Not Going Far Enough

I confess to not being much of a fan of self-help books. The obvious focus of these publications is to help people become better versions of themselves. This includes addressing some sort of fear they might have, help improve their financial situation, identify ways to get ahead in life, or (not-so) simply reach a greater level of happiness. As it stands, this is fine. I, for one, am not opposed to helpful hints as to how I can become a better me. But the problem is that so man of these books seem to place far too greater emphasis on one achieving self-improvement without giving adequate attention as to how such a goal needs to be reached with effectively connecting with others.

For any of us to be the absolute best we can be, then this must include being the best we can be with and toward others. Such a dual trek must be done in tandem rather than treated separately. This is why being what is viewed as a "good person" is not easy. For instance, can a baseball player truly be viewed as being "good" if the only thing he can do is hit as opposed to hit and catch? I do not think so. In other words, for any of us to be the kind of people to which so many self-help books subscribe, then we must be good for ourselves as well as others. This includes actions or steps required in how we may go about trying to save money, lose weight or advance professionally.

All this applies to communication. One cannot be judged a "good communicator" if the only thing they can do is speak well. One needs to be an effective listener as well. In simple terms, the communication process is often described as involving two kinds of people: senders and receivers. If you can do only one well, then, to me, you do not make the "good communicator" list. Sorry. My own bias is that too often society seems to label folks as being able to communicate well because they are effective speech makers. Such a designation, when it occurs, does not do justice to the overall act of communicating well.