Communication in the Moment

While I have always found much wisdom in Thomas Wolfe's famous contention that "You can't go home again," the truth is - as Wolfe himself noted nearly 75 years ago - that one, in fact, can take a trip back to their old haunts. The trick when making such a journey is to remember that time is a constant motion, not something that is immovable. It was a recent visit to the place of my undergraduate studies - University of Tennessee in Knoxville - that triggered these thoughts. Over 40 years had passed since I had set foot on that impressive campus. Going back was fun because I went back not in the guise of how I was but, rather, how I am. In these many decades, UT had changed and so, too, had I. While others may disagree, I believe the evolution of my alma mater and myself  have been for the better.


Looking at life's many elements, particularly communication, it is important to view them as ever-changing. Interactions between individuals, for example, are best when the parties involved communicate as they are at-present rather than try to replicate how they were in the past. Whether that "past" was one day or one year previous, the reality of today cannot and should not be ignored. In the matter of communication, one should assume that just because certain strategies proved successful in the past does not mean they will be as effective in the present. To cling to the past in this way suggests a person who has not grown but merely settled into beliefs that are actually little more than a "series of fixations," to again borrow from Wolfe.  


Of course, we can all enjoy experiences and memories from the past. I sure did while revisiting UT. But when it comes to communicating, it is the present that needs to be embraced. It is our true "home." The past is to be remembered. It is the home that one cannot go back to. Not only does doing so make one vulnerable to repeating their history's mistakes, but depicts one as being unwilling or unable to face present-day challenges. Communication should be an action very much in the moment of today. Carry it out under any other guise is a mistake.