Loss

There are few things in life more permanent or definitive than loss. In sports, for example, one team loses to another. Than cannot be taken back. Once the final tallies are in, one of the participants has sustained a loss. In another scenario, a person loses, say an ear ring. It is gone not to be found again. Thee losses are irreversible. On a deeper level, there is the loss of life. A loved one passes away and that person's physical persona becomes a memory. Sure, there are photos of them, artifacts they once owned, and perhaps even recordings or videos of them. But the actual presence of them where they can be experienced first-hand is gone. It is a loss.

A communication challenge everyone faces in life is helping others cope with the loss a loved-one. What words can adequately fill the gap that has suddenly appeared in their lives?  What message can be put forth that truly balances the pain and sadness they feel from the passing of one close to them? If specific words that do all this exist, then I have yet to hear them. I certainly have not yet been able to conjure them up when talking with one who is attempting to come to grips with such a severe loss in their life. This is not to say I do not try. Everyone does in these situations. To my mind, however, it remains a communication goal that has not yet been met.


Perhaps the best communication strategy at these times is found in not trying to come up with specific words. Instead, it is a time to let feelings - non-verbal communication - take over. The one suffering the deep loss is overwhelmed with feelings. Perhaps it is simply best to match them with like-feelings. Let the feelings take center stage and save the words for another day. At these times, people do not needs words as much as they need hugs and permission to let their emotions takeover for awhile. The experience of loss is a common denominator for us all. Our struggle to properly communicate during such reality is another.