Ever-Shifting Ground

There is a lyric line from an old Kris Kristofferson song called "Nobody Wins" that says, "The loving was easy, it's the living that's hard." Truer words, in many ways, were never spoken, written or sung. Loving another person speaks to the joy, frivolity, what-could-go-wrong attitude that comes with sharing smiles, good times, warmth, and shared interests with another. What is there not to love about that? Living, on the other hand, refers more to dealing with the bumps in the road, disagreements, unexpected turns, setbacks, and imposing challenges that come with life itself. Contending with that, without question, is difficult.


The reality of loving and living applies quite readily to communication. Communicating with another is easy-peesy when there is no conflict, misunderstanding competing agenda, or lack of interest. In such a scenario, it is, in fact fun. All of us, when in total sync with another, are super stars when it comes to communication. Alas, if only that were always the case. But as we all know, it is not.  People often have different and even competing priorities, attitudes and feelings. People also change in terms of their opinions and likes and dislikes. In essence, it is hard for any of us to communicate well while standing on ever-shifting ground.


In these cases - and this is most of the time - communication is more about dealing with life's challenges than it is basking in the thrill of always being understood, accepted and generating the results you want. Being an effective communicator often boils down to having the courage and integrity to persevere, recognizing that no matter how hard one tries, they will never always get the results they want or necessarily expect, and being flexible enough to adjust and come up with new strategies when the unexpected does occur. It was once said that "relationships are hard, dude." To that profound observation, I add: so, too, is communication.