What to do About Our Flaws

Everybody has problems. Everybody has flaws. Everybody has weaknesses. Everybody has things they are not very good at. With all that in common, it is hard at times to understand why people do not get along better than they do. Instead, it seems many of us spend so much time trying to cover up these commonalities or pretend we really do have our total acts together. Why is that? Why do we, for instance, laugh along with everyone else at a joke that we do not think is particularly funny or that we do not understand? Why not say, "I don't get it" even if everyone else does? Are our egos so fragile that, given the choice, we deny having doubts, imperfections and limits? It would seem so.

This is too bad, of course, because sharing and being open about our-less-than strongest qualities can lead to honest communicating between people. The great thing about being open over not knowing all the answers or not having solutions to every challenge is that it can lead to honest and effective collaboration. And the best thing about collaboration is that it creates ties that bind. Think of the old expression: "two heads are better than one." Taken literally, not only does this often lead to meaningful solutions, it also helps establish shared trust and better understanding between people. Even if complete solutions are not produced, the mere act of sharing an experience with others is a good thing all by itself.

Granted, not all collaborations are positive. Not all unions work. Some can even create deep-seated problems. But if approached openly, honestly and respectfully, then even unsuccessful or misguided collaborations can leave people better off than they were before such an experience. It is no coincidence the most effective communication plans are based on openness, honesty and respect. As these same qualities are found in the best collaborations - even ones where successful solutions are not found - then good communication is the way to go for all of us when we with our strengths and weaknesses join forces with others and their strengths and weaknesses.