Unbeatable Ingredients

There has been much chatter in some aspects of the media regarding President Obama's recent trip abroad. Specifically, some commentators have been very critical of Obama's assessment of recent behavior by our nation that we have been less-than-perfect in how we have behaved and acted toward other nations. (In the same set of remarks, he also noted that that imperfection has worked both ways at times. But, unfortunately, these same critics of the media have chosen to ignore this.) The critics claim that Obama's comments put America in a bad light and to publicly concede or admit to any missteps illustrates a contempt for our country that only serves to invigorate and validate our nation's critics and enemies. All of this, of course, is hogwash.

From a communication standpoint, there are few, if any, things that strengthen a relationship better than honesty and listening. Together, in many ways, they constitute an unbeatable combo. Looking at day-to-day relationships all of us have, only the ones where trust is present are the steadiest and strongest and likely to withstand any ups and downs that may come along. One thing that feeds this trust is being honest when we or either one of the parties involved makes a mistake or behaves in a less-than-acceptable way. None of us are perfect. We all mess up simply because we are not programmed to do otherwise. But a giant turn-off is when we do err and then either try to cover it up, lie about it, or refuse to take responsibility for our actions. Not only does this compound the mistake, it also erodes the relationship.

Listening is another nutrient for trust. It demonstrates respect and a desire to want to keep making a relationship stronger. It also motivates your partner to tune-in to you as work to remain tuned-in to them. While we all like to be heard, it is my contention that even more than that we like building successful connections with others - personal or professional. Being in sync with another validates our own sense of self-worth and need to be the best we can be as we strive to obtain our own life goals. Sustained listening can do just this.

As individuals, all of us can learn from Obama's recent behavior while abroad. Honesty and listening are ingredients that apply to nations, world leaders and the rest of us.