Being Yourself

"Just be yourself." How many times in our life has some one given us that sage advice? My guess is a lot. We nod and reflect for a few moments at the simplicity yet profound wisdom of such guidance. The fact is of all the things that could be said, there are, by far, a lot worse. For instance, I have never been a fan of  "Fire when you see the whites of their eyes!" If we literally do that, won't they be practically on top of us? Won't it be too late by then? To my credit, I can proudly say I have never given that advice. (Of course, I have never had reason to, but never mind that.)


But being ourselves is another story. Taken literally, it suggests that one should be behave the way they normally behave, speak the way they normally speak, etc. regardless of the circumstances or who you are with. I am not so sure that is a good idea. I, for one, know enough to not eat soup at a fancy restaurant the same way I do when I am at home. As a result, when I am out in public and am almost finished, I don't pick up the soup bowl and slurp down the remains like I do at home. Given that, the question is: Which one represents me being myself? Is the bowl slurping me or the me who is content not to consume that dish down to the last drop?  


Looking at this from a communication standpoint, it is important to remember that effectively connecting with others involves flexibility and adjustment. People, as one example, do not always hear or process messages the same way. Consequently, the sender of a message needs to frame their words or point in a way that the one on the receiving end will be best able to grasp what has just been said to them. As the message's sender, this means being ourselves requires an ability and even a willingness to not behave and/or speak in the same way all the time.  We need to be nimble and sensitive to our surroundings. Being who we are calls upon us to tap in multiple layers of behavior. "Ourselves," then, wears many hats.