Our Motivating Elements

Persons of science long ago determined that genetically-speaking all people everywhere are approximately 99 percent alike. Whether we reside in Lima, Peru, Busan, South Korea, or Butte, Montana, have blue eyes or brown, long hair or no hair, are tall or short, are thin or fat, shy or extraverted, or are able to ride a tricycle or not, all of us are a great deal more alike than not. We have more in-common within our interior frames than not to the point that from a genetic standpoint, it is almost as if we are all the same person. The difference among us, then, is found in what I would our exterior selves.

It is here where we separate ourselves from our neighbors, co-workers, second-cousins, fellow voters, fellow church-goers, etc. I use the term "separate ourselves" because by all outward appearances so many of us go out of our way everyday to establish our individuality. "I am my own person and I want everyone to know it," we seem to be saying via a multitude of behavior patterns, including how we dress, express ourselves, behave toward others, and, in-general, communicate. However, what strikes me as the ultimate in irony is that despite these superficial exterior extremities, at the end of the day we still come across as being more alike than not.

Despite ourselves, we remain as close-as-close-can-be being practically the same person. I conclude this because despite what may appear to be contradictory actions, everything we do is driven by basically the same set of motivating elements: gaining acceptance, trying to feel good about ourselves, trying to survive and/or be safe, and possessing the same fundamental needs, including sleep, food and water. How does all this relate to us as communicating beings? In a nutshell, it reinforces the notion that those communication strategies that most successfully work on and with pretty much all of us are the ones that speak to the motivating elements that we share.