Our Defining Element

What defines us as people? Is it what we eat? Who we know? What we know? Our actions? What we wear? What we say? Our jobs? Our hobbies? My sense is the answer is "all of the above." In fact, it is probably those elements and a whole lot more. We as living beings are complex creatures. The notion that a fair and full assessment of our character could be determined on the basis of a few component parts does not seem right, particularly since a number of those aspects of our personality or character are often seem contradictory. For instance, as a communication professional, I operate as an extrovert. Yet by nature I am much more introverted.

Yet no matter how many component parts there are that comprise the whole of us, it is my sense they all share an important common denominator. (If you guess it pertains to communication, then you get to go directly to the head of the class.) Take the elements I alluded to in the earlier paragraph. Each one represents acts of verbal or non-verbal communication. By associating with certain people, by wearing particular style of clothes, by behaving in specific ways, for instance, we are sending out signals to others that give them insight into who and even what we are. As a result, people begin assessing us as individuals and even begin making certain judgments about us.

If we wish to be defined in a positive light, then the challenge, as I see it, is to be honest in our communication. This does not mean we need to be consistent in our behavior, our opinions or even our words. But what I am suggesting is that we be honest in how we determine our actions, opinions and words. Are they based on facts? Are they carried out in good faith? Are they put forth in a way that acknowledges possible doubts or inconsistencies? Are they respectful of others? If the answer is "yes" to those, then I believe we will have a much better chance or being defined in a positive way even if others do not always agree with us.