A Complete Package

Most every semester I ask students to tell me who they believe to be the best communicator. Thus far at least, their responses have mainly been either famous people such as politicians and celebrities. Every so often a student will mention a parent or close relative. All answers, by the way, are fine.  We all have special people in our lives who strike a chord within us no matter whether it is someone who know or know of. Once the students give their answer, my follow-up question is, from their perspective, what makes that person such a good communicator? Generally, they refer to the person's ability to give a good speech or speak well.

Make no mistake, those are no small talents to have. For myself, I would love to be more articulate than I am and to be able to give a speech that many find motivational and inspiring. But even if I could, would that be enough to make me a good communicator? Perhaps. But what about that other, vital part of the communication process that is just as important as the act of sending a message effectively? I speak of listening, the ability to receive a message in a manner that allows one to hear, understand, and empathize with the sender? Doing this and doing it well is no small talent either. I long for the day when, in answer to my questions, a student mentions someone and then alludes to that person's ability to listen as one of the reasons.

Being a good speaker or sender and equally good receiver or listener represents the complete package of communication. Only by having both skills and actively practicing them can or even should one be given the descriptor: "good communicator." As we assess those in our lives who we deem competent in that area, it is important that we not overlook both skills: sending and receiving. Presently, there seems to be a tendency in our culture to overlook the receiving or listening part of the communication equation. This is unfortunate. Society functions better when people talk with rather than at each other. It is time we begin to recognize the total package of communication.