More on the Truth

My most recent blog entry focused on my concern for the future of truth in our country. In it, I pointed a finger at President Trump who these days seems to lie most every time he opens his mouth. I suggested because of the position he holds, Trump is a major contributor to the trend that being honest or telling truths is not nearly as important as it used to be. Instead, increasingly people seem to behave as if they have their own truths, thus making it all the more difficult for us to discuss issues since no one seems to agree upon basic facts. Despite the fact he has been President for nearly three years, a sizable portion of the population continues to assume so much of what he says is true simply because he holds the most revered office in our land.

Coincidentally, the same day as my blog the executive editors of The New York Times and The Washington Post were interviewed on NBC's Meet the Press. The topic was the same as what I wrote about in my blog. This does not make me any kind of genius or particularly smart-guy. Rather, it suggests that others share my concern. Those executive editors - Dean Baquet of The New York Times and Martin Baron of The Washington Post - are professional communicators. How well they and their papers adhere to the truth determines their success and credibility. Consequently, they take truth-telling as seriously as anyone.

Reputable media outlets such as the New York Times and Washington Post are not in the business of "spin." They exist to inform and enlighten. Ideally, they make it possible for the rest of us to let loose with our opinions when talking with friends and family. Generally, we base our views on the facts as presented to us by an array of sources, including reputable media outlets. But when the so-called sources such as the President of the United States do not communicate in a reputable way, then it leads to a breakdown in effective and respectful communication. It is going to be interesting to see whether this trend of playing loose with the truth continues in 2020. Hopefully the pendulum will swing in a much healthier direction. Whether it does, of course, is up to all of us.   

Moving into an Important Year

2019 is rapidly drawing to a close. With that, there is the irresistible temptation to summarize these past 12 months. For me, though there are just three days to go before 2020 steps front-and-center, I still feel too-close to 2019 to give it what I would view as a proper analysis. Given that, I will say one major concern that I have about this year and one that I will be carrying into the next revolves around a major aspect of communication: honesty. The truth. Without question, it has been very much under siege this year.

I readily concede this trend is something in which all of us share a level of responsibility. However, the bulk of the responsibility falls at the feet of the one with the loudest and most-listened to voice. Yes, I am talking about our President. His disdain for the truth is unprecedented. Unmatched. While our country has certainly had dishonest presidents in the past, we have experienced nothing like Trump. According to The Washington Post, since assuming office in 2017, he has told over 15,000 lies. Some even call him the Liar-in-Chief. Putting aside whatever psychological reasons there are for his pathological behavior, the fact is his dishonesty is having a significant impact on the country, particularly those that support him.

Whether his supporters include individuals, other elected officials or the media, the fact Trump cares little for being honest, then such behavior emboldens those that seek to back him up. Often they echo his falsehoods or, at the very least, ignore them. Week-after-week this past year this dynamic has carried on. As a result, what is true has not been standing on firm ground for far too long. Moving into the next 12 months, the act of being honest seems to no longer be as clear-cut as it used to be. This is why I see 2020 as being pivotal when it comes to the truth. This time next year the truth will either be totally knocked for a loop or back on its feet. No question, 2020 is going to be important.

"Variable Winds"

It was to be his final voyage. With his ship moving at full speed and in the proper direction, in 1872 boatman Charles Porter Low wrote, in part, "One who loves the sailing of a ship is always watching for the wind to blow and the wind is never in the same quarter for any length of time.........but in the variable winds, you must have everything ready for bad weather at any time." This wise observation is as applicable today as it was nearly 150 years ago. To paraphrase the full quote from Low, life can go smoothly at times but one must never stop preparing for unexpected turns, particularly ones that force unwanted adjustments and untimely setbacks.

How many times have all of us had plans at work or at home only to have unexpected circumstances occur that cause what we have so carefully set forth go up in smoke? While I have no precise answer to that, without question the number is extremely high. The unexpected represents the essence of life as does the reality that one's path in life is never a straight journey. One variable that helps define our level of success in life, regardless of what role it might be, is how well we have prepared ourselves for the unexpected. How well are we prepared if our child gets sick? How well are we prepared if our car has a flat tire? How well are we prepared if we are laid off from our job? 

Is there a profession or act to which Low's observation applies more than communication? I think not. So many of our days involve attempts to connect with another and then maintain that connection. That two-fold goal encapsulates public relations The PR worker is hired to devise strategies designed to generate the support of others: vote for a candidate, be loyal to a product or even support a cause. Game plans such as these can seem like sure-fire things. But then life in the form of the unexpected - "variable winds" - can insert itself and suddenly the plans are no longer viable or worth following. The better able the professional communicator makes allowance for them, the better able they are to serve their client.

Ida Tarbell

When it comes to solid writing and reporting, one of the very best magazines in the history of print journalism was "McClure's." Created by S.S. McClure in the late 1800s, at its peak it boasted an all-star team of writers on its payroll, including folks like Lincoln Steffins, William Allen White, and Ray Stannard Baker. Rounding out that "Murderer's Row" was Ida Tarbell. For starters, having a female do this kind of work tipped the scales in the "no way" category. But with the fact that Tarbell was an outstanding writer, relentless reporter and absolutely fearless when it came to tackling tough topics, her mere existence added all kind of layers to the term "unique."

A great example of Tarbell's doggedness was her series of stories on Standard Oil run by the powerful J.D, Rockefeller. Even her own father, according to Liza Mundy in the January 2020 issue of The Atlantic, pleaded with his daughter, "Don't do it, Ida." He feared Rockefeller would destroy her career. Of course, Tarbell did "do it." She observed the financial titan up close, uncovered a number of court filings against him and even interviewed his close associates.  The result was she shed light on secret deals Standard Oil had made with major railroad companies that ultimately led to the break up of this oil company's monopoly.   

Tarbell is worth remembering because of her uncompromising devotion to truth. Her efforts helped usher in industrial and economic reform in what historians call the Progressive Era, according to Smithsonian magazine. Not just wanna-be reporters, but even folks hoping to pursue careers in public relations should take note of Tarbell. As a professional communicator, she believed in facts and letting them dictate the essence of what she put forth in her writings. Truth is all the spin any and all professional communicators should need. Tarbell is a reminder that one can promote and attempt to sway others on the wings of truth rather deception.  

The Ultimate Non-Absolute

How do I define "absolute?" Easy. It is an act or truism where there is no room for doubt or misinterpretation. For instance, if one jumps naked into a swimming pool filled with water, the fact that they will get wet is an absolute. Punching someone in the nose is an absolute in that it is direct and an act of aggression. The age-old mathematical equation of 2 + 2 = 4 is an absolute. Adding those particular numbers and getting that result is an absolute because there can be no other answer. The great thing about absolutes is that they are so easy and rarely, if ever, generate conflict. They are universally accepted.

That means everything else that is not an absolute is subject to debate, possible conflict, and an array of interpretations. You wanna know a perfect example of something that is a non-absolute? Here goes: communication. It, you might say, is the ultimate non-absolute. Rarely does an attempt by one to connect with another result in unanimous interpretation. Here's an example: A husband wants to recognize his wife's birthday so he decides to buy her a dozen red roses. Surely anyone looking at such an act would view that as being a loving and selfless gesture. Not necessarily. Suppose the wife is allergic to flowers? Or suppose she does not like receiving flowers of any kind because of their limited lifespan? These variables raise questions about the purity of the husband's act.

With any act of communication comes multiple perspectives. Multiple perspectives lead to conversations that include disagreement and possible conflicting justifications, mistrust, and even lasting hard feelings. That communication is an non-absolute makes it an ongoing challenge for all of us simply because of the absolute that each of us communicates all the time, every day of our lives. Interestingly, this does not mean we communicate poorly. Rather, our acts of communication are never not subject to a multitude of interpretations.

A Quick Look at Progress

Progress is an interesting phenomenon. Often times, it seems so slow as to be imperceptible. Then, upon further inspection, the forward movement seems quite profound. Back in the 1800s, international trade was made possible by, at the time, traditional, slow-moving ships. These vessels, generally, were sturdy, yet built more for endurance rather than speed. They were the "norm" when it came to moving goods from one continent to another. Around 1840, clipper ships were introduced by a handful of American entrepreneurs who believed speed was the key to enabling them to significantly increase their profit margin in the trade business. They were right. Their vision proved to be one major reason why the United States became a major player on the international scene.

In terms of advancement, clipper ships were not unlike the telegraph. This revolutionary communication device made it possible for information to be shared in rapid-time like never before. Rather than having to wait for weeks or even months before learning of some major development such as the result of a presidential election or conflict between warring countries, the telegraph enabled folks to be updated on regional or even national happenings in quick-time. The telegraph was an amazing technological advancement that helped bring people from various geographic locations much closer together. The same was true of the clipper ship.

What these two innovations had in common was the fact they introduced speed to the populace. Because of them, people could receive needed goods just as they could receive desired and useful information much more quickly. As we now know, there was no turning back once these forms of progress were introduced. We also know, however, neither one eliminated conflict or disputes between peoples and/or nations. Progress, though welcomed, does not always and automatically mean greater congeniality or smoother collaboration.  

Magellan's End

The year was 1520 and Ferdinand Magellan and his fleet were well into their search for the Spice Islands and riches for Spain. At this point, after enduring much hardship and loss of life, the fleet had made it to the Pacific Ocean and was beginning to explore a number of small islands and the people that populated them. As a representative of the King of Spain and the country's hardline, uncompromising devotion to Christianity, Magellan saw his mission as being more than collecting riches for the "home team." He also believed it vital that he convert as many natives to Christianity as possible. This led to his ultimate undoing.

Coming up against the island of Mactan's chieftain Lapu Lapu, the two quickly found themselves to have opposing agendas. From Lapu Lapu's perspective, he simply wanted to ensure the Spaniards had a successful visit while Magellan wanted more: the conversion of the natives and to display the power of Spain by forcing themselves on the various villages in which the people lived. Not surprisingly, the two leaders butted head and violence ensued. It was here where Magellan met his end; here where this famous explorer suffered a violent and, to many, unnecessary death. As a result, Magellan himself never circumvented the world though a number of his crew members did.

Lapu Lap and Magellan failed to communicate effectively with each other. Both were stubborn men who were too headstrong to appreciate the other's perspective. Consequently, whatever listening either one did was not active. Both men went into their encounters with a focus on their own goals and/or desires. They had no room for anyone else's. Battle lines were drawn and before one could say "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain," fighting broke out and Magellan and several of his men were dead. The tragedy of this incident is but one of many examples of how failing to actively listen can have sad and unfortunate consequences.         . 

"You Gotta Want It"

Several years ago my one of my cousins and I drove to Vermont to do some hiking. We were looking to enjoy the White Mountains. We had a specific starting point in mind that turned out to be very much off the beaten-track. Looking back, it felt as if we spent more time looking for that place to park our car then we did on the actual hike. Driving around, I remember a comment my cousin made about the difficulty of beginning our planned excursion: "Boy, you really gotta want it." He was right. We did want it though I admit we were both fairly frustrated at the unexpected difficulty of reaching our destination.

In many ways, I think his comment can be applied to communicating effectively. You really do "gotta want it" if you are going to come even close to doing it consistently well over a sustained period of time. As was the case of our trying to find the lot for our car, interacting with another in a way that fosters free-flowing conversation and mutual understanding can be more challenging than one might expect. For instance, there is the matter of introducing information in a manner that is of interest to the other party. On the flip side, that other party needs to put aside distractions such as their cellphone or outside noises and listen actively.

Granted, this dynamic is routine as it is what occurs in every-day, casual conversations in which all of us take part. But that is only kind of interaction. Another category revolves around encounters that are more serious than simply commenting on the weather or the fortunes of the local sports team. Married couples have serious matters to discuss such as their finances or dealing with their children. People on the job have issues to cover that can and often do affect profits, customer relations, and their own security. To ensure these interactions are effective, all participants really do have to commit themselves to its success. Effective communicating requires nothing less.   

The Best Policy

How many times have all of us been told that "honesty is the best policy?" Whatever the number might be, my guess is it awfully close to the number of times we as adults have shared that axiom with our children. We seek to drive home the meaning of this statement because we believe it to be true. As a result, we want those who follow, including our children, to believe it, too. We want them to practice it and use it as a North Star in their own lives as they contend with life's challenges. No matter the circumstances, we want them to be honest and align themselves to all that is true regardless of how difficult it may be at times.

I express all this fully aware of the irony in which it is steeped. Let me explain. Communication represents the act of exchange with another via verbal and/or non-verbal actions. It can be done in a number of way, including words, spoken or written, facial expressions, or gestures. The act of public relations adds a layer to such a perspective in that it represents communication with a specific purpose. Generally, this purpose can be to persuade, inform, influence, or alter another's attitude. Given that, does communication or public relations need honesty to occur or, perhaps more to the point, be effective?

The answer to that is "no." Liars can be just as effective in their attempts to communicate as tellers of the truth. Perhaps even more so. In the realm of public relations, putting forth falsehoods is an effective way to sway others. Without question, this is most unfortunate. What is also sadly true is that efforts to purposely deceive or mislead occur all the time in our world. At times, even folks who are genuinely honest contribute to that reality. All of us, including those who are not what I term "professional communicators," need to continue clinging to that age-old best policy: honesty. It is the only way to ensure our acts of communication are as good as they should be.  

Thinking the Best of the Other

Thanksgiving 2019 is now in the history books. Some of my friends and family attended big shindigs while others spent the day in a  more low-key way. For my wife and I, the day was very much in the latter category. Just the two of us. Nevertheless, it was a special day for us as we made a point of giving each other appreciations for us as life-partners and for so many aspects of our lives as well. (One of those aspects for me did not include the extra pounds I have put on lately. But you can bet I will appreciate them the moment I get rid of them.) Still, for us, Thanksgiving 2019 was a good day and I hope it was that way for everyone else, too.

One big element of our lives to which my wife and I gave thanks was how much we have improved as communicators as it applies to each other. After over 26 years of marriage, we have gotten much better at communicating in ways that keep misunderstandings to a minimum. But the best part of that, according to us, is we have improved significantly in dealing with the misunderstandings when they do occur. I remember all too well all the eye-rolling and hand-wringing and raised voices whenever miscues or disagreements did occur. Believe me, none of those times were ever fun. They still aren't, of course, but the good news is they do not occur all that much any more. How come?

From my perspective, I believe my wife and I have learned to appreciate each other more and keep that realization at the forefront of our minds much better than we used to. The result is when we do bump heads, we are more quick to remind ourselves that the other is really a "good egg" and that we love them. This takes the air out of whatever negativity is bouncing back and forth between us during those "unfun" times. While thinking the best of each other may not be revolutionary when it comes to getting along, it an element of communicating that is working for us. It certainly helped make this year's Thanksgiving all the better. 

Negative and Positive Liberty

One thing on which all of us agree is that we all have challenges. They could range from getting the kids ready for school every morning and balancing our checkbook to negotiating a contract dispute between labor and management and figuring out how much to tip the person who served us at a restaurant. The challenges are big and small, consequential and insignificant, and self-generated and externally-imposed. How well we face them helps determine the quality of our lives both from an immediate perspective and from a far more long term determination. Regardless of the kind or source of the challenge, another point on which we can agree is that they never really go away.

As it applies to our challenges, philosopher Isaiah Berlin identifies two kinds of concepts with which we all contend: "negative liberty" and "positive liberty." Negative liberty is a freedom from external obstacles or constraints in that people are not held back from taking some sort of action.
An example of an external constraint might be peer pressure. Positive liberty is freedom from internal constraints that otherwise might hold people back. An example of an internal constraint might be feelings of guilt. According to Berlin, having a level of positive and negative liberty calls for persons to have control of their own mind, including not being confined by irrational fears or false information.   

To communicate effectively requires a strong sense of Berlin's two concepts. This includes knowing one's own mind and having strong convictions based on facts and experience and a deep sense of sensitivity in terms of the attitudes and level of knowledge possessed by outside elements. We cannot communicate as well as we might like unless we are, in a sense, liberated from forces that potentially impede any advancements we wish to make. To acquire such liberty is not easy. Doing so represents another challenge, one that is vital to our success and ability to connect with others. .

Subordinates Need Strong Communication Skills, Too

When looking at organizations - big or small - a preponderance of the attention given them has revolved around the boss or supervisor. This is certainly understandable as it is the head honcho that oversees the operation, the efforts of its employees, and is held responsible for the overall success of the organization itself. Without question, challenges that the supervisor faces have deserved the attention that researchers and others have given this professional and the role they play. My most recent posting, in fact, pertained to supervisors and the difficult communication challenges they address on a daily basis.

As we know, there is another key player in any organization: the subordinate. This person deserves their fair-share of analysis, too, especially when it comes to communication. While they may not always have much of a say in what their responsibilities are, they do often carry the burden of determining ways to meet them. In addition, these professionals have the extra challenges of devising strategies to work well with their colleagues as well as figure out ways to grow and ultimately advance in their careers. If this was not enough, subordinates also have to determine ways to get along with those to whom they report.

A supervisor is one of many. A subordinate is part of "the many." It is vital that they blend in to help ensure their organization functions smoothly as an overall entity. At the same time, the subordinate is an individual with their own goals, ambition and personality. How do they reconcile the two in such a way that addresses their needs as well as those of the organization? To add to that, how do they achieve those important objectives in a way that enables them to not alienate the other members of the organization?  Without question, subordinates do not have it easy either. This is why they, too, need solid communication skills.

Becoming Boss

Becoming boss of an office full of people is no small thing. No matter the size of the staff or what their collective responsibilities might be, being the "head honcho" is akin to lifting up a heavy boulder and carrying it around on your shoulders with no break or time-off. As boss, you are the focus of everyone who reports to you. Even on those days when they are busy trying to carry out their individual tasks, you are a dominating part of their thoughts. What will be the boss think? Will the boss approve of how I am doing my work? Should I check in with the boss before I get started? These and countless similar questions plague and drive each staff member.

As the boss, it is a big part of your job to make sure everyone under you does their work to the best of their ability. But what is their "best?" How well do you define that for each member of your staff? How clearly do you assess their performance in terms of judging how close they come to their best? How well do you give each staff member feedback on their performance? How well you, the boss, addresses each of those questions speaks directly to your communication skills. If you are lacking as a communicator, then it has a negative impact on how well your people perform. But if your communication skills are strong, then your people are more likely to do well.

One element that both supervisor and subordinate have in common is that communication determines the success of their work. For the boss to be an effective communicator, they must be well-rounded in their approach to others. Further, they must possess all the needed ingredients to be able to consistently connect with others: be articulate, empathetic, a good and active listener, knowledgeable, a hard worker, and transparent. On top of all that, they must be those things day-in and day-out. Being viewed as a good communicator requires more than doing well every-so-often. Instead, it must be done well every time at bat. Every day. All season long.

Making Faces

Have you ever looked in the mirror and, just to fun, see how many funny expressions you can make? I have though it has been a while. While I did not spend a whole lot of time doing it, I came up with over a dozen. I remember thinking at the time that that was a lot and that if I really tried, I could probably come up with a lot more. Boy, I had no idea.. In his new and delightful new book, "The Body," author Bill Bryson reports that the average person has the ability to make anywhere between forty-one hundred and ten thousand different facial expressions. To day the least, that is a long time in front of the mirror.

It also means we have an amazing number of tools in our arsenal when it comes to non-verbal communication. It is sure a lot more than I ever realized. Such a number strongly suggests that despite all our technological advances in communication, we have only scratched the surface when it comes to our ability to communicate with others. Imagine that. With our face alone, we have thousands of ways to tell someone else that we love or dislike them or approve or disapprove of their actions or want to or not get to know them better. In the world of communication, such a sizable arsenal represents a great deal of power. And that is just in the face!

In our current political environment, there seems to be a greater intensity of division than we any of us have seen in generations. Yet with the nearly 40 muscles in our face, the ability to make a significant dent in that troublesome reality is literally right in front of our noses. When talking with another who lets fly with opinions we abhor, with a simple moving of our mouth or squinting of our eyes, we can let that person know that their while their views are not to my liking, I still think they are a good person worthy of getting to know or, at least, spending time with. That strikes me as power worth using. And it all comes from making faces.

"How do I want this to end?"

The other day while having a leisurely lunch with a good friend - a fellow retiree - we got to talking about his work as a key administrator at a large university. (I am purposely keeping his identity vague so as not to invade his privacy.) In terms of dealing with the hundreds of folks that reported to him, either directly or indirectly, there were times when he and others did not always see eye-to-eye. Occasionally, he said, tempers would rise. I asked him how he handled conflict, particularly during those bumpy patches. First and foremost, he responded, his initial priority was to not lose his own temper. That, he knew, would only make matters worse.

Equally as important, my friend said he was able to keep himself on an even-keel and keep the disagreements respectful and prevent them from escalating into shouting matches that would do-harm to his working relationship with his colleagues as well as make it more difficult to reconcile the issue at-hand by keeping the following question at the forefront of his thoughts: "How do I want this to end?" His said his answer was always the same:  he never wanted to destroy his working relationship with others and he always wanted to properly address the issue that was the focus of their interaction. As a result, he made a point of communicating in a way that helped ensure those overriding goals were always met.

What we communicate and how we communicate are never not the deciding factors when it comes to contending with disagreements with others. There, of course, is always the option of out-yelling the other person or bullying them into submission. But doing that detracts from any long-term relationship one might have with another. Being respectful, a good listener and well-spoken, and maintaining an air of collegiality are key ingredients toward achieving desired end-results. My friend was wise to recognize this and strong enough to practice it. This is why he was so good at his job and held in high regard while doing it.   

Extreme Fighting

I remember a time - not all that along ago - when everyone knew who the heavyweight boxing champion of the world was. Even non-boxing or sports fans. It was akin to knowing who the President of the United States. It was one of those factoids that everyone simply knew. Nowadays my guess is hardly anyone other than hardcore boxing fans know a fella named Andy Ruiz, Jr. of Cuba is the champ as recognized by the World Boxing Association, World Boxing Organization and the International Boxing Federation. (A guy named Deontay Wilder of the US is heavyweight champ, according to the World Boxing Council.) Full disclosure: I had to look up the name of the current champ(s).

These days professional fighting is not like it used to be. It is not an exaggeration to say it is much more extreme. Kicking is allowed. Hitting an opponent while they are on the mat is ok, too. Even professional wrestling at carried out at a far different level with a lot more acrobatics and spectacular costumes and theatrics. Mind you, it is not my intent to criticize this new reality here as I readily acknowledge professional fighting for men and women seems to be very popular at present. Why within the past few weeks even the President of the United States attended an evening of extreme fighting. By any standards that is not a small thing.

I mention all this as I see a comparison between the current state of professional fighting and what I will call public communication. The world of public communication is in the form of commentators on television and radio and many of the guests who appear on their various programs. The hosts, generally, seem to be louder. Many of the guests seem to have no problem talking over each other to drive  home their points. Even name calling is not totally "out of the blue" when it comes to the public jousting that occurs on our airwaves. The similarity between professional fighting and public communication is not a good thing, at least for those of us who enjoy the public communication programs. Ideally, they should enlighten and raise one's level of social conscious, not thrill in the way an atomic knee drop might.

"Human Scum"

Recently, President Trump's press secretary, Stephanie Grisham, called her boss' critics "human scum." Upon reading that, my initial response was "Wow." Such a comment by a person whose job it is to present their boss and organization in the best possible light is unbelievable. More than that, it runs completely counter to a press secretary's mandate of serving as a bridge builder between that which they represent and those with which they seek to connect. Press secretaries are windows. In Grisham's case, her responsibility is to provide the public with insight into the mindset of President Trump - the nation's top public servant - and do so in a way that is transparent, inviting and, above all, honest.    

By calling his critics "human scum," Grisham did her boss a major and irreparable disservice. While I have no doubt her comment accurately reflects Trump's opinion of those who criticize or second-guess his behavior and decisions, her job is to ensure the "welcome mat" is always open to all citizens, regardless of their current assessment of The White House. I concede that doing that, particularly with a boss such as Trump, is not easy, the reality is bosses are not always at their best and, as a result, sometimes need to be protected from themselves. Grisham failed to do that. She magnified his worst instincts and probably turned a spotlight on hers as well. Shame on him and her.

As one who worked closely with the media and public in a number of capacities, including press secretary, for much of my career, I know how frustrating being a spokesperson can be. You stand in front of a microphone and are have to address questions that are difficult, unfair, at times nasty, awkward, and not ready to be answered. It is, at times, a thankless job because no one else wants to do, including your boss, and one slip-up and suddenly it is your job that is on-the-line. Good press secretaries have integrity. They recognize their job, ideally, rises above the immediate wishes of their boss and speaks to maintaining positive ties with the general public. Sadly, Grisham does not  understand that.

Change Versus Improvement

The other day we were browsing at one of the Best Buy stores in our neighborhood only to learn that it was in the process of shutting down. The reason: it is not getting the foot traffic needed to survive. This, of course, is not the only example of a well-known store that is closing its doors due to the evolving purchasing habits of customers. For several years now, more and more folks have been doing much of their shopping on-line. While I recognize and understand that change, I confess to feeling regret at the consequences of that reality. Whether it is our local Best Buy outlet, Sears, Radio Shack or the numerous familiar long-standing entities that have closed down, our retail landscape is now in the process of becoming something different that what it was.

In his famous book, "Origin of the Species," Charles Darwin observed that survival is based on how well one adapts to their ever-changing environment. Those that can't or don't cease to exist. This is why dinosaurs, though often big and scary, are no longer around. Communication, obviously, is still very much with us. The obvious reason is because people still roam the planet and as social creatures, we communicate non-stop. In numerous ways, however, how we communicate is different than how we used to. One quick example is the still-rising popularity of social media. Nobody tweeted during the administration of either President Roosevelt, to state one easy (and perhaps silly) example.

As an aside, it is worth noting that evolution does not automatically mean one is getting better. The Earth's environment is change due to climate change or global warming. I do not know anyone who is pleased with that reality. Nevertheless, it is forcing mankind to begin making adjustments to how it lives. Much continues to be written by scholars as to how all of us communicate nowadays versus how we used to. Our environment is changing. While it is good that we are adjusting, what remains in-question is whether the changes we are making are improvements. This continues to be a topic worth exploring.    

Repition

One does not have to read too many of these blog entries to understand that their constant theme is that communication is a big deal. It has impact. It makes a difference. It matters. With each entry, I attempt to drive home this point by use of past or current events, various works of scholarship, and my own real-world experiences. With each entry I strive to drive-home the value of effective communication. While we can certainly argue as to how well I do this, there can be no doubt that my focus remains constant. I do this so that persons who do read even a few entries of this blog walk away understanding that communication is a vital aspect of our lives. 

I repeat this overriding point because, to me, it is worth remembering. I want people to navigate each of their days remembering that how well they communicate helps determine the quality of their days and lives. For it to "sink-in" as deeply as I wish, this message needs to be repeated. People need to hear and/or read it more than once. Any marketing or advertising research expert will attest to the reality that for any message to be emotionally and intellectually embraced, then far more often than not, it must be read and/or heard more than once. Repetition is the key.

How many advertisements do any of us hear on radio where the "number to call" is mentioned multiple times throughout the 30-second spot? The same is often true when it comes to television advertisements. People, generally, are busy or distracted or both and do not always "catch" points that are being put forth to them all that quickly. Consequently, key points must be repeated for the key information in messages to be fully embraced. This also holds true when it comes to more informal settings, such as one-on-one conversations. The challenge for all of us is to repeat those key points in ways that are creative rather than insulting. Coming up with ways to repeat one's self is but one more challenge of communicating effectively.

Entering the Select Circle

2019 has approximately ten weeks left before it fades and re-emerges as 2020. While that is inevitable, I find it also comforting in the sense it assures us that no matter the trials and tribulations of the present, there is definitely a future that stands in the on-deck circle. It will have its turn at bat regardless of whatever challenges we as individuals and as a society may be facing now. The news at-present is dominated by the political posturing of our elected leaders. As part of that, each is putting forth a number of messages designed to bring those of us on the receiving end into their tents with the idea of becoming active followers and supporters.

On the surface, that is not a bad strategy for any politician to pursue, standing in front of a group of people or in front of a camera and let all who listen know how strongly you believe in such things as honest government, clean air, economic opportunity, strong defense, international leadership. The theory is the more successful one is the greater number of listeners/supporters they will collect. Also, their bully pulpit will expand, thus giving them greater and, yes, louder voice. The top dogs are heard the most. Making a place for one's self in such a select-circle is not easy, particularly since the competition is so strong.  

Each politician is vying for their place in that select-circle. Even for one news cycle, you can bet it is where they want to be. This reality of politics is not unlike the efforts the rest of us face. While we may not be talking about the same things and to the same size of audience as politicians, hardly a day passes when we do not wish to be heard above all others. Communication revolves around making one's way into that select-circle. We speak and others listen. Even better, we speak and others agree. If you are a parent, you compete with your children. At the office, you compete with your co-workers. Regardless of our station in life, entering into our desired select-circle is one more commonality that we share.     

Handling Disruption

I am a person who likes routine. To site a few examples, generally, I prefer having dinner at the same time, going to the gym at the same time, producing blog entries on the same days of the week, and going to bed at night around the same time. I admit all this may point one into concluding that I tend to be a bit boring. That may be true. But in fairness, I am an "old dog" and we all know how difficult it is to teach a critter like me new tricks. I share these fun facts about me because my sense is there are others whose lives revolve around similar routines as well.  (I would say we should all get together some time, but, then, that would not be part of my routine.)

Seriously, given this similar characteristic, the challenge we routine-lovers share is, from a communication standpoint, how we handle things when there is a disruption to our routine. What feelings does the disruption trigger? How do we communicate them to others? How well do we communicate whatever follow-up steps or actions we might take in response to the disruption? Depending upon the specific circumstance, in the past not all of my responses have been that mature. The disruption becomes a focus of my frustration and anger and the person around me becomes the entity or target of my negative feelings.

Communicating one's thoughts that are triggered by feelings of frustration and anger is not easy, particularly if the disruption is caused by another. Successful communication at such a moment begins with a clear recognition of what has just happened. "My dinner has just been disrupted," we acknowledge. "How do I feel about it? Do I need to share my feelings on this matter with any one else? If so, how can I best communicate that message in a way that will be properly heard and appreciated?" Such questions may seem simple. At the same time, they are pointed enough to help one craft talking points to themselves and others. The goal is to communicate in a way that builds bridges and then helps one maintain them.

Opening Lines

Any entertainer be it a comedian or musician will tell you that you that a strong opening joke or song is important to their performance. It gets their show off to a good start and both reaffirms and builds on the anticipation of the audience of what they hope will be a fun time. If well received, that opening line or number also serves as a powerful life-off to the performer for them to be at their best. In sports, perhaps a good example of the value of a strong opening line would be a race horse getting a powerful jump out of the starting gate. Without it, the chances of their winning the race or even coming close drop considerably.

Writers will affirm the value of an opening line in terms of bringing the reader into their story. The examples are many: "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." "What can you say about a twenty-five year old girl who died?" Powerful opening lines in books are grabbers. In essence, they grab the reader by their lapel, sit them down and demand immediate attention. If the opening line is, in fact, that strong, then the reader goes along willingly.

Of course, the great majority of us are not performers or professional writers. We do our best to connect with others in ways that may not be memorable or attention-getting, but are at least good enough to trigger some level of notice or acknowledgement. Despite that reality, there is something to be said for all of us to give thought to how we first present ourselves to others each day. Those "others" can be strangers or folks we see on a regular basis. A strong opening line gets whatever communicating is about to follow off to a positive start. That opener can come in the form of a smile or wave as well as some sort of verbal communique. The truth is effective communication involves some degree of performance, energy, heart and, above all, thought. 

Communication: Second-to-None

Any one who has read even just a few of my nearly 1,100 blog entries over the past decade or so should have no doubt figured out pretty quickly that I am a big proponent of communication as a profession, social science and practice. To me, it ranks second-to-none. Let me note that this is no way to minimize or criticize other fields of social science. They, too, remain vital to our growth and ongoing positive evolution toward becoming beings of the highest order. What distinguishes communication, however, is the fact it is our most fundamental of activities. It speaks to our how well we interact with others, how well we put forward our own messages and feelings, and how well we develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of others.

There is not a moment in our days when we do not communicate. It is not a coincidence that the same is true of breathing. Communication is that basic. The challenge is found in how well we communicate. The better or more effectively we communicate the less confusion, stress, anxiousness, misinformation, frustration, and discord there is in our lives. How great is that! This is not to say by communicating well there won't be times of disagreement Don't forget, we are humans and disagree is what we do. Effective communication helps us contend or process those bumpy moments and then, ultimately, address them.

Communication speaks to formulating and putting forward our messages, processing all the information that comes at us every day, and doing the needed due diligence in regard to learning how to compose substantive messages, learning how others prefer to receive messages, and being as knowledgeable as we can regarding subject matter and audience. Granted, none of these points is easy; but the bottom-line benefit is it makes our lives better much more satisfying and enriching. Who doesn't want that?

Second-to-None

Fun fact: Tchaikovsky's famous 1812 Overture was not written in 1812. The great composer wrote it in 1880 as a tribute to Russia's successful defense against Napoleon and his attempt to invade that country in - you guessed it - 1812. Here's another one: Aunt Jemima, known for her pancake mix owned by the Quaker Oats Company, was not a real person. Aunt Jemima was a character played by Nancy Green, a former slave from Kentucky who served as the inspiration for the character for over 30 years until her death in 1923.

I mention these two tidbits as examples of how all of us at times take things for granted that turn out not to be true. While Tchaikovsky's masterpiece and Quaker Oats' recipe are innocent enough examples, when it comes to communicating, it is vital that our hold on what is true needs to be as lock-sure as possible. Taking something for granted implies a leap of faith or hope that information one is receiving is all that it seems. Successful communication is built on the premise that all that is put forth is labeled correctly. If it is meant to be a fact, then it is labeled as such. If something is merely a guess or opinion, then it should be presented that way. Receivers of information have a responsibility to make sure what they are taking-in is true.

Of course, those who send out information or messages have an equal responsibility. They need to make sure what they impart is properly labeled without any intent to mislead, deceive or confuse. Without question, truth is the most important ingredient when it comes to communication. Senders and receivers of messages and information share in the responsibility of ensuring that truth takes a backseat to nothing. I concede that such a burden is not easy to carry. At the same time, the benefit - like truth itself - is second-to-none. We owe it ourselves as well as to all communicators everywhere. That, of course, includes everyone.

Timely & Timeless

Timely and timeless. Upon first blush, that probably sounds like the name of a law firm. But it is not. Instead, it speaks to the strategies that public relations professionals devise, launch and sustain. Pretty much all communication campaigns are time sensitive. That means outreach efforts need to occur at a certain period of time in order to have even a chance of achieving the maximum return. As a result, the public relations professional creates a set of tactics that may range from press briefings and media advisories to advertisements and social media communiques, all of which follow a specific timeline. This is the timely aspect of their job.

Timeless speaks more to the quality of their work. How well done is it? Does the groundwork launched maintain a level of benefit long after the campaign itself is over? If, in part, a public relations campaign is designed to establish positive ties between publics, then what is the state of that relationship weeks and months after the campaign is over? As is the case with any two people, while they may never interact again, how fond is the memory that each has of the other after they have gone their separate ways? This speaks to the second key element of the public relations professional's job: relationship building.

When the public relations professional roles up his or her sleeve at the outset of any job, their focus must be on the immediate as well as the long term. The PR worker may want to generate a sizable audience for an event their client is sponsoring, but they also want the attendees to have a good time and to think well of the client long after the specific event is over. In other words, the PR worker wants folks to feel good about their choice to support whatever issue or product that is being promoted. Public relations professionals strive for a good return in terms of the immediate and the long-term.

The Public Relations Professional

What is a public relations professional? This is a person who is politically-correct. They are sensitive to not offending or alienating any one. Being inclusive is their driving force; gathering as many people as possible to a cause or issue. While they recognize generating 100 per cent support is not realistic, they still strive for that goal knowing they will fall short. They do this by devising specific messages designed to persuade. They do that by getting to know their potential supporters, including what is of most concern to them, what questions they may have, and what choices, if any, they have made in the past.

The public relations professional knows all communication efforts are not about them or who they represent. Their efforts are about "the other guy."  They know that building a bridge between their client and perspective customers or allies can only be done properly by looking beyond their own perspectives. Thus, they are loyal to their clients by gaining as much insight into non-clients as possible. If successful, they know that not only will they generate greater support for that which they represent, they will also create alliances that will likely last beyond a specific campaign. Public relations, they know, is as much about persuasion as it is developing partnerships.

Public relations professionals know the act of communicating is much like walking a tightrope. One misstep can often lead to a breakdown between publics. They respect all efforts to communicate. They hold it to be sacred because they know, much like love, its only chance of lasting is through continuous effort. What works today may not necessarily work tomorrow. The public relations professional may get discouraged but this solider does not give up. Ongoing relationships, they know, are worth fighting for, especially when built on honesty, mutual trust and respect. The public relations professional sees effective communication as being essential to the betterment of mankind.

A Communication Tight Rope

Even if one does not follow politics at all, they would still have to be aware of all the talk these days about the impeachment investigation currently underway regarding President Trump. Rightly or wrongly, not only is it very much underway, it even seems to be picking up momentum with each passing day. My goal here with this entry is not to share my personal view of the merits of the investigation. Instead, my intent is to assess the efforts on both sides of this matter from a public relations perspective. Make no mistake, players on both sides of this debate are very much caught up in a public relations battle.

The primary objective of Trump's defenders and accusers is to rally as many supporters to their point of view as possible. Each recognizes that for their position to "win the day"in a manner where their own public reputation remains positive, they must do all they can to sway public opinion to their side. It is members of the public, after all, that ultimately will decree how pleased or not they were with their representative's performance in this entire proceeding. Part of that assessment, of course, will revolve around whether they agree with how the representative votes. Additionally, voters will also make known how they believe their representatives conducted themselves in this matter.

There are several challenges that each member of Congress is facing these days: determining whether President Trump does in fact, deserve to be impeached; assessing the opinions of the voters they have been elected to represent; properly making known the reasons behind their eventual decision on this issue; and maintaining open channels of communication with the voting public for the duration of the debate. This is an emotional matter, which means people are going to be upset regardless of how it ultimately plays-out. Such a reality points to the precarious tight rope that each elected member of Congress is currently walking. As voters, we should at least be mindful of the communication waters they are now seeking to navigate.

Safety Features

One of the great things about automobiles today are the safety features. Never have they been better and more sophisticated than they are today. Approximately 50 years ago, when seat beats were first becoming a fixed part of cars and trucks, I bet many folks figured they would be the be-all of making vehicles as safe as possible. If those same people could have looked into the future to where we are today when it comes auto safety, they would have been blown away. I confess, as a person of today, even I look at the current array of safety features and am blown away.  When it comes to auto safety, I am convinced we are living in the best of times.

One particular feature that I like is the warning cars give the driver when he or she is beginning to either drift into another lane or off the road itself. "Beep. Beep. Beep." When the car makes that sound it is not saying the person behind the wheel is a bad driver. Rather, it is simply making it known that the driver is off-course and needs to correct the path that they are on. I am particularly impressed with this safety feature as I think it is one that all of us could emulate or match. All of us at times get off course for all kinds of reasons. This is especially true in our interactions with others. Disagreements, by definition, signify a path that needs correcting or, at the very least, some sort of adjusting.

Often times, when we disagree with another our feelings get hurt. Name calling occurs. Mean things are said. There is negative judgment toward the other. The result is the persons in-conflict lose sight of the mutual goal they share: enjoying a happy and fulfilling relationship. They need correcting. At those times, they need that annoying yet helpful sound of "beep, beep, beep." Such a "feature" does not pass judgment. Instead, it simply communicates that the two are off-track. Even better, it points out they are moving away from the overriding goal they share: happiness. Once that correction is made, then they are in a much stronger position to deal with their disagreement.

Repition and Empathy

The other day I was reading a fun article about pet ownership and the challenges of teaching one's pet to do tricks like playing dead, rolling over or sitting still. When it comes to communicating with one's pet, the author suggested the best way to proceed is to communicate often and with empathy. This struck me as a great summation of how public relations at its most effective works: often and with empathy. Public relations is all about relationships, establishing them and then maintaining them. How does one do that? (In raising that basic question, I am not referring to the actual strategies but rather the mindset one takes into applying those strategies.)

People, generally, are busy. Additionally, each day they contend with a great many distractions and messages from a great many sources. Consequently, it is not always easy to communicate a specific message that will truly resonate with them in a way that triggers action or a changing of one's mind. A big way to break through the multiple messages from multiple sources is summed up in the word: repetition. Many studies have shown that often people need to hear a message more than once before it truly sinks in. This is why in advertisements, for example, key elements in the overall message are repeated.

But that is not just true in advertisements. Repetition is also a vital element in other forms of communication such as speeches and even one-on-one conversations. Repeating key information is necessary in order to break-through the competition of all those other messages. And then there is the matter of empathy - trying to look at things from the audience's perspective. Not always easy but so important if one is to communicate a particular message effectively. Empathy speaks to the challenge of communicating a message in a way that best speaks to an audience's  concerns, questions or interests. If one can come even close to devising messages that creatively repeat key points and do so in a way to which the audience can relate, then they are well on their way to becoming a most effective communicator.

Being an Open Book

One communication characteristic people share is if they have something they want to say, then the say it. Yes, people may "hold their tongue" on occasion, but eventually they will share what is on their mind. Granted, it may not always be before or to the intended audience. Nevertheless, thoughts are not kept buried forever. For instance, an employee may be frustrated with their supervisor but understandably choose not to share their thoughts with that boss. Still, the frustrated worker will in all likelihood let someone know of their discontent. Also, they may actually communicate their feelings via the quality of their work or their attitude while on the job. All of us make known our feelings and/or thoughts on some level and in some way. None of us "keep a lid on it" as well as we might think.

I am reminded of former president Ulysses Grant and the tail end of his life. As a result of putting his trust in the wrong people and how own misguided judgment regarding his finances, as described in his outstanding 2017 biography of Grant, author Ron Chernow captures Grant's obsession of regaining what he lost by agreeing to write his autobiography, a project he had previously been reluctant to undertake. What added even more urgency to this venture was the fact Grant had been diagnosed with cancer. Doctors agreed it was only a matter of time before his end. For Grant, it was a time when he decided to share thoughts he had been content to keep to himself.  In the span of just a few months, the former president put down over 360,000 words and produced what historians view as being one of the finest presidential memoirs ever.

My point in all this is that rare is the person who literally keeps their thoughts to themselves. Thus, given the inevitability of communicating what is one our mind, it is important that we focus more on determining ways to effectively share rather than withhold. "Biting our tongues" may be something we do from time to time, but that does not last long. At the end of the day, all of us are "open books." As a result, our challenge is to be open in a way that communicates what is inside of us in a manner that is understandable, respectful and not off-putting.

A Relationship Business

Perhaps the most overriding characteristic of any positive relationship any of us might enjoy is that we never want it to end. Despite whatever challenges it may entail, we embrace sound relationships because of the end result: good feelings. Two friends remain friends because they enjoy each other's company and provide each other with a strong sense of acceptance and belonging. So, even if the friends have a disagreement, the good feelings easily outweigh those negative times to the point that each person does what is necessary to get their connection back to where it was. Ideally, the result is a relationship with a long shelf-life.

When organizations or even individuals secure the services of a public relations firm they do so with the goal of establishing and maintaining a relationship with another entity. For example, a candidate running for public office wants the lasting support of voters in order to help her or him be elected and then carry out the work they pledged to do in order to be re-elected. The politician definitely does not want their relationship with voters to begin and end on election day. In the business world, shop owners love it when customers walk through their doors. You can bet they also want repeat business from those same customers.

Those working in public relations are in the relationship business. The best strategies they devise are ones geared to bring two entities together and then lay the groundwork for keeping them together. Just as I acknowledge that such a statement is simple, I also admit that carrying it out successfully is not so simple. Relationships can often be complicated. Ones that last any significant length of time often face an array of obstacles or hurdles that interfere with their "happy place." Having a solid foundation and sense of how best to keep it secure are what keep the bond strong. In the world of outreach, this is what public relations practitioners do.

The Keyboard

It was in high school when I first began using a type writer. To this day, nearly 55 years later, I distinctly remember sitting near the back of the class in the school's typing class and slowly begin gaining a workable understanding of this contraption. I hesitate to use the word "master." The typing class was not mandatory but I remember thinking that learning this skill might prove to be of use some day. (Even at that early age I got lucky in the decision-making department.) The typewriters we used Royals, an effective-enough machine though I always found the keys to be too heavy. Eventually, the Underwood typewriter became my writing tool of choice.

Shortly after signing up for the typing class, I began writing for the my high school newspaper. My "beat" was sports. It was then that writing machines became a regular part of my life. Fast forward to the present as I sit here at the keyboard of my home computer, it is a rare day when I do not spend at least part of my time doing what I am doing now. (I am happy to note that computer keys are even lighter to the touch than those of the Underwood.) Whether it is emails to friends, this blog or working on various manuscripts, the keyboard remains a constant part of my life. I like to think it has been a good relationship.

With the advent of the "delete" button, today's keyboards are so much more user-friendly. Thank goodness. Despite my typing proficiency, my typing mistakes remain high. Still, banging away at the keyboard remains, to me, a good feeling. I see writing as a very helpful way of communicating whatever thoughts I have. The keyboard is the vehicle on which I make that ride most every day. (This is in no-way to suggest all my thoughts are golden, but at least, generally, they are understandable.) The point here to this entry is to give a shout-out to the keyboard, perhaps the unsung hero in the evolution of writing devices.       

A Humanistic Approach

One of the great things you can say about people is that they do not stand still. They always seem to be either on the go or involved in some sort of adventure or drama. I mention that as, according to author Steven Pinker in his 2018 book, Enlightenment Now, there is a growing movement called "Humanism." Inspired by the philosopher Baruch Spinoza, its focus is to promote meaning and ethics: good without God. As part of the movement, a Humanist Manifesto has been created in which its followers have attempted to articulate their overriding goals. One in-particular speaks to a primary goal of public relations: "Humans are social by nature and find meaning in relationships."

As explained by Pinker, this goal speaks to establishing a world where "differences are resolved cooperatively without resorting to violence." Ideally, he notes, it speaks to a desire to create interactions that build on mutual care and concern. Public relations, of course, is based on the premise of identifying mutual interests between publics and then formulating strategies designed to, in a sense, build on them. The strategies, ideally, are based on researching the interests of people and then coming up with strategies as to how best folks can communicate with each other. Depending upon specific circumstances, the interactions can be short or long-term.

Humanists see themselves as not belonging to any specific sect or religion. Instead, they see their beliefs transcending all barriers that people traditionally use to better label themselves. Perhaps not-so-coincidentally, public relations practitioners generally see their skills and practices as being equally transcending. Given that, one could easily conclude that public relations as a social science and its practitioners as professionals are humanistic in approach as well. Both work from the premise of cooperation. Humanism attempts to appeal to the better nature of people. Ideally, so, too, does public relations.

Communicating in Retirement

I begin this entry with a bold statement: It is great having friends. One, I do not believe, has to have a lot of friends in order to live a full life with meaningful and fulfilling social interactions. Such encounters round-out the times we devote to family and the professional side of our lives. For myself, this is especially true as I continue to immerse myself in the world of retirement. The professional side of my life is now history. Besides no longer having to put on a tie and coat on anything even close to a regular basis, retirement has made a dramatic change in my interactions with others. When working, I interacted with others whether I wanted to or not. Now, as a retiree, interactions mainly have to be created.

Initiating encounters is a communication challenge that is different than walking into an office full of co-workers where everyone is interacting with each other non-stop. Communicating from the aspect of being retired requires a certain level of effort that is not needed when employed. Employees have little-to-no choice about engaging with others. On the other hand, retirees have to make a "move" or the odds are any encounters with others will simply not happen. Thus, one difference between the two is the mind-set. Communicating with others as a retiree is largely a willful act. It is proactive. As an employee, it is much more reactive.

Nowadays I find myself planning out my connecting with others. To leave encountering with friends to-chance is too much of a long shot, particularly because most of the friends that I see regularly are retired as well. They, too, are adjusting to their new lifestyles. This is a challenge that all of us are facing together. For me, I do not want to be retired without them. This is because, from my perspective, the last thing I want is to view life only through my eyes. And if it means initiating my interactions with others, then so be it.   


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Word-Fumbles

There was a story in the press several years ago about a trainer for the terrorist group ISIS who was demonstrating to a class of wanna-be terrorists how an explosive vest works. No doubt he figured what better way to share this information then to bring in an actual explosive vest and walk the class through how it works. At this point, if you have guessed that during the "lecture" the instructor triggered the explosive vest and blew up himself and the students, then you go the head of my class today. (I cannot help but wonder if that teacher's final words were, "Class dismissed.")

I am not going to pretend to feel sorry for anyone in that class as obviously none of them, from the perspective of humanity, were good people. Still, what happened provides us with a perfect and even colorful example of how efforts to communicate do not always go as well as intended. All of us have times when we are trying to impart something to another and either end up mangling our words or end up not saying what we set out to say. When that happens to me, it ends up frustrating me even more than it does the person to whom I am speaking. It is case of our words not matching our thoughts. At these moment, as is the case when any misstep or fumble occurs, the challenge for all of us is what to do about it. How do we handle it?

Even if one is speaking to a large audience, the best thing to do is acknowledge that you just misspoke. It may be a little embarrassing at that moment, but to either pretend that you did not misspeak or to just keep speaking puts one on a dangerous path that in all likelihood will either lead to greater confusion among the audience or damage your credibility as a communicator. Those outcomes are far worse then a simple word-fumble. No one expects perfection from a speaker simply because occasional word-fumbles is something all of us experience. When it comes to communicating, being understood is the bottom-line goal.       

Hold the Puppy

The other day my wife and I went into a local car dealership to do some window shopping regarding getting a new car. We had no intention of buying anything that day. We were just there to look. As soon as we walked through the day a salesperson attached himself to us and instantly became our new best friend. Within minutes we were being walked around the lot, checking out the kind of vehicles in which we were interested. After some back-and-forth, we finally identified one particular car we would not mind taking home - if we were of a mind to do so that day. It was at this point - as if he was thinking of this for the first time - the salesperson said, "How about taking the car out for a drive."

Looking back, as soon as we said, "yes," and got behind the wheel of the car, the chances of our not agreeing to purchase the car pretty much went out the window. As we were driving around, running a few errands, and enjoying the ride in this new model, my wife and I acknowledged that we were going to make this purchase. I made the observation that letting us take the car for a spin was akin to going to an animal shelter or pet store to look at dogs and having one of the workers say, "Hey, why don't you at least hold this puppy." Once you have the critter in your arms and it is being as adorable as all puppies are, what are the odds of you going home without it?

Without question, enabling people to gain first-hand experience, as the salesperson did with us and the car, is a powerful strategy. In quick fashion, it helped my wife and I envision having this vehicle as part of our every day lives to the point where we turned that image into reality. Generally, such a strategy works wonders when it comes to communicating effectively. In fact, I have no doubt such a strategy is one all salespeople attempt to implement dozens of times every day. The more any of us can do to help our audiences actually experience what we are attempting to put forward, the more receptive they will be to our perspective.

Information and Feelings

When it comes to communication, there seems to be two overriding elements that drive it: information and feelings. People either want to pass along something they know or have heard or want to share their feelings about pretty much anything. "Honey, I just went to the store and bought buns and hot dogs for this weekend's cook-out." Or, just as timely, "I wish to announce that I am running for president of the United States? Or, "I think that new series on Netflix is awful."  All of us are either on the receiving end of these kind of statements or are the ones who are passing them along to others.

Some times, of course, what we share or hear may be much more intense or complex than any of those examples. Nevertheless, they represent the crux of all that is passed along between publics. Information and feelings. In terms of the effectiveness of what we share or receive, generally, it revolves around how understandable and timely the message is and how receptive we are to receiving it. These variables represent what you might term the packaging of each communique. Passing along a piece of information or sharing a feeling, though straight forward enough, may not go all that well unless care has been given to the crafting of the message and if the intended audience is properly primed or prepped.       

To me, this is where public relations comes into play. Communication is the core message. Public relations is the presentation of it. It is one thing to wish one's spouse a happy anniversary, for example, but another to do so with a gift and fancy dinner when the spouse is most likely to enjoy this kind of package. As communicators, which is what we are all, trying to figure out how best to share information and our feelings is what drives us every day. It really does not get much more basic than that.