"The Real World"

It is rapidly approaching that time of year when high school and college seniors begin seriously looking at the next chapter of their lives. For those who are about to complete the 12th grade, the prospect of college weighs heavily. Where to go? What to major in? What career to pursue? These are all important and challenging questions, ones that often take years to answer. It is not too much different for men and women who are graduating from college. They, too, face challenging and provocative questions that do not always have easy answers. Where can I get a job? Should I continue with my education and begin working toward a graduate degree? Am I going to make enough money to live as independently as I want?

As they grapple with these and other similar questions, the high school and college seniors are practically beat over the head by the so-called wiser adults with advice that inevitably includes the phrase "real world." I admit that as the years have gone by I have to come to resent this phrase for several reasons. Firstly, it suggests the world these students have been in has not been real. Secondly, when used, "real world" is served up with some kind of false, puffed up and delusional sense of self-importance designed to deflate the significant achievement of the graduates. Nowadays, by the time they get to the point of receiving a diploma, the majority of the graduating seniors have been juggling classes and jobs for years. Sure, they are interested in going out and having a good time, but who can blame these young people, some of whom have families themselves, as they navigate their way through weeks that include any where between eight and thirty-six hours of classes and studying on top of part-time and, in some cases, full-time job? Not me.

This is not to belittle the parents of these young adults who attempt to share their perspectives with the young graduates. Good advice can and should always be welcomed. But times of triumph, which graduations represent, should not be compromised with thinly veiled criticisms designed to minimize a celebratory moment. The world of high school and college seniors is just as real as those in which their parents live. It is my hope that well-meaning parents will think twice before attempting to share their perspectives on the next chapter of the graduates' lives. Yes, the advice is important, but so, too, is how it is presented and its ultimate purpose. Collectively, these ingredients help make for effective communication.