Empathy

What makes a good communicator? What ingredients go into creating an individual who connects with others in a manner which paves the way for long term interaction? One part of the answer to these questions is found in the mechanics of communication itself. These include determining how others best like to communicate and then adapting to that style; providing others with an opportunity to respond and communicate their own messages; having a clear sense of what it is you wish to communicate; and establishing a series of measurements to determine the effectiveness of the interaction. These mainstays are part of any successful or effective communication effort and, as a result, should not be discounted.

However, what separates the technically-correct communicator from the one who really shines? If I were writing about baseball, a similar question would be, as a batter, what separated Ted Williams from Willie Miranda? Both knew how to hold a bat and knew what to do with it, but Williams, by far, was the better of the two. How come? What did Williams have that Miranda did not? When it comes to communication, the difference is found in a communicator's mindset. Specifically, I speak of a person's ability to empathize with others. How well can and does a communicator put themselves in the minds and hearts of those with whom they are trying to connect? How well they can see and even feel the perspective of others? How much do they really care what those other perspectives are?

It is difficult, if not impossible, to properly measure how sincerely or deeply one person relates or identifies with another, especially as it pertains to their feelings, hopes and concerns. Regarding communication, perhaps one aspect that makes a person more empathetic than another is that they have deep appreciation of what it is like to communicate unsuccessfully, the frustration, regret and disappointment that it can and often does generate. This awareness could come from their own history of having not communicated well at times and a commitment to helping others not have that same experience. The ability to empathize represents the unknown variable that separates the top-drawer communicators from the others.