The One-Two Punch of Communication

All of us have talked with someone with whom we disagree. We may even have had experiences where the person is so adamant about a particular issue or in explaining their point of view that they are loud and do not give us an opportunity to express our opinion. We may even had had occasion to be in a situation where the other person resorts to name-calling and other verbally abusive behavior. Hopefully, for all our sake, those times are rare. And if they do occur, the best thing to do is disengage yourself from that encounter as quickly as possible. But short of that, how can communication help us deal with those situations?

The answer is in one word: listen. In boxing, it is standard to lead with a jab and then look for the right moment to follow with a right or left cross. Rarely, if ever, do you see a boxer do otherwise. It's called the "one-two" punch. In a conversation, the equivalent is listen and then speak. We should lead with our ear rather than our mouth. This is true in a heated conversation or one that is more calm. Listening is a great strategy for disarming the other person, showing respect, and helping us collect information on what it is the other person thinks, feels and knows. With this knowledge, it helps us formulate our own thoughts.

It is human nature to want to be heard. But with that comes a desire to be heard.
We want those around us actually hear what it is we have to say. When that happens we feel empowered and are filled with a sense of self-satisfaction. It also helps make us feel more receptive to hearing out the person with whom we are speaking. Thus, by utilizing good listening skills, we are laying the ground work for a healthy exchange that could lead to something really wild and crazy like consensus or agreement or mutual understanding. Whether it is conflict between two people at home or two nations, the first step toward resolution begins with listening. Always.