Lines in the Sand

In order for communication to work most effectively, the parties involved must be willing participants. If one of the parties involved, for instance, refuses to talk, behave in a civil manner or engage in any kind of dialog, then whatever communication does take place is going to very limited. Granted, sometimes circumstances call for one of the people involved not to talk but the great majority of the time not only do the participants need to behave in a manner that demonstrates their willingness to communicate, but they should also behave in a way that encourages the other party to communicate as well. In other words, it "takes two to tango." Believe me when I say I have seen someone tango alone and it is not all that great.

 I share these thoughts right now in the shadow of heated health care debating that has been going on within our nation for the past year or so. Putting aside the merits of either side of this issue, one of the great problems is that far too often neither side was talking with the other. There was a great deal of talking at but not talking with. If that had occurred, then perhaps so many of the exchanges that took place would not have been so ugly or unworthy of the topic or the people involved. Far too often people, and this includes some of the people we all watch on the various cable news shows, acted as if they were not interested in true dialog or in advancing the debate at all. Instead, they just wanted to call the opposition names and hear themselves talk.

Recently, author and former speech writer for President Bush, David Frum expressed a concern that much of the communicating we have been hearing and seeing in our nation seems to have a violent edge to it. People are so quick to draw lines in the sand in which they firmly state their position and then virtually challenge or dare anyone listening to step over that line. Obviously, the chances of any meaningful communicating happening after that are almost non-existent. Drawing a line in the sand may sound like a brave and strong thing to do, but in reality it's not. Most of the time it's akin to a six-year-old taking his ball and going home or a four-year old having a tantrum in a public place. People with true conviction and courage don't draw lines in the sand. Instead, they keep the channels of communication open and keep working toward advancing their position while helping ensure those in opposition remain part of the process.