Sunday, June 14, 2015

Turning Twenty

"What's it like being 20?" a student asked me the other day. I can honestly say that is a question I never saw coming. While I welcome different or off-the-wall questions from students, I must say this one will no doubt go down as one of my all-time favorites. This particular student, as you might guess, recently celebrated her 20th birthday. Upon reaching this milestone, the student explained she was hoping it would give her some clarity in terms of her perspective on life in general and, more specifically, her own future plans. It did not. 

As it has been over 40 years since my own 20th birthday, I confess her question gave me pause. The truth is, at times, I have trouble remembering what I was feeling or thinking 40 minutes ago. Forty years is a whole new level. Finally, drawing from my own communication background, I tried to frame my response in a communication context. Nearly 100 years ago Joseph Conrad wrote a book called "The Shadow-Line." Though the plot revolved around one particular adventure of a sea captain, Conrad talked of the shadow line representing a period of transition in one's life. In the case of this student and my own time when I turned 20, I saw such a time as one of transition between youth and adulthood.

As is the case for most of us when we are transitioning from one experience to another, we feel an array of conflicting emotions: clarity and confusion, patience and impatience,  confidence and self-doubt, etc. Such times, of course, are never fun and can cause their fare share of stress. But the good news is those feelings are also normal. They represent our own efforts to grow, seek our own path, and, ultimately, gain wisdom. Trying to figure out life's mysteries and how we can be happy and achieve fulfillment are great questions for any of us to try and address. Further, this type of challenge is not unique to 20-year-olds, nor should it be.

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