Favor

One of the most difficult communication challenges for any of us is asking a favor of someone. If you ask a friend, it is awkward because you do not want someone you know thinking less of you. Having a need you need another to help you meet is a humbling experience. Most if not all of us do not like appearing any less than at the top of our game, particularly around those we know. The act of asking for a favor of those we know- and vice versa - compromises that perception. Asking a favor of one we do not know or know only slightly is still intimidating as it places us in a somewhat vulnerable position as well.

So, asking a favor is difficult under most any circumstance due to the negative feelings it often triggers. That aside, however, there ihewn other matter: the communication challenge itself. What is the best way to articulate the request? Do you come right out and state your request: "May I borrow your car?" Do you instead begin with an apology: "I'm sorry to bother you or I'm sorry to ask, but may I borrow your car?" Or do you begin with an explanation or lead: "Hi, my car is in the shop, may I borrow yours?" These are all viable ways to state your need but none of them is guaranteed to be successful.

Successfully gaining a favor often involves having a solid understanding of the person you are about to ask. Will they be receptive? Will they give me a hard time about asking? Do they even have what I need? Is this a good time to ask? None of these are necessarily easy questions to seek answers to. Consequently, one should never take asking for a favor granted. Gaining a favor often involves what many have termed "active listening." Know your audience. Anticipate questions you may be asked. Be prepared with pertinent information to support your request. Without question, favor-asking is a tough undertaking. But the good news is effective communication helps raise the chance of success.