More On Listening

One of the tricky aspects of communication is there is no guarantee people on the receiving end of a message will understand that message in the way it was intended. All of us have our internal filtering system and, as a result, tend to place their own "spin" on what we just been told or have just witnessed. Sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. Either way, it makes the act of listening that much more challenging because that requires putting aside our own biases and predispositions - at least for a few moments - and trying to look at things from another person's point of view. Like eating a peanut sandwich without having a cool glass of milk to wash it down, it's easier said than done.

Too often people confuse good listening with agreement. Nothing could be further from the truth. Good listening begets good understanding. Good understanding begets good communication. It is important to remind ourselves that being a good listener is not a sign of weakness or a sign of being wishy-washy. In the aftermath of the attacks of September 11, 2001, for instance, many were criticized by the government for calling for the United States to gain a better understanding of why the terrorists took the dramatic steps they did. Perhaps if the government itself had taken steps to do this, then the ultimate they took in our so-called war on terror would have been different and, better yet, more successful.