Nothing In Common

Over the years I have had friends talk about past relationships in which they have been involved or considered only to report nothing came of them because they and the other person did not have anything in common. I always nod when told this, but the truth is it is hogwash. All of us have things in common no matter our where we live, our socio-economic background or current station in life. We all like to laugh, be productive, be safe, and stay healthy. What could be more fundamentally in-common than that?

Do not get me wrong. I understand some people like vanilla while others prefer chocolate. Some people say "tomato" while others say "tomata." And so it goes. But aren't vanilla and chocolate both ice cream flavors? There's the common connection! My point is there is really no such thing as not having things in-common with others. The problem is found in the different perspectives people bring to those commonalities. For instance, two people may want to be together and create a happy home environment, but they may disagree over they want children. One may feel children would add to that happiness while the other may disagree. The commonality is the shared desire for a happy home life. The difference is found in their perceptions on what would make that happen.

The point is commonality is all around us even though, at times, different perspectives may be enough to scuttle any kind of lasting connection. Nevertheless, it is my contention that all of us have a lot more in-common than not. If two people or two publics are able to identify their many commonalities, then it can often make those differences seem less imposing and insurmountable. (I'm talking to you leaders in the Middle East!) Well thought out, patient, sustained communication efforts can help do that. Cynics may call this naive, but I prefer thinking of it as the best kind of building block.