Engagement

I do not know anyone who does not have at least a few pet peeves. I know I do. One, for instance, is drivers who tail gate. At times I even ponder the wisdom of slamming on my car brakes just so the driver behind me will be jolted into realizing how careless they are being and magically decide to never tailgate again. Of course, there's a larger part of me that realizes that if I really were to do that, then there is a good chance the result would be the back of my car would be smashed up and I would have to deal with painful neck injuries. So, I don't. Still, I wish people would not tailgate.

One pet peeve I have having to with communication pertains to people who listen to music through ear phones. I love music and applaud everyone else who does, too, even if they prefer music I do not particularly like. But one vital ingredient to being a good communicator is engagement. If you are going to connect with another person or even another public, then you must be engaged in what it is they are saying and what kind of nonverbal signals they may be giving out. A lack of engagement makes its virtually impossible to better understand or appreciate the interests, concerns, etc. of those around you.

Do not misunderstand. I greatly appreciate "me time." We all need our private moments. We all need our own space. Even Superman had his Fortress of Solitude. But to be better communicators, personally and professionally, it is essential that we be as aware of our surroundings, including other people, as much as we possibly can. This includes not just having a good sense of what we can see that is around us but also what there is to hear. A lack of engagement does not result in even half-way decent communication. Instead, it expands distance between us and others and us and the world. It makes meaningful bridge building all the harder.