, doing good required more than the actions of a single person. The Lone Ranger needed his friend and side kick to rescue those in distress, fight evil, and generally plan out their strategies. The Lone Ranger and Tonto demonstrated that actions of any kind require more than one. The same is true of communication. One is not a good or even bad communicator by themselves. People do not communicate in a vacuum or in isolation. In other words, if someone is standing alone in a forest and starts to talk out loud, can that be labeled as communication? My answer is "no" because there is no public to receive the message or to provide feedback.

Communication is a team sport. Its very nature demands attempts to connect with others. Of course, how sincere, how well thought out and how encompassing that outreach might be collectively determine the quality of both the communicator and the act of communication. Nevertheless, communication is an act of inclusiveness. It represents an outreach toward others and, ideally, a willingness to have others reach back to you. This is not a bad thing. The Lone Ranger needed Tonto in order to fulfill his dream of helping others. We, too, need others in order to fulfill our particular dreams. And, to complete the circle, we are needed by others in order for them to fulfill theirs. It can only be done through communication.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Purpose of Communication

Every once in a while I find myself contemplating what I call larger than life questions. They range from "Is there life on other planets?" and "What is life?" to "Is there life after death?" and "Will I ever learn to balance my checkbook?" For me, at least, there is no answer to those questions, especially, I am embarrassed to admit, that last one. (But I am happy to report that I am a lot better at it than I used to be.) Another one of those kind of questions I have been wrestling with lately revolves around the purpose of communication. What is it? Fortunately, for decades now a number of eminent scholars have been examining this particular question as well. My interpretation of their work boils down to the conclusion that one key purpose of communication is two-old: to inform and to be informed.

On the one hand, there are those who want to let others know what they are thinking, wanting, feeling, selling, doing, etc. And on the other hand, there are those who want to know what others are thinking, wanting, selling, doing, etc. On the surface, these are two different kinds of people or communicators. Yet, more often than not, those seemingly opposite people with their different purposes for communicating actually represent the desires of the same person. You and me. We all go through our personal and professional lives in which we communicate with others with these dual purposes that are often dictated by what we are doing, who we are with, and the goals that happen to be before us at that time.

It is a combination of the two purposes that creates a dialog or what many, including me, view as being the most effective form of communication. An exchange of information, thoughts, feelings, activities, etc. helps people and publics make a connection that leads to greater understanding, possible unity, deeper appreciation and lasting awareness. It is the best communicators who understand that those two-fold purposes of informing and being informed go hand-in-hand and must be part of every effort to reach-out to another or to others. This seems simple enough, yet we only have to look at the many missed signals and misunderstandings that occur in our own lives and in the world around us to see how often the two-fold purpose of communication is ignored.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

News Coverage and Social Media

One of my favorite things to do is read a newspaper. I like the wide breath of stories most newspapers provide. The edition I read this morning, for instance, provided a profile on the latest Supreme Court nominee, a recap of the 65th anniversary celebration of D-Day, an analysis of the race for the Democratic nomination to be the next governor of Virginia, an update on needed highway construction, and a preview of upcoming summer movies. And that is just a small sampling of the hundreds of stories that comprised this particular issue. Generally, the stories were interesting, well-written, and informative. They reinforced my notion that I would be hard-pressed to remember one time when I put down a newspaper when I did not feel a bit more enlightened than I was before I read it.

Yet even as a satisfied customer, I am not concerned at the possibility that the emergence of blogs, new websites, twitter and the many other forms of social media will force newspapers to reshape how they do what they do. When it comes to how news is reported, change is afoot and that is not a bad thing. I do not see the coverage of news going away just as I do not see the interest people have in learning about what is going on in their neighborhoods, states, countries and world as subsiding either. There will always be room for journalists that provide us with hard and soft news. Social media is not going to change that. But what social media is going to do is force newspapers to undergo a major alteration in how they present information to us. A quick example of that is the fact that more newspapers are placing greater emphasis on their on-line editions than they are on their more traditional print versions.

If all goes well, this transition will result in a more engaged audience for newspapers. Readers will have greater opportunities to react to stories they read, feel strongly about, and can relate to. Further, they will even be able to engage in a dialogue with the reporters and, more and more, with newsmakers themselves. It is the rise of social media that is and will be making this happen. As a result, there is great potential for a more enlightened and engaged general public. Such a phenomenon can only enhance communication in our society as we know it. Greater communication is a key to our well being as individuals and to our overall society.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Journalists, PR Officers and Social Media

Don't look now but there is new sheriff in town and it is called social media. Traditional ways of connecting inside and outside the field of communication such as press releases, memos to the staff, letters to friends and simple phone calls - to name a few - are being dropped into a giant blender and shaken and stirred like never before. We do not know how they are they are going to turn out when the blender switch is turned off, but, assuming they even survive, it is a safe bet they will not be the same. I believe a greater need and desire for interaction on the part of the users of social media is what is driving this revolution. People still hunger for information, but now they want to be able to talk about it, critique it, share it, and play a more active role in the entire exchange process. As a result, new communication vehicles such as twitter, facebook, text messages and blogs are very much takign over the neighborhood.

Even now, one long-standing relationship in professional communication is beginning to feel the impact of this revolution. I am talking about journalists and public relations officers. For well over a half century practitioners in each field have co-existed half begrudgingly at best. Conventional wisdom perceives journalists as seekers of the let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may truth while public relations types are on-hand to promote their client and, in doing so, work closely with reporters in shaping stories to reflect specific facts and perspectives. In today's world, what has emerged is a codependent relationship where their working together has become much more routine than not. I will leave to another entry the question of whether this is a positive or negative turn of events, but either way it is a reality of our times.

Journalists and public relations officers will continue to work together. Each will remain dependent on the other to communicate their stories and messages. But the debate as to which profession needs the other the most is quickly becoming irrelevant. The emergence of social media is replacing that question with a bigger one: What can journalists and public relations officers be doing to remain connected to their audiences? Readers and viewers and listeners want greater involvement and interaction. Journalists and public relations officers are going to have to figure out how best to tap into this trend. As a result, rightly or not, the two may find they need each other more than ever.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Taking Responsibility

As it is with so much else in life, communication brings with it its own baggage. Specifically, once one enters into any kind of sustained communication with someone else or with another public, then you are sharing the reigns of responsibility that you are going to make that interaction work. An example can be found at the beginning of a potentially special relationship to which you commit yourself. When you meet a guy or gal with whom you want to be with and, by some miracle, they want to be with you, there are some fundamental questions that in all probability run through your head. What are that person's interests? What are their likes and dislikes? Do they have any concerns from previous relationships? Do they, by chance, have any issues with me or is there any part of my history that needs to be addressed? These kind of questions are essential as they represent jumping off points to the construction of what can be a sustained bridge between you and that other person. If you seriously begin taking steps to answer these questions, then you are at the beginning stages of taking responsibility for helping make the communication between the two of you effective and successful.

This little scenario, of course, speaks to a one-on-one connection between individuals. But it can and should also apply to outreach efforts involving various entities. A great example of this is happening on the international front right now. Specifically, President Obama is set to make an important speech in Egypt in which he is going to address the relationship between our country and the countries in that part of the world as well as his vision of how he wishes to see our ties with them progress. While I do not know specifically what he is going to say, I do know the mere fact he is giving this largely unprecedented speech represents his willingness to take responsibility for the success of our country's relationships with that part of the world.

Make no mistake, that responsibility must be shared. Its success, as it is with two people, depends upon the good-faith efforts of both parties. Hopefully they will respond in kind. If they do, then this will be an extremely positive turn of events. But a word of caution: even when the parties agree to accept responsibility for the welfare of their relationship, it in no way means there will not be bumps in the road, missteps, or misunderstandings. Believe me, there will be. But the good news is a joint commmitment to communicate is the best answer to those unwanted turns in the road. It does not guarantee answers to tough questions or problems, but without communication there is no way any issues or concerns will be addressed in a meaningful way.