Thinking the Best of the Other

Thanksgiving 2019 is now in the history books. Some of my friends and family attended big shindigs while others spent the day in a  more low-key way. For my wife and I, the day was very much in the latter category. Just the two of us. Nevertheless, it was a special day for us as we made a point of giving each other appreciations for us as life-partners and for so many aspects of our lives as well. (One of those aspects for me did not include the extra pounds I have put on lately. But you can bet I will appreciate them the moment I get rid of them.) Still, for us, Thanksgiving 2019 was a good day and I hope it was that way for everyone else, too.

One big element of our lives to which my wife and I gave thanks was how much we have improved as communicators as it applies to each other. After over 26 years of marriage, we have gotten much better at communicating in ways that keep misunderstandings to a minimum. But the best part of that, according to us, is we have improved significantly in dealing with the misunderstandings when they do occur. I remember all too well all the eye-rolling and hand-wringing and raised voices whenever miscues or disagreements did occur. Believe me, none of those times were ever fun. They still aren't, of course, but the good news is they do not occur all that much any more. How come?

From my perspective, I believe my wife and I have learned to appreciate each other more and keep that realization at the forefront of our minds much better than we used to. The result is when we do bump heads, we are more quick to remind ourselves that the other is really a "good egg" and that we love them. This takes the air out of whatever negativity is bouncing back and forth between us during those "unfun" times. While thinking the best of each other may not be revolutionary when it comes to getting along, it an element of communicating that is working for us. It certainly helped make this year's Thanksgiving all the better.