Interacting With Strangers

At the end of the day it comes down to how well we get along with each other. If we do, then their is greater hope for the day that follows. If we do not, then the chances of tomorrow being positive in any way are much slimmer. I am of a mind that when it comes to connecting with others, most of us are very similar. We want collegiality. We want respect. We want good manners. And if to those things a smile from time to time is part of the mix, then even better. The desire for those behaviors from others is a commonality. It is something, I believe, we have in common. Collectively, it represents the foundation from which positive communication can happen.

This, then, is where how we actually do communicate with each other begins to get complicated. All of us interact with strangers virtually every day. But the cordality we extend to those we do not know only seems to go so far. Specifically, we often seem to be willing to extend patience and good will to those we know then to those we don't. I have seen people unnecessarily scold the person at a sales register for beng too slow or for innocently miscalculating the final tally on the bill. I have seen drivers get into a shouting match over who has the right of-way at a quiet intersection. Each time I see incidents of this nature I wonder if the same scene would be playing out if the person behind that cash register or the other driver was our best frirend from high school, a second cousin, or one one of our children.

Where does this shortness of patience and good manners with strangers come from? How do we come to believe it is ok to blow-up at those we do not know? Perhaps the seed is planted when as children we are told to not talk to strangers. From that type of early instruction, we take our first step down the path of believing those we do not know are suspect, not to be trusted, not to treated with respect, or not to be given the benefit of the doubt. Of course, adults need to take every step they can to protect their children. At the same time, perhaps there are better ways to do that then by painting people we do not know with such a broad, negative brush.