"Word-in Edgewise"

Trying to be heard - never mind be understood or even agreed with - can be so exhausting. It makes me think about the old expression "word-in edgewise." This revolves around being involved in a conversation with another or perhaps several others. Not only is everyone actively engaged in the conversation, but they are talking over each other just to get their points across. Ironically, with everyone talking at once, the result is no one is really being heard. You are aware of all this, of course, and recognize that if you are going to make an impact with the others, then you are either going to have add your voice to the mix or raise your voice to a higher volume.  At that point, maybe - just maybe - you will finally be heard.

So, in you go. Your voice is now part of the bubbling-over noise. What happens next? When does this scene end? How does it end? Does anyone really remember what has been said? Do people walk away and honestly believe, "Hey, that was good."? I tend to doubt it. When I was younger I rarely hesitated to jump into that pile of verbal chaos. At some point, I thought, the strength of my comments will cause others to stop talking and focus entirely on what I am saying. (I am now trying to think if that ever actually happened. Off-hand, I think not.) Nowadays when conversing with others and everyone begins talking at-once, my tendency is to stop talking. Doing that is less exhausting. Plus, I reason, if anyone really cares what I think, then they will ask.

We all want to be heard, but for that to happen the audience needs to be in a listening mood. They have to be "up" for hearing what others say. On the various news talk shows that we see on cable and the various network channels, it is a rare day when the guests come prepared to listen. They are there to talk, be heard, talk some more, and finally, talk even more. Their unwillingness or, at best, reluctance, to listen sabotages any chance of genuine communication. The guests are not there to listen. Rather, their focus is getting a word-in edgewise. How nice for them. How unfortunate for the audience and the topic under discussion.