Anger

Perhaps the most basic of human emotions is anger. Though often unpleasant and, at times, over the top, it is an emotion we all experience. In fact, a  number of anger-related studies suggest that many of us carry around some level of anger on a regular basis. My guess many would initially deny that but upon closer reflection admit that it truer than we might care to admit. For me, as I write this, I feel a bit of anger toward a number of things, including the current frigid temperatures, bogus emails, and myself for not taking care of a as many items on my to-do list as quickly as I want. Before that, I felt anger toward a fellow passenger on a flight I took recently in Australia. And so it goes.

Given this emotion that is both fundamental and one that probably most of us would rather not being carry around inside, the question becomes from a communication perspective, what is the best to contend with it? How can we effectively deal with anger in ways that do little or no harm to either ourselves or those around us? The first step is to acknowledge our anger. Everyone feels it from time to time, so it is not something we should pretend does not exist. Own it. Our anger belongs to us and should not be dropped into the lap of another. In other words, regardless of what might be triggering it, our anger represents what we are feeling. Consequently, it needs to be embraced as our issue with which to deal.

Yes, while the person next to us may be acting like a jerk or external forces such as the weather may be upsetting, the responsibility of what we are feeling belongs to us. Following that, I see little problem with being open about it. Let the person you are with know that you are angry regardless of whether it has to do with them or something else. Once you have, in a sense, gone on record of owning this particular feeling, then you are accountable for being the one to deal with or process it. Accountability as it relates to communication is what gives what you say or do greater credibility. Such openness helps shape responsible behavior.