Communicating What We Want

I want what I want and I want it now! How many times have we heard someone around us say that or something very similar to it? How many times have we ourselves thought that? In my case, at least, more often than I care to admit. Nevertheless, it is a sentiment many of us share from time to time as well as a challenge because the fact is there are things we all want; and at times those desires come when we are not feeling particularly patient. Here are a couple of other ingredients to add to this mix: those periodic feelings are never going to go away and striving to get what we want is something we will never be able to do alone. Whether it is a special item on sale at the store, a fun vacation or even time for ourselves, decisions we make to satisfy or fulfill our own needs requires communicating that information to others.

The challenge is in how we go about communicating our wants, assuming we want the appropriate people to support us or, at the very least, accept what we have to say. One way, of course, is by pounding our fist on the table and then storming out of the room. However, rarely does any situation call for this kind of behavior. Besides, while doing this may look good in a movie, the fact is it turns people off and does not build meaningful bridges with any one. Another strategy I do not recommend is what I call the "I fly at dawn" scenario where you break the news to those around you at the last moment. Occasionally, this may be necessary but as a general rule it is good to keep these times to a minimum.

If we do a good job of communicating openly and respectfully with those around us, then when times arise when we need to communicate new information, then doing so becomes more of an extension of conversations that are already underway. There is less stress, less drama and greater chances of buy-in. One of the benefits of good communication is that it fosters support and inclusivity. Healthy dialog generates healthy exchanges and sharing. It also tends to bring people into your world and make them more open to being part of being positive partners and support.