Doing Better

As we all know, there are many ways to communicate: speaking words, body language, facial expression, billboards, movies, etc. In fact, one of the great things about communication is that we all do it and, generally, at times, do it well. I use the qualifier "at times" because the truth is none of us do it as well as we might think or do it as well as often as we want to believe. How I wish that were not the case, but nonetheless, that's how it is. I state that as a truism because if it were not the case, then there simply would not be nearly the intensity of  disagreements in the world as we see.

Case in-point: the Confederate Flag. Largely in southern parts of the United States, there are those who believe the Confederate Flag should be displayed in town squares and in state capitals. After all, they argue, this is part of our history and should not be glossed over. Others disagree. They contend because of what the Confederate Flag represents, its proper place is in museums rather on view as a act of celebration or honor. You might argue that these perspectives represent two sides of an honest disagreement. Good point. Would such a difference exist if folks were better communicators? Of course. The point of communicating effectively is not to eliminate differences of opinion. Rather, it is to help all of us deal with those differences in a more civil and/or respectful manner.

To put in bluntly: competent communication does not erase or free the world of counter perspectives. Such a reality should not come as a surprise to any one. My sense, however, is it does. I believe all of us at times are genuinely surprised and even puzzled when another disagrees with us after we have, to our satisfaction, clearly articulated why we feel the way we do about a certain issue or matter. If only it were that easy. The odds are that other person is thinking the very same thing about us. When this happens, it means both parties need to "up" their communication game. Unfortunately, it is at this very point where communication often breaks down. People either get frustrated or blame the other party for not embracing what, to them, is the proper way to view something. All of us need to do a better job of doing better.