Admitting Mistakes

One of the first fables many of us hear growing up is the one where a young George Washington confesses about cutting down the family cherry tree. ("Father, I cannot tell a lie. I cut down the cherry tree," our first Commander-in-Chief supposedly said.)  There is, of course, no evidence that this actually happen. Still, it makes for a great story, especially when one is trying to instill in the minds and hears of youngsters that honesty is, indeed, the best policy. Closer to the truth is, if such a conversation had occurred, Young George probably would have said something like: "Father, I cannot tell a lie. It was my little brother who cut down the tree." or "I don't know how that happen." or "I didn't do it."

No offense to President Washington, but the truth is none of us likes getting in trouble. Further, we do not like admitting that we have erred or messed up in some way. Our own internal drive to be well regarded and accepted by others as well as to feel good about ourselves make it difficult to, in a sense, fess up about something. The result is, at the least, we struggle with admitting mistakes, we come up with a litany of excuses to justify our missteps or we simply deny having said or done anything wrong even if evidence points to the contrary. This does not make us bad. Rather, it makes us what we are: flawed.   

In the world of communication, for persons to gain success and respect, it is imperative that one overcome what I view is our natural inclination to admit error. We see such a phenomenon played out on a regular basis as public figures and their spokespersons struggle with or try to wiggle out of admitting either getting their facts wrong or saying something they should not have. As one human to another, I feel their pain. But as one communicator to another, I have little sympathy for them. Being credible is the essence of being an effective communicator. Behaving in any way that cuts into that vital ingredient is unacceptable.