Public Speaking

Over the years, survey after survey has shown the biggest fear people have is speaking in public. There is something about the thought of standing in front of a room of people, mostly strangers, and talking that sends shivers up and down one's back like nothing else. The reason for this, I believe, is pretty simple: none of us want to embarrass ourselves. We do not want others thinking little of us. Standing in front a bunch of people who are watching us, listening to us, focusing on what we are saying, how we are saying it, our body language, our facial expressions, etc. makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. We feel as if we are being judged in a negative way and there is nothing we can do about it.

The question, then, is what can be done to minimize those understandable feelings of insecurity? Of course, the obvious answer is to avoid doing it. If someone offers you a chance to stand up and share your thoughts with the group, you can always smile and decline. It is similar to the question of how one, say, deals with a fear of sharks by not swimming in the ocean. But suppose you enjoy swimming? And suppose doing laps in a backyard swimming pool does not challenge you enough? Or, in the case of public speaking, suppose you have something you feel is worth saying and that others should hear? To combat the insecurity, my suggestion is to wrap yourself in as much security as possible.

Know what it is you are going to say. Know your main talking points. Collect as much supporting information as you can so you can defend your perspectives. Find out as much as you can about the people to whom you are talking. Collectively, this information will help lesson whatever anxiety you may be feeling. It won't eliminate it, but it should give you enough courage to stand up and be heard. For years now, I have been teaching classes, giving occasional talks before groups, and doing interviews on television. Not once have I ever gone into any of these moments not feeling anxious, nervous and wishing it were over. I do not want to embarrass myself any more than any one else. (And the truth is I probably do from time to time.)

That fear of embarrassment is something I believe we all share. No matter how smooth, refined or out going we may be, none of us want to feel anything even related to humiliation. In a funny way, it is that truism that also helps get me through those anxious moments when I am about to step in front of a microphone or up to a podium and talk. Everyone in the audience can relate on some level to the anxiousness I am feeling. They may not agree or connect with what I am about to say, but they are at least on my side for getting up to say it.