New Year's Resolution

With 2008 now only a few days away from becoming history, I have been looking back at my life these past 12 months. Were the days that filled them good or bad? Was this is a good year for me? If my life in 2008 was a movie would it get a thumbs up or thumbs down? From a communication aspect, I give my life in 2008 a good review. Why? Did I write the definitive communication text or paper on this significant topic? No. Did I win any major award in the field? No. But I, like many others, did seek to advance the field and act of communication in an honest way.

Communication, like eating okra, is not for the faint of heart. It is messy, frustrating, and time consuming. Success is never guaranteed. Sometimes even the best intended communication efforts can make situations worse. Yet, at the same time, it is necessary for our personal growth and for the survival of our society. As a result, it needs to be promoted, practiced, and protected. The fact more people than ever are working as professional communicators is a good thing. This reality signifies an ever-growing awareness and recognition of the necessity of viable and effective communication. If any one thinks communication does not matter, then they should try getting through one day without it, even if it is a day they spend alone.

This brings me to my resolution for 2009. I will continue striving to be the best advocate for communication that I can. This blog is a piece of that. I will seek to make it more relevant and timely than it has been up till now. (I will also seek to generate a readership, which up till now I suspect consists of me.) But that aside, with over 35 professional years in the communication field and a growing realization that our world is more vulnerable and complex than ever, the bar of awareness and advocacy for communication must be raised. My resolution for 2009 is to help with that heavy lifting.

Dealing With Complexity

The world is growing in complexity. More people. More agendas. More perspectives. More ideas. More problems. More needs to be heard and understood. Collectively, this makes for an imposing reality. Given this: what is a person to do? How can a business cope? How can a nation succeed in achieving peaceful co-existence? How can a planet sustain itself? The answers to these questions are as complex as the world that drives them. At the same time, responses and possible solutions do share one particular common element. For those of you guessed "communication," then go to the head of the class.

If there is going to be any chance at all at addressing the world's dilemmas, then people are going to have to talk with each other. Further, they are going to need to do so in ways that help them feel connected, listened to, validated, and even appreciated. All of this is one tall order that takes solid thinking, planning, collaborating, and test runs. These are exactly the kind of tasks that persons with good communication skills identify and undertake. The trick for those communicators and all who work with them is to devise a way or ways that help ensure the strategies are successful. This, of course, is where good communication on everyone's part comes into play. Also, it does not hurt if participants possess patience, a sense of humor, and an ability to think in the long term.

Communication is not easy, nor is it always successful. Looking ahead to 2009, the world faces an array of complex issues that range from food and water shortages and weak economies to global warming and AIDS prevention. What's a people to do? For starters, seeking ways to communicate makes for a great first step.

Naughty and Nice 2

2008 was nothing if not a political year. As it is with every presidential election year, most everything that happens by our leading political figures dominates the news and is viewed through the prism of election day. (That, by the way, is not necessarily a good thing, but it is a reality of our media and the mindset it helps set within our nation.) All this is to say that my list of naughty and nice communicators in 2008 is very short and very political. It also, I freely concede, reflects my own political bias, certainly in this particular year that is rapidly drawing to a close.

But before I name names, let me define what criteria I am using to determine who or what is placed on which list. Honesty. Plain and simple. Rarely are efforts to communicate letter-perfect. Things can almost always be done more effectively. However, if an effort is honest without a goal to mislead and/or deceive, then that in itself is a good or nice communication effort. While being good or nice may not result in success, it does contribute to the kind of bridge building that remains a fundamental purpose of communication. Having said that, the naughty list is dominated by President Bush and his administration. Any individual and group that makes deception a main part of their outreach deserves nothing less. We may have had worse presidents in our nation's history, but it is difficult to identify one that has been more fundamentally dishonest. The most recent example of this is Bush's current round of farewell interviews with the major media outlets. In each one he talks of his regret that intelligence had been better regarding the question of whether Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The well-documented fact is the intelligence was just fine. Bush, Cheney and others simply manipulated the intelligence to fit their desire to go to war. The fact that hundreds of thousands of people have died as a result of their ongoing lies makes their behavior immoral as well as criminal.

In terms of nice, I must go with President-election Obama. In less than a month, he will become our new communicator-in-chief. As a student and teacher of communication, I feel at this moment that our nation is in good hands. Obama is a solid communicator because his words come from his ability and willingness to listen. As a result, he is able to speak to the needs, concerns, etc. of people in a manner in which they can relate and feel heard. The success of his historic campaign is the result, in large measure, of his ability to communicate with consistent honestly and compassion. May he continue to exhibit this talent.

Happy holidays everyone!

Naughty and Nice

Christmas is now one week away. Among other things, that means the end of another year is almost upon us. Not surprisingly, much looking back over the past 12 months is underway as people review the highs and lows of their personal lives as well as those of the country and world. From a communication standpoint, there are primarily two lists: naughty and nice. Who or what were examples of poor communication and who or what were examples of good communication? I will share my list of each in my next entry, but first I think it is important to define what I mean by poor and good communication.

I do not necessarily define poor or good by success. The act of communicating is tricky and tough. Well-thought-out, straight-forward plans do not always succeed, but nevertheless the people behind them deserve credit just the same. Similarly, poor plans, such as ones based on lies, deception and purposeful manipulation can generate success but that does not make them any less poor. Ideally, communication is an honest act but that is not to say there are those who not abuse that truism. Unfortunately, there are those who justify their shady behavior by pointing to the fact people attended their event, voted for their candidate, or bought their product as a result of misleading information. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's just say the end does not justify the means when it comes to communication. Also, there are so-called communication experts who actually give the profession a bad name just as there are politicians who give politics a bad name.

Good and effective communication is often time unseen or even unappreciated at the time it happens. Good communicators should never over shadow the message or the client they are attempting to represent. This seemed to be an unfortunate trend in 2008. But the flip side of that trend in 2008 is that communication, as a tool and profession, continued to be recognized as being vital to any effort to bring people together. There will be more to come on communication in 2008.

Musicality of Communications

Have you ever watched an orchestra or any kind of musical group play? It can really be a fun and enjoyable experience, especially when they are playing music you like. The sounds they produce are in sync and harmony and can make a true connection to any or all who are listening. What is particularly interesting is the individual musician in a group and the challenges he or she has to meet in order for the entire group to produce a pleasant sound. One such challenge for this person, irregardless of the instrument they are playing, is to focus on making sure they are playing their own notes correctly in a time when they are supposed to. Another challenge is that they have to pay attention - listen - to what the musicians next to them and those around them are doing so they can make any necessary adjustments in their playing should unexpected occurrences arise. These individual musicians, then, have to both focus on themselves and others: communicate at and communicate with.

The dual challenges of the musician are very similar of those of a communicator. Yes, the communicator needs to devise effective and even creative strategies with which to connect with others. But these strategies must be derived from information they have collected by learning more about the people with whom they are attempting to blend. It is all part of establishing and maintaining an ongoing dialog with others. No one communicates in a vacuum just as no musician in a group plays within a vacuum. Communication, ideally, is a circular exchange and interaction between information collected and information shared. The two build on each other much like Ravel's "Bolero" continues to expand.

This gives us one more reason to admire musicians. Not only do they deserve applause for the skills they exhibit at playing an instrument, but they should also be recognized for demonstrating just how enjoyable and meaningful effective communication can be when all the right notes are hit.

Long Term Thinking

One of the first things I will be doing after the upcoming holidays is talk to a group of public relations officers about communicating with young people who either have or who are about to graduate from high school. As someone who has worked in public relations in a higher education setting for nearly 35 years, they want me to talk about how we go about communicating with that particular audience. It is an interesting question, particularly for those of us in higher education who face that challenge each semester. Students, after all, are what keep us afloat. But the question itself speaks to a more encompassing topic: strategic communication.

Connecting with any specific audience or public begins, for me, with a reaffirmation of the fundamental essence of what public relations is. Public relations professionals are relationship managers. It is these men and women who work to bring publics together and then keep them together over a sustained period of time. Consequently, any strategies devised to connect with high schoolers must be long-range in nature, not short-term. Remember: public relations is a long distance run, not a sprint. Yes, we want the prospective strudents to enroll at our institution but we also want them to stay with us, and then remain in our corner when they graduate.

Any plans for recruiting high schoolers to enroll are incomplete if they focus only on short-term strategies, such as sending representatives to high school fairs, doing on-line advertising, and/or sending out press releases. While these steps are valid, they do not or should not represent the entire package. This is an easy trap to fall into and often times many public relations professionals do just that. Communicating matters the most when it articulates a long-term commitment.

Teaching Communication

One of the things I enjoy doing the most is teach. Whether I am at any good at that I will leave to others to address. But I find the act of preparing lesson plans, figuring out ways to be informative and motivational, and interacting with a range of students to be fun, challenging and stimulating. I have been doing it now for over twenty years. Specifically, I teach a public relations class part-time and have been doing so at different colleges, the one most recent for the past five years. I view what I do in this regard as important because successful communication is vital to the success of our society and our world. Any thing that any one can do to help drive that fundamental truism home to students of communication should be supported.

In my teaching experiences, one lesson above all others that I strive to impart on students is that becoming an effective communicator requires constant and ongoing practice. It is very much like becoming a high caliber artist. Yo-Yo Ma is a great and acclaimed musician, but you can bet he continues to practice as often as he can. Why? Because he wants to retain his level of performance and, if possible, improve upon it. Yo-Yo Ma, of course, is one of countless examples of this.

Many students, at least initially, view communication as being easy because, let's face it, everybody does it and everybody does it all the time. One joke is we can even communicate without even thinking because it is so fundamental to our being. Sadly, far too many people do attempt to communicate without much planning or thought. Consequently, it is not surprising to know that most attempts by so-called professionals fail or are not as effective as they could be simply because not nearly as much planning has been done before hand.

Whether you are in public relations or another profession; whether you are simply trying to make social arrangements with friends; or whether you are trying to share your own views about something, the fundamentals of communication remain: be a good listener, know your audience, and know what it is you are trying to communicate and what you trying to achieve. They are worth learning and remembering. I will continue highlighting these essentials to future students and, of course, keep practicing them myself.

Reality Check

Isn't if fun how television and motion pictures can make some things seem more glamorous or exciting than they really are? For instance, take any of the multitude of cop shows that have been on television over the years. Is there a more exciting profession than being a detective who goes from one bad-guy-fighting/crimes solving adventure to another? These men and women seem to have little, if any, time for doing such mundane things as changing clothes, going to the grocery store, mowing the lawn, or paying bills. They just bounce from one shoot-out after another, yelling matches with their bosses, and close encounters of the best kind with their lovers and/or spouses.

Of course, as many television shows of this kind that have been produced over the years, there have been almost as many articles and accounts by real police officers that discuss how unreal and misleading those fun and entertaining productions actually are. In the real world, being a cop involves tons of paper work, research, talking with people, and routinely staying in touch with key sources. Many officers, in the real world, can go an entire career without firing their pistol once other than in target practice.

This vast difference also applies to people in the public relations profession. While there have not been nearly as many entertainment depictions of PR types as there have been of cops, there have been enough to report that the real day-to-day world of those in the communication industry is as unglamorous as is the real world of those in law enforcement. Being an effective and respectable public relations officer involves research, planning, collaboration, and paper work. Let's face it, how action packed can preparing the text for a three-fold brochure really be? Public relations professionals are relationship builders and managers. They are not news makers or party animals. Establishing connections with others requires solid research and planning. People who are looking into entering this profession should do so because they recognize the importance to our society of meaningful bridge building.

Knowing Your Audience

Have you ever been around two people who seem to be very much in sync? For instance, they seem to finish each other's sentences or, at times, read each other's mind. Assuming neither one possesses any kind of psychic powers, the obvious conclusion at this particular dynamic is that these individuals really do seem to know each other very well. They talk with each other and not at. Their dialog is circular and not one-sided. From a communication standpoint, this circumstance is ideal. Each individual knows his or her audience or public. As a result, meaningful communication occurs.

The scenario I painted usually involves a couple or two close friends. Obviously, it is not always realistic to expect a professional communicator to develop this kind of closeness with a public. For instance, a high ranking professional at a high ranking public relations firm is not expected to be as tight with a public, such as potential investors, as he or she is with their spouse. Nevertheless, it is a goal worth striving to achieve if one wishes to be an effective communicator. Make no mistake: the more one can learn about another, the better they will be able to connect with another person. This is the "bottom line" challenge of any communicator. Know your audience.

In real estate, the mantra is "location, location, location." In communication, the mantra is "relationship, relationship, relationship." If one does not make the effort to educate themselves about an audience or public - no matter how big or small it might be - then their communication efforts will be made of straw, not brick. And if you are wondering how that plays out, then just read "The Three Little Pigs." Here's a hint: the house of straw collapsed at the first strong wind.

Thanks to Communicators

This entry falls on Thanksgiving Day, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone - at least everyone and anyone who might stumble across this blog either today or sometime in the future. This day and this time of year is one of giving thanks. I, too, give many thanks to many things that are important in my life. This blog is rapidly becoming one of them. So, it is in keeping with that I choose to give a message of hope when it comes to the exercise of communication. We are all good and effective communicators. How about that!

One theme I have tried to touch on in my entries these past months has been how challenging communication is. Make no mistake, successfully sustained communication is very difficult for all of us. Despite that, I can honestly say - once again - we are good and effective communicators. That is the good news. The not-so-good news is that we are not good and effective communicators all the time. The trick is to assess those times and moments when we do connect with another person or public, identify the elements that contributed to that connection, and then simply keep doing it. But even that formula comes with a cautionary warning: no two circumstances are exactly alike. As a result, the specific elements or ingredients that helped make the communication at that one time successful, will need to be tweaked or adjusted in order to fit a new circumstance.

Communication, much like the circumstances that fill our days and, ultimately, our lives, is fluid. But, then, so are we in many ways. Though unique, each circumstance also contains elements that are common to circumstances that came before it. The trick is to identify those commonalities and make them the basis for developing a successful communication strategy - much like what a baseball hitter does. Each pitch thrown at the batter is unique, but it also contains similar elements of previous pitches. The batter's challenge is to identify those like-elements and then hit the ball. The best hitters are able to do that successfully between three and four times out of ever ten pitches thrown.

I will stop for now since today, after all, is a holiday. To all who have enjoyed even one successful communication experience, I wish you well and urge you to keep doing what you did that one time: acting with thought, flexibility, sensitivity, and courage. Happy Thanksgiving.

A Growing Industry

Communication is a growing industry. Sine World War II, for instance, the number of professional communication or public relations practitioners in our country has grown to over 160,000. Additionally, over 250 colleges and universities within the United States offer a sequence or degree program in public relations. These statistics alone suggest the increased importance our society is placing on communication. Not only do we want more skilled professionals in this profession, but we need them. It is no longer enough for a person to be merely good at what he or she does. For instance, we all want a good general physician in our corner to help us deal with day-to-day illness or injuries that may come up. But just as importantly, we now want that same professional to be to be good at communicating information that we need to know in ways we understand and in a manner that helps make us feel cared for.

At the same time, our friends in the corporate world want communicators who can present their products in a way that helps establish long-term connections between them and their customers. Who better to make this happen than a communicator who can not only package a product properly but can also help establish a meaningful bridge between a corporate entity and its publics? And let us not forget our federal government that is currently trying to help the citizenry understand and cope with the economic crisis before us. It, too, needs good communicators who can do this as well as generate support for the solutions to this crisis that the government is in the process of developing.

It is no coincidence, then, that the communication industry is growing. Communication matters because without it the link between today and tomorrow, a sense of aloneness and a sense of belonging, a sense of hopelessness and one of hope, a sense of aimlessness and one of purpose will not be made. In today's world, communication matters a lot. In the world of tomorrow, it will be essential.

A People Person

Recently, one of my heroes died. From the outpouring of public celebration of this man's life and achievement, it seems as if he were hero to many others as well. I speak of Studs Terkel. Many people refer to themselves as a "people person," but if any one truly deserves that label it is Mr. Terkel. His many years of talking with people - famous and not - about their lives, ups and downs, perspectives, values, and reflections depicted an individual of great depth, sensitivity, and, yes, even strength. It was this citizen of Chicago who recognized that everyone, in their heart, is an inspired communicator if given the proper format and audience. All it takes is an engaged audience and a setting to bring that out. Mr. Terkel was both the audience and, in a sense, the stage director. The result was a string of oral histories on a range of topics that should be required reading for any and all who view themselves as being good with others.

One of the things I liked best about Mr. Terkel was his ability to listen. This skill showcased the importance of this aspect of communication that all too often is overlooked or only given lip service. In our public and private worlds today there seems to be far too much "talking at" than "talking with." Mr. Terkel definitely talked with people and was able to literally paint thousands of portraits of men and women that demonstrated that perhaps the not-so famous and not-so powerful in our society might be worth listening to; perhaps we might be better off if those who currently dominant our headlines and websites were given a backseat to the so-called "little people." After all, there are more of us than there are of them.

Thank you, Mr. Terkel, for being the kind of person you were. You lived over 90 years, yet, to my mind, that wasn't enough. Thank you for being such a great communicator and for being such as inspiration to those who still take the art of listening seriously.

Making Mistakes

If there is one thing we can all agree on it is the premise that nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Big ones. Little ones. Significant ones. Unimportant ones. We try not to, of course. In fact, many of us devote a good deal of our energies to avoid or not make mistakes. Nevertheless, they are as much apart of our lives as is breathing. Let's face it: none of us, as much as we may hate to admit it, is programmed for perfection. So, given that common denominator that we all share, the trick is what we do when we do cause those annoying blips to pop up on our personal screens.

No, communication will not erase mistakes or helps us not make them. But effective, time-sensitive, and honest communication can help minimize our mistakes and even generate greater respect and support for us than we may have had before a mistake occurred. A couple of quick examples can illustrate this. In March, 1989, an Exxon oil tanker - the Exxon Valdez - spilled over 11 million gallons of crude oil into the waters of Alaska's Prince William Sound. How did the leaders at Exxon respond? Slowly and with irresponsibly. They covered up. They failed to take proper action to fix the giant and costly mess. They made things worse and alienated millions of people in doing so. In 1982 and 1986, some one or some group of people tampered with one of its most popular products: Tylenol. The tragic result was that several innocent customers died. Unlike Exxon, the parent company of Tylenol, Johnson & Johnson, accepted responsibility for this dirty piece of sabotage and recalled the entire product. The public embraced their actions and remained loyal to them.

People understand that mistakes occur because we all make them. Given that, it is best to communicate to the proper public or publics when they happen. This is true in our personal lives as well as in the public arena. People can and do forgive and move-on when they believe they are being leveled with. When they do not, then the ramifications of a mistake begin to multiply. Since we all make them so often, it seems we would be doing ourselves and our own publics a big favor if we acted like effective communicators when we made them. After all, who among us wants to make more mistakes than we already do?

Journalism and Public Relations

Journalists and public relations practitioners seem an unlikely pair. In some circles one is viewed as exhibiting an unstoppable doggedness as they seek to uncover and report "the truth." The other is viewed as a stumbling block that stands between the intrepid reporter and information that must be shared with the public for the good of the public. Nevertheless, the two are often linked. While these so-called images are drawn more from stereotypical composites than they are reality, they do represent perceptions that have had a long shelf life among many.

Professionals from each of these professions have much more in common than not. The two are communicators that serve important roles within society. They are providers of information that, ideally, is accurate and honest. They are voices of others. They often rely on each other to communicate with their audiences. They are resources to each other. Often times, each is deadline-driven. In order to be successful, each must be viewed as being honest, dependable, and agents of the greater good that is society. Each operates in a fish bowl. On the other hand, one, ideally, attempts to represents all sides of an issue or story while the other generally represents one side.

In some way, shape or form, their respective professions have been around for literally hundreds of years if not longer. The two professions provide the general public with information that helps people function and make choices. They are vital to our lifestyles. They are as enlightening as they are as maddening because sometimes they give us information we do not like, do not want, or in a way we do not appreciate. Our society has evolved to a point where living without them would be extremely difficult. We depend heavily on information and it is these professional communicators that help provide us with that valuable commodity.

Try Listening

Looking back at the results of the 2008 presidential election, it is easy to see the Republicans took it on the chin pretty good. What they experienced was no glancing blow or lucky punch, but a shot right smack in the kisser. Even though the election is still less than a week old, discussions and commentary is already underway as to what this "party of Lincoln" now needs to do to pick itself up off the canvas and become to regain its position as a a viable voice in the American dialog. I will leave it to the many pundits to speculate as to who should or will be the leading voice of the Americans, but from a communication perspective, I believe Republicans have a fundamental problem that will sincere and sustained effort can be overcome.

The party's downfall did not happen over night. Their rejection of so much of the American electorate did not, as it were, come out of the blue. For communication to truly work and be effective, it must be a two-way street. One person talks and another listens. The listener then becomes the talker and the talker becomes the listener. This is a choreography all of us who enter into a dialog follow. For there to be true dialog, two parties or entities must participate. If only one party participates, then the dialog simply does not work. It becomes a spectacle of one party talking at another rather than with. It is no secret that this kind of dynamic does not happen to last long before one of the parties simply turns away and gravitates to another that will be more amenable to a sustained two-way exchange.

In the past eight years the Republican leadership stopped listening to the people. There are plenty of specific examples of this. Economically, for instance, the majority of the American people were suffering and not being shy about voicing their plight. But were any of the Republican leaders listening? According to polls, the majority of Americans wanted health care. But who on the Republican side was really paying attention to those voices? The number of Americans wanting the country to end its take over of Iraq seemed to grow with each poll. Who among the leaders of the Grand Old Party was paying attention to this?

Listening does not necessary result in agreement. But what it does mean is conversation, partnership, connection, and collaboration. It is these pieces of reality that the American electorate was looking for from Republican leaders over the past eight years and these pieces of reality that it was not getting. The eventual result of this frustration and disillusionment saw increases in Democrat members of the House and Senate and a Democrat president. As a result, my recommendation to Republican leaders is to take a deep breath and devote your energies for now in finding an ear rather than a voice. If the Democrats can do it, then you can, too.

Building a Bridge

Congratulations to President-Elect Barrack Obama. This year's presidential election is the 16th in my lifetime. Granted, in my first election in 1952 I was only two years old, so my memory of that historic moment is a bit fuzzy. Perhaps non-existent would be a better word. Despite that, in all the years since then, I cannot recall ever witnessing a greater outpouring of genuine joy over the selection of a new president than what we have been seeing these past few days. It has been amazing and wonderful and uplifting. And all this has not just been happening here in the United States. Much of the celebration has been taking place throughout the world. The last time I saw this amount of unbridled joy was with the Ewoks when the evil empire was vanquished in one of the Star Wars movies.

Seriously, much can taken from from the reactions we are seeing and reading about now. But one point that strikes me is that it reveals a deep connection between men and women exists that has largely been overlooked these past eight years. People want openness and honesty from their leaders. People want leaders who genuinely care about their well being. People want leaders who are working for the greater good of mankind. If any of this has existed here in the U.S. these past eight years, then the celebrating we are now witnessing strongly suggests that it has not been demonstrated or communicated very well. In Obama, people sense these qualities. In Obama, they sense a man more interested in building bridges than tearing them down.
As a result, literally millions of people throughout the world are jumping for joy because of the hope they feel and see.

As America's new communicator-in-chief, time will tell how well Obama lives up to the expectations that are now being placed upon him. But so long as he continues to communicate in an honest, open and sincere manner, then the people will follow for all the right reasons.
They recognize he is not perfect. They are aware his ideas and policies may not always work as well as they are designed. But in this singular individual, they also identify a growing leader with the best of intentions to do well for the many - rich and poor - and not just a few. If nothing else, we are all off to a good start.

It is the final day of the 2008 presidential election and I for one am glad. Do not misunderstand. I am not glad the campaign itself is over because I have found it to be highly exciting, interesting and, in many ways, challenging. But our nation has been drifting for far too long now with inept leadership and wrong-headed policies. We need new leadership and new energy at the helm and we cannot afford to wait any longer for it.

Since beginning this blog I have purposefully attempted to stay out of taking sides in this year's political contest because in these entries I mainly have wanted to focus on various aspects of communication and not politics. However, communication, as it always does, has played a key role in this race and it has been from that angle that I have touched on the political debate from time to time. After all, it is the president who, by virtue of the office, serves as our nation's communicator in-chief. Throughout our history we have had good communicators and not-so-good ones. I would argue that there is a direct correlation between the fortunes of our nation and how well each particular president communicates. Is the president honest? How well does the president listen? Can and does the president inspire? Does the president present an air of inclusiveness in their remarks? It is answers to these and other relevant questions that help shape my decisions every four years as to who I will support. 2008 is no different. Thus, if I were to give any guidance as to who to vote for this year, one criteria to use is how well each candidate communicates.

By the time I make my next entry we will have a new president. At that time I will have some recommendations - from a communication standpoint - as to how this person should proceed to begin the important process of bringing the nation together. It has been done before and it can be done again. In the meantime, for any one and everyone who might stumble across this blog, I leave you with one word: VOTE!

The Right Thing

Counting today, the 2008 presidential campaign will be over in five days. Because of its many historical highlights, it is a race that will be written about for years to come. And rightfully so. The interesting thing is: with all the books, think pieces, magazine articles, etc. to follow, the actual results of the race will not necessarily be the primary focus of all that will be written and spoken. America has made history in 2007 and 2008 no matter who ultimately captures the brass ring. This has been an exciting time for our nation. As I write this I am hoping that Americans, by the end of the day on Tuesday, November 4, will have done the right thing.

What, you might wonder, do I mean by "the right thing?" First, let me preface my explanation by observing that over the past nearly two years of this campaign, there have been times when Americans, including the candidates and their many representatives, have not done the right thing. Purposely spreading misleading information is not the right thing. The claim from the McCain camp that Obama supports sex education for preschool kids is an example. The claim from the Obama camp that McCain does not appreciate the economic hardships being faced today by many Americans is an example. Cries from some McCain supporters that Obama should be killed is an example. Cries from some Obama supp0rters that McCain actually betrayed the nation during his years as a POW in Vietnam is an example. They as candidates and we as people are better than that.

Whenever I reflect on the vision of America's Founding Fathers, the famous motto of Dumas' "The Three Musketeers" almost always come to mind: "all for one and one for all." It is this principle on which our nation was founded and our constitution was drawn. The best moments in our nation's history have always been when we as a people have worked together for the common good. Think of Lincoln's famous "house divided" speech. He captured that sentiment better than anyone. Unity comes from honesty, not misleading statements and actions. The past years have demonstrated that. Let election day this year be a giant step for all of us to reclaim our nation's heritage.

One theme in the postings I have thus far made is that communication is at its most effective when it is done honestly. On election day this year, I hope Americans do the right thing by voting honestly; by voting for a person and what he represents for our nation as opposed to supporting lies and unfounded fears and bigotry and ignorance. The two candidates are good men. We are a good nation. On election day I call for that innate goodness to step forward and be heard.

Handling a Crisis

There has been a lot of talk lately in the presidential campaign about handling a crisis. Which candidate has been tested? Which one has "the spine of steel" to deal with the unknown and unwanted emergency? Will the United States be at greater risk if one candidate is selected over another? These are all pertinent questions because of the simple fact we all want to be safe and feel as if our government and our leaders not only have our best interests at heart, but also are looking out for us in good times and bad. In the past nearly eight years, some bad things have occurred inside our borders. We have been attacked by terrorists, had a valuable region of the country destroyed by a hurricane, and seen pockets of our infrastructure collapse. How have our leaders handled these rocky events? Have they done so in a way that instills confidence? God forbid, nothing like these will ever happen again, but if it does, then which of our candidates do we want to have in the position of leading us through them?

One of the essential ingredients in handling a crisis is communication. Above all else, people want one very basic thing when something terrible occurs: information. Specifically, they want to know what has happened, what is being done about it, and what steps are being taken to help ensure it never happens again. Additionally, they also want honesty, accountability and compassion. People also want to be communicated with in a manner in which they understand and in ways we can be inspired to take actions or steps to help be part of the response to a crisis. If the communicator in charge falls short on these fundamental expectations, then the effectiveness of their communication efforts will in all likelihood be compromised.

I have purposely not mentioned either presidential candidate in the context of this entry. My purpose is not to endorse one candidate over the other as being the best communicator in times of a crisis, but rather to raise some specific questions as to which one do we feel is best suited to serve as our primary source of information should our nation be hit with a future crisis. Communication will not solve a crisis, but any solution to a crisis cannot be carried out unless effective communication is part of the mix.

Tortoise and the Hare

We all remember the lesson of the fable, The Tortoise and the Hare: "slow and steady wins the race." Communication is much like that - a long distance run rather than a sprint. One of the ingredients of effective communication is consistency of message. Establishing that only comes with time. It involves reiteration, giving explanation to, and building on core ideas and values. These things can not be done in one media event or one splashy moment. Do not get me wrong. I like splashy moments as much as the next guy. But, for me, unless that splashy moment is reinforced the next day or shortly afterward with complementary behavior and/or words, then that splashy moment is rendered hollow and meaningless.

When it comes to effective communication, one should also be wary of first impressions. Let us say we meet or hear someone and are immediately impressed. That is great. But if the next time we encounter this same person they are contradicting themselves in word or deed, then that first impression becomes suspect. There is an old saying in baseball circles that a player should not be judged by how they play in one game. Truer words have never been spoken, particularly as they apply to communication. No one hits a home run in every game they play. Nor do they commit three errors in every game either. But watch that same player on the field in, say, 10 to 12 games and you have a much more rounded and accurate perspective of their abilities. The same holds true for someone in what they say and do.

People who give great speeches are to be applauded. People who make good first impressions are to be envied. But what that person is like the next day or the day after in terms of their behavior and words? Whether it is in politics or our own day-to-day encounters with others, my advice is to look for the tortoise in that person rather than the hare.

The Right Words

Words are such elusive and tricky things. It seems like the time you need them the most is also the time when they are the most difficult to find. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself in that regard. No doubt, we all have found ourselves in situations from time to time when we are flustered and/or tongue-tied. Yet there do seem to be those who get less stymied than others. What is their secret? How do they do it? I wish I knew exactly because many of the people I tend to admire the most are those who seem to have a great talent for pulling the right word out of the air that captures the moment, makes it meaningful, pinpoints feelings that ache to be expressed, and are able to lift interaction to a new level.

One thing I do know is that among the people who are good with words are those who are students of words, respecters of language. I'm talking about people who read, people who value connecting with others; people who think in terms of inclusiveness rather than exclusivity. Why these people? It is because these people know words do count. Words provide the foundation on which actions are taken, attitudes are formulated, images are fostered, and ties are bound. Do not take my word for it. Think of a great love song that holds special meaning. Think of a simple statement from a child who whispers, "I love you." Think of Lincoln's address at Gettysburg. Think of FDR's fireside chats. It is all about the words.

Presently, our nation is facing a great many problems that, collectively, seem insurmountable. Fortunately, they are not. However, it is going to take a great deal of sacrifice and wise action to address them. But before any of that happens, it will also take words. They will need to be clear, precise, heartfelt, well conceived, and honest. As we move closer to the next presidential election, one criteria for whom we vote should be which candidate is most apt to deliver words of that caliber.

Our Inner Communicator

Have you ever just left a meeting or encounter with someone feeling frustrated with yourself because you either did not say all the things you really wanted to say or you are unhappy with what you actually did say? I have. Sometimes I will even replay these episodes in my head except I will alter the dialogue - mine mostly - to where I emerge feeling triumphant, validated, vindicated, better understood, better appreciated, etc. While those little trips down fantasy lane do feel good, they do not erase the reality that I did not - and do not- always communicate as well as I would like. Why not?

There are, of course, many reasons why any of us do not think as quickly or articulately on our fee as we would like. Some are more forgivable than others. For instance, we all get flustered, nervous, surprised, emotional, etc. at times to the point where we are not given enough time to adequately digest information that is being shared with us. There are times, however, when even though we are not caught off guard, we still get flustered or "tongue-tied," speak clumsily, or fail to express everything we need or want to say. Again, why?

My contention is that all of have an inner-communicator that we do not listen to as much as we should. Much like our body communicates with us when something is physically wrong, so, too, our inner communicator provides us with guidance on how we should be respond in various situations. Our challenge is to listen when that voice speaks and give its guidance serious thought. This is not always as easy as we might think because doing this takes discipline. Are any of us as disciplined as much as we might like? I am not. But I am working on it so those little fantasy trips I take from time to time can be replaced with replays of what really happened.

Consistency of Message

No one communicates perfectly all the time. We either misspeak or fail to speak in a way that our intended can understand. The matter that the person or persons to whom we are speaking may not be listening to what it is we are saying is another glitch that gets in the way of perfect communicating. One way to help improve the odds that your efforts to communicate are successful is to send out your message in multiple ways. The multiple strategies, if timed well, can also reinforce each other and make your message even more effective.

Potential problems can be if one either does not use multiple strategies or, if they do, fails to ensure that their multiple messages are in sync and not contradictory. Making a romantic dinner date, for instance, is certainly a powerful way of communicating one's feelings toward another. But, then, if you show up for that date either late or drunk or both, then the message you are giving by your behavior contradicts the message you communicated when you made the date in the first place. The key is to be consistent in what you say and do. When one veers away from that simple rule, their credibility is compromised and, before you know it, your ability to communicate at all in a meaningful way is either lost or seriously damaged.

Given the political climate within our nation these days, the question of how well and how consistently the top candidates are in their outreach efforts. As I write this, Senator Obama is leading the polls and, if anything, seems to be building on that lead. What role is his ability to communicate consistently playing in this? On the flip side, Senator McCain's campaign is foundering. Could the fact that the messages he has been communicating have been erratic and inconsistent be one of the reasons for the state of his campaign? Definitely yes. One is consistent in message and one is not. One is enjoying a groundswell of support while the other is not. Obviously there are other factors that are contributing to the ups and downs of this year's presidential race, but none are more fundamental than their ability to communicate with consistent messages.

Responsible Communication

Being able to communicate well is a gift. Whether it comes naturally or with practice and coaching, to be able to connect with an audience in person, in writing, on camera or with your voice on radio, is no small thing. You talk and people actually listen to what you say and how you say it. They are moved. Your words cause them to rethink their own lives, ideas, and perspectives. Perhaps they are even persuaded to take action. In our day-to-day lives, how often does this happen? At least for me, not often.

Yet there are those who do communicate in a manner that is movingly convincing. As listeners we are touched. Perhaps this happens because of the communicator's wealth of knowledge, the circumstances under which they are communicating, or because of the position the communicator holds that causes listeners to sit up and take note. A connection occurs and for that time, the communicator is in a position of power because they are holding sway over those who are listening to them. For the communicator, of course, this is a nice position in which to be. This position, however, does not come free. To paraphrase a line from any one of the movies featuring Spiderman - or was it one of the ones with Superman? - with great power comes great responsibility.

Any time a person is given or has power thrust upon them, they are saddled with the choice of what to do with it: Do good? Bring out the best in those to whom you are communicating? Mislead? Manipulate listeners to suit your own agenda? The choices are many. The responsibility is all-consuming. I look at the many campaign speeches being given these days by our presidential and vice presidential candidates and wonder how responsible they are being with their gift to communicate well. When those to whom you are speaking are moved to scream chants of "kill 'em" and "traitor" about other candidates, then the communicator is not being responsible at all. They are using their gifts for all the wrong reasons and need to be rejected. If a person abuses such a fundamental gift as communication, then can they trusted in any other part of their lives such as political office?

Making Choices

People choose to communicate the way they do. People choose to be direct or evasive; up front or underhanded; truthful or deceptive; insulting or kind. (I was going to include "serious or funny" in that list but from my first-hand experience I know people can try to be funny, yet end be taken seriously or, even worse, not funny.) The national debates and day-to-day speech making currently underway are a case in point. As has been feared, given the history of the last few presidential campaigns in particular, things are beginning to get nasty. Charges of being unpatriotic,dishonest, and corrupt are being tossed about with as much zing as a tennis ball in the final set of Wimbledon.

Arguably, presidential elections should bring out the best in all of us, including the candidates. President of the United States is the most powerful position in the world and deserves more than people who are willing to lie and mislead their way into it. Does any one doubt that we the people deserve more than that, too? Yet in campaign after campaign we seem to accept less-than-decent behavior of candidates and, in some cases, support it. Why do we do that? As ones who are on the receiving end of the messages being sent to us, we need to be more strict in our assessment of those who seek to represent us on the national and international scene.

Constantly, the hope is stated that our nation needs another Lincoln or Washington at its helm. Yet when is the last time we demanded that candidates possess the qualities that we attribute to those two former giants in American history? Looking back at American television, it was once observed that programmers do not give people what they want. Instead people accept what is given them. Perhaps we the people should begin communicating the candidates we really wantas opposed to accepting those who step out behind the curtain each election cycle.

Spin

I have worked in the communications field now for over 35 years, first as a journalist and currently as a press secretary. Over the past few years one term has emerged regarding this profession that really bugs me: spin. Especially as applied to public relations and, more specifically, people like me, it suggests purposeful dishonesty; a twisting of facts; a manipulation of information for the purpose of deceiving. Mainly, I am bothered for two reasons. The first is it suggests public relations practitioners professionals are fundamentally dishonest individuals who are paid to lie and "pull a fast one" on their audiences. The second reason is, sadly, because there are too many instances when that perception is true.

At the risk of generalizing, professional communicators are honest workers who are unfairly maligned. Often times these people are hired to represent one side of an issue or an individual, such as a political candidate. They gather facts. The devise strategies to communicate those facts.They generate plans to present their clients in the best possible light. Those activities, in themselves, are not bad things. Lawyers do the same thing for their clients. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for people to confuse a communicator's vigorous support of a person or an issue as being manipulative or dishonest because they are not presenting a complete picture of an issue. It is important to remember that it is the public relations professional's job to present one side, not both sides, as a journalist is supposed to do.

At the same time, there are professional communicators who do lie, twist the truth, and deceive. They give the field of public relations a bad name because they label themselves communicators. The truth is these "spinners" are not communicators, but in fact are bald-faced liars. These kind of individuals are found in every profession. Sadly, as it is in many walks of life, good liars are often hard to detect and expose. Sometimes they can even get away with deceiving or spinning for years. The run-up to the war in Iraq is a good example. The fact the Bush administration has virtually no credibility right now is one result of the well orchestrated spinning its key players initiated nearly seven years ago. What they did was not public relations. It was being dishonest.

I will be writing more on the work of public relations practitioners and the work they do. Make no mistake, ones that are good and reputable are not dishonest. They are just doing their job.

Bumper Stickers

I like clever bumper stickers as much as the next guy. They are fun to look at while you sitting in your car at a red light trying to remember what it is you are supposed to pick up at the grocery store. It is almost like one of those brain twisters we see in magazines, for instance, that are supposed to be fun, yet harmless challenges. The key word here is "harmless" because the last thing I want is to be reminded of how little I know and then feel bad about it. But while I do not have a problem with bumper stickers, I am concerned with politicians and other public leaders who speak in what I call bumper sticker lingo.

It is one thing to try and explain complicated issues in ways that people can understand. That is, after all, what good communication is all about. But it is quite another to, for the sake of simplification, misrepresent an issue. That is not good communication, nor is it being honest. The current financial crisis of our nation that seems to be unfolding before our eyes is a case in point. This is a complicated matter that even economists are working to get a handle on. What are the causes of this problem? Can it be adequately addressed? How much of a burden will average taxpayers be forced to carry as a result this calamity? Is what we are currently witnessing the tip of the iceberg? The questions go on and on and probably will continue to do so for years to come. This is a very complex issue and cannot be explained away with a glib phrase or two.

This is why, in addition to everything else, our leaders need to focus on being good communicators regarding this issue and do an effective job of explaining it in ways that do justice to it and do not mislead the public. People will be more likely to support steps that the government ultimately takes if only they feel they are being treated fairly and honestly. Therefore, we need to beware of bumper sticker phrases , particularly on issues of this nature, because the odds are they are not conveying the whole truth. The fact is we are smarter than bumper stickers phrases even though we may not always be able to figure out what the driver in the car in frotn of us is really trying to say in the bumper sticker phrase stuck on the back bumper of their car.

Actions and Words

Make no mistake, everything we do as well as say communicates something about us. It gives a glimpse as to where we are at that particular moment. It suggests what is on our mind. Ultimately, it gives others insight into what kind of person we are. This, of course, is not to say that people always interpret our actions correctly or fairly. At times, they don't. At times, people completely misread our actions and end up assessing us as a person incorrectly. When this happens, it is unfair to us and them. This is why it is important for us to give as much thought to our actions as we do our words.

What are we communicating when we smile? What are we communicating when we see someone slip on an ice patch and simply keep walking? What are we communicating when as a presidential candidate we nominate a person who's experience people question to be our running mate and then parcel out her public exposure to the national media as economically as bread at a breadline? People around you draw their own conclusions and act accordingly.

My point here is not so much to make a political statement as it is to reinforce the old adage that actions do speak as loudly as words; perhaps on some occasions even louder. This should not be taken lightly. As a result, particularly if we want others to see us as we see ourselves, then it is important that we be as honest in our actions as we are with our words. Ideally, the two should be as much in sync as are our head and heart. Communication, after all, does matter.

Truth

Since when did truth become so complicated? Isn't truth supposed to be one thing on which we can all agree? For instance, I can look outside my office window and see that it is not raining. How could anyone take issue with that? Who could or would dispute that? The only time that truth will change is if it suddenly starts to rain. At that point, I will come forward with another truth: it's raining. Where things get complicated is when while I sit here looking at the non-rain, a person in Wisconsin may be looking out his or her office window and see that it is raining. Now we have two people telling the truth even though we are directly contradicting each other. How can this be reconciled?

The answer in this simple scenario is easy: each of us has to qualify what we are saying by sharing more information. That person needs to disclose that it is raining outside their office in Wisconsin while I need to say it is not raining outside of my office in Virginia. This is one reason why context is important. It helps put facts in an appropriate frame and therefore makes them credible. Without that proper and accurate context, the so-called truth can be misleading, misinterpreted, and misunderstood. It does not matter how nicely packaged any given truth might be. Statements of truth - as straightforward and simple as they may be - need context. Otherwise, while any one can speak truth, that does not mean what they are saying is true.

The 2008 presidential election is now in full swing and much "truth" is being put forth. But how much of this can be believed? We the recipients of this truth need to hold what we are hearing to the high standard it deserves by insisting all truth told us must be placed in proper context. If not, then we will not accept it as it is being given and will also question the credibility of the person or persons who are attempting to present that truth. Does that mean the candidates' message may need to be a bit more complex than they have been up till now? Maybe. Does that mean we are going to need to be better and more discerning listeners? No doubt. But when one is dealing with such a simple entity as truth, then it is vital that we keep the bar raised as high as possible.

Self Interest

Over two hundred years ago philosopher Adam Smith categorized people as largely being motivated by their own self interest. Men and women, he suggested, act in ways that best serve their own purposes and, ultimately, help them achieve their own goals. Fast forward to the 21st century and it would seem little has changed. (No, I'm not talking necessarily about politicians. That would be too easy. Rather, I'm talking about ordinary people like you and me.) This is particularly true when it comes to communicating.

People share their own thoughts, view things from their own perspectives, and listen with their own ears. The question is how much of this speaking, thinking and listening is done with other viewpoints being part of the mix? While the answer to this fundamental question has not yet been documented, it nevertheless is one for all of to consider as we navigate our way through the challenges of each day. Learning and understanding the perspectives of other people is one way of building a bridge. Not making this effort is nothing short of a bridge to nowhere. (Hmmm. Where have I heard that before?)

Taking the time to grasp what others are saying and thinking may not necessarily cause any of us to change our minds or alter our behavior, but it does make us step outside of our own hides and reinforces the notion that as a member of society, each of us is more than a "me" but instead a "we."

More Heart Vs Brain

Watching the latest round of advertisements being put forth by the McCain and Obama camps, this realization finally struck me: the choice people make as to who they want to be president is not an intellectual one but rather one that is far more emotional. Why else would the advertisements and endless photo ops be more geared to tug at one's heart strings than their brain cells? Why else would so many people - I'm talking to many of you ladies out there in America - feel so excited about Sarah Palin's nomination? Any intellectual argument defending the prospect of her being a heart beat away from becoming leader of the free world is flimsy at best. She may very well be a nice lady but "nice" does not make her or any one qualified.

For at least the past 45 years political camps have been appealing to the emotions of voters. Think of Lyndon Johnson's infamous ad of a little girl playing in a field of clover when suddenly a nuclear bomb goes off as an early example. Sadly, it has been down hill from there. Collectively, these ads have played into the reality that people enjoy illusion. They enjoy seeing what they want to see as opposed to what is really there. The late Peter Drucker once said the primary reason he so admired President Harry Truman was because of Truman's ability to focus on reality and not be swayed by the hocus pocus of deceptive communicators and communication efforts.

Communication matters because it can help people make sound choices. On the flip side, it can also deceive and trick people into making false choices or accepting false realities. It is all in who and what is doing the communicating. Up till now, the McCain camp is leading the pack when it comes to this kind of poor communication. As a voter who works hard at keeping both eyes on reality, I would much rather have a president who is limited and flawed than one that is a poor communicator. Straight, honest talk helps me make good choices that come from both the head and the heart.

Lipstick on a Pig

In a perfect world, there is only truth, no lies. Is there any one among us who has not at least thought that and perhaps even wished for it? One big challenge to making that happen, of course, is getting people to agree on what is truth. It is not necessarily that we "can't handle the truth," so much as that we, as a collective people, have trouble recognizing it. Everyone has their own perspective, bias, and way of looking at what is communicated to them. Most times, it is not as if people are being dishonest or wrong in how they view things. Mainly, it is just that their "take" on things is different. Untruth or dishonesty comes into play only when people approach something with a specific purpose of deceiving or misleading.

A recent example of this is the old adage, "lipstick on a pig." That phrase has been around as long as rock candy and naps on a Sunday afternoon. In our current presidential election, the Republicans are claiming democratic candidate Barrack Obama was referring to Sarah Palin, the republican's vice presidential candidate, as a pig in a speech he gave recently on the Republican Party's various policies. Do they really think that a presidential candidate would call an opponent a pig? (Please know I mean no disrespect to pigs.) I think not. But to hear some of the Republican spokespeople talk, they are convinced that is exactly what Obama did. One only has to take a few moments to play back this part of Obama's speech to judge for themselves.

Are these spokespeople being truthful or are they trying to deceive? With less than two months left in the 2008 presidential campaign, is this really what we the American public need to be contemplating? Is a debate on "lipstick on a pig" really the one we want to be having as we approach election day? Again, I think not. Yet this seems to be the debate that is being thrust upon us whether we want it or not. Deception is no stranger to communication, but neither is honesty. People make talk at us with deception in their hearts, but that should not prevent us from listening with honest ears and recognize the whole of what is being said.

Communicating Love

Over eight years ago I joined the Big Brother/Big Sister program. After meeting with a counselor within the program, I was introduced to a kind, but no-nonsense lady who was looking for a male figure to mentor her grandson. She took a liking to me and within the week I was introduced to her 12-year-old grandson. This young boy has now become a young man and is now too old to be considered a little brother. But he will always be my "little brother" much as he will always be my friend and, dare I say it, th son I never had. I have blessed to have him in my life.

Last week, his grandmother died. She lived alone and apparently had been gone for several days before her body was discovered. Even though I am purposefully not mentioning her by name nor sharing too many details about her life in order to honor the privacy of her and her family, this entry is a small tribute to a woman who took me into her heart. I also honor this person because she demonstrated that love is a feeling that is communicated not just by words or Cole Porter songs or flowers on special occasions, but by deed and determination and, at times, grit. Love is not always easy to give when the person to whom it is directed is behaving badly or whose attention is directed elsewhere. But love, nevertheless, is at its most inspiring when it is given in times of neglect and turmoil and doubt.

In the years I knew this lady, she faced many challenges with those she loved, yet her heart never wavered. She faced many reasons to doubt, yet her heart never faltered. She faced many
moments of neglect, yet her heart never turned elsewhere. Perhaps this lady was not the most articulate of people, but she was a great communicator just the same. She proved that communicating love is the most formidable of connections.

Heart vs Brain

How could any one not write about the presidential race nowadays? It's everywhere and that's how it should be. After all, this nation of ours is about to choose the next leader of our country and the person who will be the next leader of the free world. From a communication standpoint, it is fascinating to listen and watch the appeals being made by both parties as they strive to generate support. Basically, I lump their messages into two primary categories: ones that appeal to our emotions or the heart and ones that appeal to our intellect or brains. Sometimes, of course, they try to do both as was the case in Senator Obama's acceptance speech at the recent democrat convention. On the other hand at the republican convention, his opponent, Senator McCain, attempted to push our emotional buttons much like his running mate, Governor Pulin, did the previous night.

Which is the most effective strategy? Appeals to the heart? Appeals to the brain? Both? When alone in the voting booth, do voters vote with their hearts or their heads? More to the point, do people make good decisions when they act only with their heart or head? Ideally, the heart and the brain are supposed to be a team. But when one member of the team is left on the bench, then the odds of good decisions being made are reduced. Is this what our candidates want? Sadly, it would seem so. Even a quick review of presidential campaigns over the past 45 years reveals blatant attempts by candidates from both parties to push our emotional buttons. The examples range from Lyndon Johnson's 1964 ad with a little girl and a nuclear explosion to George Bush's 1988 Willie Horton ads to George W. Bush's 2004 wolves-at-the-door ads.

Of course, a strong, emotional message can be quite effective. These three ads are examples of successful emotional appeals. But just because a candidate makes an emotional appeal does not mean that same message needs to be received in an emotional way. Receivers of a message are just as much in control in any communication exchange as are the senders. Between now and election day, there is little doubt all of us will be overwhelmed with emotional appeals. As we process them, let us do so with both heart and brain. Too much is at stake for us not to utilize all of our inner resources as we determine who and what are best for our nation.

More On Listening

One of the tricky aspects of communication is there is no guarantee people on the receiving end of a message will understand that message in the way it was intended. All of us have our internal filtering system and, as a result, tend to place their own "spin" on what we just been told or have just witnessed. Sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. Either way, it makes the act of listening that much more challenging because that requires putting aside our own biases and predispositions - at least for a few moments - and trying to look at things from another person's point of view. Like eating a peanut sandwich without having a cool glass of milk to wash it down, it's easier said than done.

Too often people confuse good listening with agreement. Nothing could be further from the truth. Good listening begets good understanding. Good understanding begets good communication. It is important to remind ourselves that being a good listener is not a sign of weakness or a sign of being wishy-washy. In the aftermath of the attacks of September 11, 2001, for instance, many were criticized by the government for calling for the United States to gain a better understanding of why the terrorists took the dramatic steps they did. Perhaps if the government itself had taken steps to do this, then the ultimate they took in our so-called war on terror would have been different and, better yet, more successful.

Words Matter

Earlier this summer Senator Obama's appearance in Germany before an estimated 200,000 people was mocked by his opponents as being unimportant and trivial. Obama, it was claimed, is little more than a celebrity in a realm similar to that of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears - amusing at best, but, overall, not to be taken seriously. While my intent here is not praise Obama or to criticize Senator McCain, the arrogance and contempt of the reaction to that particular event cannot be left unaddressed, particularly as it applies to communication.

The next president of the United States will be either Obama or McCain. That's it. Nobody else. What these two men say, how they say it and where they say it matters because it is one of these two individuals who will be representing our country and, as a result, be viewed as the leader of the free world. They are vying for the honor of speaking on our behalf. We as Americans are being judged by them because it is one of these two individuals who we have determined are the best equipped to carry out the responsibilities of the presidency. They, in essence, are us. Consequently, their words do matter. They matter a lot. Certainly, over 200,000 Germans thought so on that summer day. To pretend the words of Obama or McCain do not matter is to do a disservice to all of us. While it is alright to disagree with the words the two candidates put forth, it is not alright listen to anyone who says those words should be ignored or tossed aside like yesterday's potato chips. The words pertain to matters of the gravest consequences: peace, war, hunger, prosperity, health, education, ethics and compassion. They are words that define us as much as the actions we take that are based on the words the two candidates speak.

Communication is in the Air

With the Democrat's convention now underway and the Republican's turn to follow, communication is very much in the air. They talk. We listen. They tell us why they should be the ones who will lead us to better times over the next four years and we make our decisions based on what it is they say. Isn't that the way it works? After all, don't "they" know what's best for us? Don't "they" have the best sense of what troubles us and what can or should be done so that we feel better about our lives and the hurdles we face each and every day? Assuming for a moment that the two parties have the best of intentions and really are coming from a good place, are we confident that they know what is and has been on our minds these past seven years? Have they really been listening to us just as they want us to listen to them now?

Communication at its best is a two-way street. It is circular and comprises an ongoing exchange between two or more parties. If that is not happening, then effective communication is compromised. A government "of the people and by the people" is based on the premise of elected leaders representing the will of the people. If those leaders are not listening, then they are not communicating with us. And if they are not communicating with us, then we are not being represented.

Of course, we want leaders who are honest and knowledgeable and competent. But we also want leaders who are good communicators. That includes being a good listener. As we watch the remainder of the Democrat's convention and then do the same next week with the Republican's showcase, one fundamental question we need to ask ourselves is: Which party has been doing the best listening? Which party and which candidate will be the best listener over the next four years? Theoretically, we place high value on our elected officials being honest individuals. We should place no less emphasis on their ability to listen as well.