The Tenuousness of Communication

It seemed like a simple enough question. Do you have any objections if I bring along someone to our meeting? Could there be anything more straight forward than that? The answer, too, seemed right to the point. "Yes." I understood that response to be the person did, in fact, object to a guest being brought to the meeting. But as it turned out, that is not what the respondent meant. To his mind, he felt he was saying it was all right to bring a guest. This exchange, while not the most exciting in the world, illustrates just how complex and even tenuous communication can be at times. A simple situation. A simple exchange. Friendly. No stress. And yet two people miscommunicated. How could this have happened? Is there anything that can be done to prevent it from happening again?

So many of the exchanges we have with others are similar to this one. Missteps occur because those involved have their own perspectives in how they interpret what is said to them. For those who talk to and with others, the lesson here is that we need to include in our message sending a way to make sure the message receiver is hearing what was said in the way we intend him or her to. For those on the receiving end of a message - and this includes all of us as well - we need to make sure that we are hearing what the other person intends us to hear. I recognize this adds several layers to the communication exchange, but at the same time it reduces the odds of there being a misunderstanding.

Perhaps those extra layers do not seem all that necessary in such a simple and insignificant situation. But suppose the situation had not been so insignificant? Suppose we had been talking about the welfare of a loved one? The picking up of vital medicine? The transaction of large amounts of money? Suddenly, the miscommunication is a big deal and much harm has been done. Situations may vary in terms of their level of importance, but communication under any circumstance is vital. All of us who send messages and receive them have a responsibility to give communication the attention it deserves.