Three Cheers for Conflict

There are many things in our world that we should not do without. Medicine is one. Umbrellas are another. Running water. Gloves. Stand-up comedy. Music. Hardwood floors. Diapers. The list is virtually endless. But no matter how long I or any one else's list might be, one item that should be included is conflict. That's right. I know what you are thinking: conflict? Without question, at times it can be a royal bother and really get in the way of plans we might have, thoughts we put forth and our desire to get our way during conversations or when making plans. Nevertheless, not only should conflict be on the list, it should be near the top.


That same conflict that gets in our way or even scuttles a path we may have set for ourselves, actually does all of us far more good than not. Just the other day my wife and I were trying to reach a particular destination. We came to a fork in the road and I was convinced we needed to turn left. My wife, however, felt a right turn was the correct direction to go. As we were running late, I did not want to hear her objection. Consequently, we turned left only to find out within a short period that I was wrong. The lesson here is I should not have ignored the conflict as represented by my wife's opposing view.  In fact, I should have been open to it.


There is a tendency, I believe, many of us have at times to automatically disregard conflict - big or small - that appears before us. This is unfortunate because often it is an opposing force that can and does often cause us to look more closely at our own perspectives or plans. Being open to conflict, regardless of whether one is on the receiving end of it or its cause, is a communication challenge. It revolves around a willingness to communicate with others in an open and respectful manner. Conflict, by itself, is neither good nor bad. Rather, if addressed properly, it is an opportunity for folks to achieve consensus and, at times, reach the truth in a thoughtful and cooperative way.