Dueling Feelings

It is a big day for the wife. Her birthday. She wakes that morning with excitement and the hope that those around her will make it a special day for her. Her husband wakes with plans to cater to his beloved and give her as many smiles as he can on this special day. A house guest, the wife's mother, is in town specifically to help make her daughter's birthday one to remember. It is one of those rare days when multiple people under the same roof enter into a new day with hopes very much in-sync. They are united in their desire for a most happy day. What, as the old saying goes, could go wrong?

The wife awakes with the expectation that her wonderfulness will be the main focus of those around her. The husband wakes only to learn that there is a work-related emergency that he must address. The visiting mother is tired from her trip and decides not to wake with the other but instead sleep late. The result is suddenly there is a division in the feelings of the three people. The wife is disappointed. The husband is frustrated. And the visiting mother is focusing on her own needs. The morning hours tick by and the wife begins feeling angry as she is feeling ignored and not very special. The husband is increasingly annoyed at having to contend with problems on a day-off that were not his doing And the visiting mother, finally awake, is feeling good about her decision to sleep-in.

The feelings of each individual grow to the point that the three are no longer in unison. Where once there was harmony there is now division. This scenario is not all that uncommon. Often times people begin days or projects or enterprises with similar goals, expectation and even feelings. But then life's unexpected twists and turns happen and suddenly people are knocked off balance. Their focus is no longer on the same thing. What is the best way to handle such an ordinary situation? The answer is found in one word: communicate. In times of disruption or ground-shifting, the best way for folks to cope and successfully contend with the unexpected is to be vigilant about what they are thinking, feeling and focusing upon. None of this is easy during times of stress, but it is vital if that stress is going to be kept to a minimum.