Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Numbers Game

The statemebnt "it takes two to tango" has been stated so often and for so long that it - and math - seem to be beyond refute. Still, I do find myself wondering every so often if it would be possible for three to tango. I suppose the choreography might be a bit trickier, but I bet it could be done. This leads me to wondering: how many does it take for communication to occur. One? Two? More than two? My sense is the answer to this question might not be as clear as the tango question. After all, in a pure sense, one person can make noise and therefore be said to be communicating. But if there is no one else around to hear that noise and possibly react to it, then did an act of communication actually occur?

I will leave it to others to wrestle with that. Instead, it seems more beneficial to speculate on the act of communicating itself rather that on whether a verbal or non-verbal act from an isolated individal constitues communication. Such an act, to be purposeful and successful, requires more than one. A sender and receiver need to be part of the mix. An actor and reactor. This is especially the case if one accepts the concept - as I do - that there are two primary purposes of communication: to persuade or to establish/maintain partnership. The scholar James Grunig and Todd Hunt are the ones that set forth this notion. It continues to be relevant today.

This, then, brings me back to numbers. There is the sender - one - and a receiver - two. However, suppose one is attempting to connect with multiple people? Does that grow the number of people it takes to communicate to a potentially unlimited total? My answer, based on the effectiveness of communication, is two. Every act of communication is based on the premise of reaching or connecting with another. One person responds to an overture such as an outreached hand. One person acts buys a product in respond to a fancy advertisement. Depending upon such variables as the range of the communication act first triggered by the sender, the effort can include multiple numbers. But at its most fundamental, communication, like the tango, comes down to one plus one.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Old Timers & Up and Comers

I guess you can say it is another example of the circle of life. Perhaps coincidentally, lately I have attended a number of meetings at which in attendance were veteran supervisors and their recently-hired assistants. Throughout the meetings, I was struck by several things: at how often the veterans deferred to their less-experienced assistants; and how articulate those young assistants were. While I am in no way suggesting these particular supervisors are in any way representative of all veteran supervisors, I did find it interesting they seemed to be making a conscious effort to let their underling have the spotlight.

Being professionally generous is a good thing on many levels. From a communication standpoint, it is an effective way of letting the assistant or person who is not the boss know they are valued and appreciated, that their abilities are recognized, and that their professional growth is a priority to the office. Further, it lets others know that the assistant is to be respected. Also, for me, watching those supervisors voluntarily relinquish the spotlight demonstrates the particular veteran places great importance on the needs of their office rather on just feeding their own egos.

Communication is an act of sharing. Connecting with others and then taking steps to maintain that connection requires what I call a "we" mentality rather than an "I" one. This perspective is better served if it comes from the person who is either in-charge, has seniority, or who is older-in-age. Generally, it is that person who has the clout or power. Consequently, power is better served when it is shared generously rather than used as a hammer over others. The supervisors I witnessed demonstrated a generosity that greatly benefited their own status, that of their staff member, the organization which they both serve, and the communication efforts between them.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Another Progressive Era?

The emergence of the tea party movement and protests against Wall Street that have spread at various levels of intensity throughout our country have helped serve as a reminder that people, when pushed hard enough, are willing to step outside their comfort zones and speak out against wrongs they perceive to have been done against them. These movements remind me of several major social trends that occurred in the United States between 1890 - 1917, a time span that has come to be called the progressive era. This era, which contributed greatly to the kind of growth and general acceptance of public relations that we see today, was characterized by the beginnings of technological advancements in communication and a search for consensus among peoples from different backgrounds.

There were other important trends in this era of bygone years that I am seeing signs of today. They are the growth of institutions, the growth of advocacy, and a possible expansion of democracy. Toward the latter part of the nineteenth century, citizens expressed disenchantment at what they perceived as a great centralization of power among a handful of business tycoons, including Rockefeller, Morgan and Carnegie. Today, similar outrage is emerging against various corporations and major banks and their blatant efforts to consolidate their power. As today's protests grow, a great deal of speaking-out is happening from those serving as advocates on behalf of the protesters as well as those supporting the wealthy.

Democracy itself received a real boost in the progressive era. Thanks to the sustained effort by many of our current protestors, the potential for that happening today is great, especially if those involved play their communcation cards correctly. Obviously, movements with many voices do not always put forth coherent, precise messages. That has not yet happened today. But the fact voters are rumbling and making their dissatisfaction known is an indicator that they will not be sitting the upcoming congressional and presidential elections out. This, in itself, will be good for our democracy. I urge the protesters, no matter their political affiliations and despite opposition against them, to continue communicating their unhappiness. It makes me hopeful that a better tomorow is just over the horizon.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Too Many Meetings?

In one of CNN's recent unscientific daily polls, people were asked to comment on whether where they work has too many meetings. Fifty-five percent of respondents said "yes." The results of this survey are not a surprise. In all my years in the work force, I have yet to hear any one say they do not go to enough meetings or that they wish they could attend more. If anything, a constant refrain I hear is the complaint that people say they do not have enough time to actually do their job because too much of their days are taken up by attending meetings. I have been known to make that same comment myself, too.

Lately, however, my opinion about meetings has changed. Though I will be the first to admit that many are poorly run and are allowed to run-on far too long, I am no longer of a mind they are a waste of time or are somehow separate from work employees have to do. Meetings represent an important element in the communication process that all employees need to follow as they strive to meet their own responsibilities. They are a time when individuals come together to discuss and devise strategies for successfully dealing with issues of mutual concern. This is no small thing. More often than not, work-related challenges are best confronted by more than one person because most of the time these challenges and their proposed solutions affect more than one person.

Communication is a team sport and meetings represent that. It provides individuals with an opportunity to move beyond themselves and participate in an effort to serve a greater good. It represents a valuable opportunity for workers to shift from "I" to "we." The challenge for those running the meetings is to ensure they are conducted in an efficient and respectful manner. Collaboration is important, yet so, too, is giving people the chance to be heard in a forum where others listen.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Communication Congestion

I live in Northern Virginia, a part of the country that is characterized by its high level of traffic. It is just outside Washington, D.C. What we affectionately call "the beltway" wraps around the nation's capital. Almost all the time traffic on this stretch of highway is bumper-to-bumper. The result is many of us who live near it do all we can to either avoid it or figure out ways to minimize the amount of time we have to be on it. The downside of that, of course, is often times the so-called side roads off the beltway become congested, too. Consequently, it feels as if we are at a point where traffic congestion in our region is unavoidable.

More and more I am coming to the conclusion the same holds true with communication congestion. There simply seems to be no way to avoid it. In the case of heavy traffic, the highways are filled with drivers intent are trying to get where they are going. That is their "message." In the case of communication, there seems to be an ever-increasing amount of messaging underway, too. More and more, it is becoming a greater challenge for any of us to be heard, to ask questions, to raise concerns, or even enter into an ongoing conversation. This is not healthy, nor is it helpful to our society if it continues.

We need avenues by which to communicate even more than we need highways on which to drive. Given that so many of us spend part of our days on the road, this may sound like a strange thing to say. Nevertheless, if one views communication as an essential element of how we fulfill our own fundamental need to connect with others, then it is apparent this cannot be ignored. My concern is one major reason for what I perceive to be a growing sense of dissatisfaction among people in our country and in many parts of the world is communication congestion. Communication efforts to enter into a dialog with others are backing-up. As a result, our society's level of frustration is growing. Those with whom many of us are trying to communicate, including political and corporate leaders, need to be more accessible and start doing a better job of listening.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Communicating With Zealots

More and more I am coming to the conclusion that we live in an age of zealotry. It seems every where one turns there are views being expressed that are absolute with no room for nuance, gray area or ambivalence. The only thing missing is people pounding their fist on the nearest table as they spout their opinions with total and uncompromising conviction on any number of issues. Turn on talk radio or many of the cable shows on television, for instance, and right before your eyes or ears is a full display of zealotry in action. People state their views with a straight forward conviction that I can only describe as fanatical.

From my own standpoint, I find this to be pretty impressive and amazing. I say that because if there is one thing about me as I get older that I have noticed, it is the fact I am becoming less certain about most everything. With annoying and increasing frequency, I find myself seeing various sides of an issue to the extent that I realize wisdom is often a lot more widespread than I had first thought. It does not belong to just me or anyone who agrees with me. Yet there are people on the air waves who are so insistent that only their views are both valid and accurate. Other views are simply dead wrong and forever will be.

Maybe certainty is on the rise because what we are seeing and hearing in the media teaches us that people who do not change their mind or adjust their thinking when circumstances change are more trustworthy or morally strong and, therebefore, better leaders. I pity the person who is ever labeled "flip flopper" even though inconsistency and flip flopping are part of what makes all of us human. Zealots are nearly impossible to communicate with. Their blind conviction, even if based on fact or reasonable bias, makes it extremely difficult for them to listen or be open minded to those with a different perspective. Ideally, all of us should possess a healthy degree of uncertainty that challenges us to learn more about various issues, yet reminds us that we need to keep an open mind to those who see things differently than we do.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Importance of Self-Assment

So often we hear people talk about how they are caught up in "the same old rut." Their days, they say, are the same with little variation from one to the other. While I can certainly understand how people might feel this way - I know I certainly do from time to time - the fact is it is not true. No two days are the same no matter that we might eat lunch at the same time, interact with the same folks, watch the same television shows or walk the dog in the morning and at night. But while each of those activities may be similar, they are also quite different because of us. We are not the same every day. We just may feel we are because what we do - our routine activities - do not vary all that much.

We should not confuse who we are with what we do. For the record, I also believe we are not what we eat despite the popularity of that particular observation. Each day a new us appears. One morning, for example, we may be super groggy because we did not sleep all that well. Other mornings we may leap out of bed because our smoke alarm went off and we thought the house was on fire. These particular scenarios have an impact on us as we proceed with the rest of the day. They affect our moods, our perceptions, our interactions, and our choices. Granted, the impact may be slight, but the fact is it may also be significant. Either way and irregardless of what scenario occurs that does affect our psyche, it is enough to alter us on a constant basis; enough to make us ever-changing.

This reality is one reason why communication is so important to us as individuals. To begin, we need to be able to communicate honestly with ourselves as to what our emotional temperature is on any given day and at any given time. Secondly, we then need to determine our communication strategies with others based on what our self-assessment tells us. If our objective is to work well others and we know we are in a grumpy mood, for instance, then we need to devise particular communication strategies that do not let that grumpiness get in the way of our goal of getting along. Sure, this kind of day-to-day challenge can seem a bit overwhelming. But communicating well with ourselves pales in comparison to the challenge of making amends with others because we failed to properly assess where we are at any given moment.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Appreciating Military

All of us have many reasons to admire men and women who serve in the military. They put themselves in harm's way to preserve and protect our nation's way of life as well as to help ensure our personal safety. Granted, while the individuals who serve in the military may have as many personal flaws and issues as the rest of us, their choice to stand between us and enemies of the United States who have violent intent is as admirable and selfless as any other action I can name. I add my name to the long list of others who attach the label "heroic" to our nation's soldiers, current and former.

As one who has taken a number of classes through the years and who currently teaches several communication classes, I have interacted with military personnel in the classroom setting on many occasions. Without exception, I have found them to be personable, good-humored, and hard-working. I even viewed them as "one of us." I say this for the simple reason they are like any civilian in that they, too, are normal people with families who contend with the regular highs and lows of everyday life. But on the other hand, they are different because many of them have served on foreign land as well as engaged in ugly and violent combat. Because of that reality, their level of experience is on a plane different from the many of us who have not traveled that path.

Yet in the classroom setting, we all sit together engaged in the subject at-hand, raising our hand to answer questions or make comments, carrying out assignments, and taking tests. My point, from a communication perspective, is this significant difference can make the reality of interaction between military and civilian inside and outside the classroom much stronger and more enlightening if acknowledged and embraced. Military men and women have perspectives and experiences that can add much to the wisdom the rest of us try to bring to life. As every-day communicators, we need to continue appreciating their day-to-day service out of uniform, too.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Land of Plenty

Over the years I have spent plenty of time in a wide range of grocery and drug stores. I suspect the same holds true for most Americans. Recently, I was in a chain drugstore looking for some odds and ends when I found myself focusing on the high volume of different brands of shampoo. In fact, there were easily two isles of nothing but shampoo. Shampoo. Our country may be dealing with economic hardship right now and the middle and lower classes may be under siege from the upper class, but, rich or poor, people sure are able to take proper care of their hair in the United States. My guess is there are countries in the world that do not even have two shelves of food in their grocery stores.

I realize my observation is not new. But I do wonder in a country that possess so many material things, what kind of impact does that have on our ability to communicate with each other? Does it make it harder? Easier? Does it make people want to connect with others more or less? Or in some way does it make us feel more smug and self absorbed and, as a result, make us only want to talk with others as an excuse to show-off what we have and share our dreams of how we want more? Has our land of plenty set us on a path of perpetual self-indulgence to the extent we as a collective society are only interested in what is best for us even if obtaining it comes at the expense of others?

While there is certainly nothing wrong with possessing or even wanting lots of material things, problems occur when those desires circumvent efforts to identify areas of shared interest. Within effective communication is the opportunity for us to talk about ourselves, our possessions and our goals. But that "me talk" should be compatible with "us talk." There should be a healthy balance between the two. Again, this speaks to the reality that communication as a values-driven enterprise is at its best when individuals are talking with rather than at each other.