Empty Spaces

There is a special joy that comes with spending time with someone when the conversation is easy and flows smoothly and without any awkwardness. Even if the topics covered are serious or even difficult, if the exchange is, in a sense free-flowing, then it brings a deep sense of satisfaction to the parties involved. What contributes to that is both parties are actively engaged in both having a good idea what it is they want to say but also when it comes to listening. They are connecting to the point of working in tandem, building off each other to ensure their exchange is successful. It is effective communication.

As we know, however, not all exchanges go that well. People get together and their conversation goes in stops and starts. Even folks who know and like each other experience such a dynamic. Myself, for example, have experienced this family members that I have known forever as well as friends and colleagues I genuinely care about. No one, I believe, is immune from such a scenario. Given that, the questions revolve around why does this occur? what does one do about it? and can such a thing be avoided? After all, when it comes to conversation, none of all find empty spaces all that comfortable. They are, we believe, to be avoided.

Here is my take regarding such a communication bump-in-the-road: These moments occur because at times - perhaps more than we care to admit - do not always have anything to say. After an initial information exchange, we have exhausted what we have to share and want to know from the other. There is nothing wrong with that. The awkwardness revolves around both parties trying to force their interaction. My sense is short exchanges are fine. I would much rather be part of a brief but meaningful exchange then one that extends beyond either party's comfort level. It is a matter of all of accepting the notion that a brief encounter can be just as satisfying as an extended one. The key is in the substance of the encounter rather than the length.