Sunday, February 24, 2019

Repeated Messaging is Important

"The Boy Who Cried Wolf" is an interesting tale on several levels. On the one hand, it drives home the point that one should not be deceitful as such actions have ramifications that can affect others. Also, being dishonest can and does compromise one's credibility. But on the other it illustrates how when one does have credibility, it can affect how others behave. When the boy cried wolf the first two times, the towns folks took up-arms and came running. Triggering that kind of response is no small thing. (Unfortunately, the boy was lying so after that second false alarm, the town stopped responding to his cries. This proved to be bad news when the wolf actually did appear.) 

In May, 2011, in Joplin, Missouri, nearly 160 people were killed by a devastating tornado. At the time, that was the most people that had ever been killed by a single tornado in recorded history. Folks there are still reeling from the affects of that giant storm. Ironically, several hours prior to the tornado's arrival the National Weather Service warned folks that this major force of destruction was approaching. The warnings went largely unheeded. "The majority of Joplin residents did not immediately go to shelter upon the hearing the initial warning," is one of the findings of a report conducted by authorities following the storm.

What is one to make of this? Yes, the National Weather Service had as much, if not more, credibility then that boy who cried wolf. So why did not citizens of Joplin pay more attention to their warnings? My sense is this goes beyond the less-than-positive feelings people have been having toward the federal government. It speaks more to one particular challenge when it comes to effective communication. The experts at the National Weather Service failed in not doing nearly enough to prepare the citizens for the possibility of a major storm. Communicating effectively often requires repeated messaging. Generally, people respond better when properly prepared. The fact this did not happen then proved to be very costly.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Loud

Am I the only one who feels things have gotten a good deal louder lately? More and more I am coming to believe the volume of life seems to be on the rise. Case in point: the other night my wife and I  were having dinner with old friends at a local restaurant. Nothing fancy. Just catching up and hanging out. Around us were other patrons as well as at least a dozen television sets scattered throughout the establishment all tuned into some type of sporting event. For me, at least, the result is if I had something to say, then I had a lot of competition. If I wanted the people I was with to hear me with little difficulty - which I did - then I had to speak with a raised voice. It was the same with them.

My guess is folks at the other tables faced the same challenge. As the sounds around us increase, all of us end up adding to the higher noise. Where will it end?  For now, it seems as if we have two primary options: out-loud the loudness or try and remove ourselves from it. Relocating to a quiet setting sounds great, of course. After all, who among us doesn't like "peace and quiet.?" But even with that, there seems to be a growing phenomenon. We often end up placing ourselves in a setting that is not quiet. In my case, for instance, when I read or want to collect my thoughts, I prefer doing so with music that I enjoy. No true quiet there.

I know lots of folks who, when home alone, feel a need to turn on their television in order to have some noise. Are we addicted to noise? Yes. As social creatures, noise provides us with some level of connectivity so that we know we are not alone (even when we might want to be). All this is fine and no doubt has it has been for much of mankind's existence. But then there's the matter of volume or as the Grinch said, "All the noise, noise, noise!" Noise is fine so long as it does not interfere with communication. It is also important that we do not make the mistake of confusing noise with actual communicating.





      

Monday, February 18, 2019

A Supervisor's Challenge

Supervisors are easy targets. There are few things in life that are easier than poking holes in the actions of person in-charge. Whether it is the chief executive of a major corporation or a person who is responsible for the actions of a small unit within that corporation, those with the title of "boss" rarely get through a day without having their actions second-guessed or ridiculed. While I am not saying there are not times when their actions shouldn't be challenged, it is also important to note that supervisors have jobs to do, too, and deserve fair assessment as much as any of us. This is particularly true when it comes to communicating.

Perhaps the most fundamental aspect of any supervisor's job is to make sure those under them are meeting their responsibilities in accordance with the guidelines and wishes of their organization. Doing this, at times, requires the boss to correct the work of their subordinates or, more broadly, change the behavior of those they oversee. A big challenge of the supervisor here is to take these steps in a way that does not compromise the morale of the employee. This is particularly true in the context that most of us do not like being corrected even though we may recognize its periodic necessity.

Meeting such a challenge calls upon the supervisor to exhibit a consistent level of sensitivity to the feelings of those they are about to correct. "Thank you for putting together this report, Delores. It's a good draft, but there are a few spots in it that need fixing." Such a statement is one way a supervisor might want to begin a necessary conversation with one of their workers. While people still may not like being corrected, they are more likely to be receptive to their boss' assessment if their initial effort is acknowledged. To this degree, co-workers do not usually have to worry about the feelings of others. Good supervisors do. Does this mean people still won't criticize their boss? Of course not. But it does reinforce the reality that supervisors who communicate with a level of sensitivity are generally more effective and enjoy greater loyalty from their workers.    




     

Friday, February 15, 2019

Long Live the Fourth Estate

Let me say right up front that the press in the United States is not the "enemy of the people." Any one labeling them as such is more deserving of that title then the press or media will ever be. Since becoming President over two years ago, Donald Trump has hardly let a day pass without not only being critical of the American press, but charging them with working against the interests of the American people and the country itself. Even now, it is hard to believe that a President of the United States, who took an oath to support and defend free speech and a free press, would put forth these baseless charges with such regularity. What is equally upsetting is the fact that so many of his followers seem to believe him.

Watching tapes of Trump's speeches and rallies is difficult because of all the anger and hate that comes from this man. Like all presidents, he has an active and enthusiastic base of core followers. Based on what I have viewed, so many of these folks seem to hang their hats on everything Trump says without taking the time to determine if any of what he is saying is true or valid or with some degree of substance. It does not help that Trump himself has not taken the time to fully explain why the press is the people's enemy other than to not like what they report. Nevertheless, he is the President and because of that people pay attention to his every word.

The press is vital to the standing of our government and, more to the point of this blog, a key element in the level of communication that occurs in each our daily lives. I will strongly support the freedom of our press - "The Fourth Estate" - as long as I live. Yes, may years ago, I was a reporter. But far beyond that, I recognize for our country and its elected officials to come even close to succeeding, an independent voice is needed to help keep them and all of us on-track. The great majority of press outlets - broadcast and print - are highly responsible and dedicated to reporting truth. Trump would do better if he acted more like the press.


Tuesday, February 12, 2019

"In the Bucket"

Let me begin with an obvious statement: "Nobody wants to get beaned on the head with a baseball." Such an occurrence, particularly when thrown by a professional pitcher, can literally be fatal. Pitchers, in fact, count on this innate fear that batters bring with them to the plate. This is one big reason curve balls can be so effective. The pitcher throws the ball toward the batter's head but plans for it to curve down and over the plate just before reaching the batter. The trained batter, of course, usually recognizes a curve but nevertheless has seconds to decide whether the ball is actually going to curve or, instead, keep going toward his head. A wrong choice could either mean a missed pitch or getting beaned.

Those times when the batter steps away, it is called "stepping into the bucket." While we all understand self-preservation, the hard-truth is stepping into the bucket is a bad habit for any batter to get into. This is because it makes them highly vulnerable to any pitcher with a good curve ball. Nevertheless, it is one weakness many batters share and one that is hard to break. As is the case with hitting a baseball, communicating carries with it a number of bad habits as well. These include talking over the person with whom you are interacting, not listening, not trying to share thoughts in ways that others can more easily understand, and not giving others a chance to talk at all.

Granted, these communication bad habits can and do much to stifle and, at times, even kill conversations or meaningful interacting. Like stepping into the bucket, they can also be difficult habits to break.  Often people enter into a conversation with the intent of sharing their thoughts or perspectives. They want to be heard and understood and, consequently, place little value on hearing what others might have to say. The irony here is that such a mind-set also takes away from the initial goal of being heard. Those on the receiving end sense they are not being listened to and often either give-up on a conversation or try to talk-over the person who is talking-over them.    




Friday, February 8, 2019

Irresponsible Communication

The other day I came across a paper I had written for one of my graduate classes ten years ago. (For the record, re-reading old stuff is always dangerous because I inevitably identify ways I could and should have phrased things more effectively. This old paper on organizational communication was no exception.) That aside, the gist of the paper was how much influence a supervisor's style of communicating has on communication within an entity or organization. If a boss, for example, is one who tends to keep to him or herself, then that often shapes how their employees interact. On the other hand, if the boss is more open and accessible, then that tends to have an impact on how the workers interact and go about meeting their responsibilities.

Looking back, one take-away from this paper is how our personal styles or preferences of communicating affect others. None of us communicate in isolation or without influencing those around us. Go into any office situation or even a social gathering and you can easily see how folks react and/or relate to those who are more gregarious versus those who are quiet and a bit stand-offish. Generally, we are who we are in terms of  how we relate with others. As part of that, however, how we behave is often shaped by how others behave around us.

While such a reality does not automatically make communication a team sport, it does reinforce the notion it is very much a social reflection of our own personalities. How we communicate affects others. My sense is at times we tend to forget that. An easy example is a youngster who has a tantrum in a public setting. The child begins screaming and acting-out with no regard, thought or concern as to how those in their vicinity are affected. Such behavior is selfish and falls under the umbrella of what I would label irresponsible communicating. No matter our age or circumstance, all of us should strive to avoid such behavior.  

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Beware of Over-Confidence

Over-confidence can be a real killer (not so much in the literal sense, of course, but in that it can get in the way of success or achieving one's goals). We enter into a situation with no doubt that simply going through the motions will be enough to secure the result we wish. Such often happens when it comes to communication. "All I need to do is state my piece and whatever concerns or questions others might have will vanish," we tend to think. I have certainly been guilty of this and my guess is others have, too. After all, we are on-board with our perspective and  assume the power of it will easily sway others.

Such an attitude reminds me of the famous poem, "Casey at the Bat," written in 1888 by Ernest Lawrence Thayer. Casey was the star of his team - a great slugger as recognized by all. Despite the fact his team was down by a few runs, his coming to bat with runners on base in the last inning filled everyone with delight as they knew Casey would come through as he had so often done in the past. No one was more confident then Casey himself. As he strode to the plate, the cheers and laughter from the crowd fed into his unshakeable certainty. After all, as described by Thayer, he was
"the mighty Casey."      

As we all know, Casey strikes out. It turns out the other side had a perspective that not only did not agree with Casey's, but it turned out to be more convincing. In fairness to Casey, none of us achieve or goals every time at bat. We, too, strike-out or at least fail to hit the home run that we assumed we would hit. This points to a key reality of communication: nothing should be taken for granted. Effective communicating involves preparation that includes looking at and understanding other perspectives. It involves appreciation the fact that not all communication efforts are successful. Consequently, none should be taken lightly.  

Friday, February 1, 2019

Anger

Perhaps the most basic of human emotions is anger. Though often unpleasant and, at times, over the top, it is an emotion we all experience. In fact, a  number of anger-related studies suggest that many of us carry around some level of anger on a regular basis. My guess many would initially deny that but upon closer reflection admit that it truer than we might care to admit. For me, as I write this, I feel a bit of anger toward a number of things, including the current frigid temperatures, bogus emails, and myself for not taking care of a as many items on my to-do list as quickly as I want. Before that, I felt anger toward a fellow passenger on a flight I took recently in Australia. And so it goes.

Given this emotion that is both fundamental and one that probably most of us would rather not being carry around inside, the question becomes from a communication perspective, what is the best to contend with it? How can we effectively deal with anger in ways that do little or no harm to either ourselves or those around us? The first step is to acknowledge our anger. Everyone feels it from time to time, so it is not something we should pretend does not exist. Own it. Our anger belongs to us and should not be dropped into the lap of another. In other words, regardless of what might be triggering it, our anger represents what we are feeling. Consequently, it needs to be embraced as our issue with which to deal.

Yes, while the person next to us may be acting like a jerk or external forces such as the weather may be upsetting, the responsibility of what we are feeling belongs to us. Following that, I see little problem with being open about it. Let the person you are with know that you are angry regardless of whether it has to do with them or something else. Once you have, in a sense, gone on record of owning this particular feeling, then you are accountable for being the one to deal with or process it. Accountability as it relates to communication is what gives what you say or do greater credibility. Such openness helps shape responsible behavior.