Dealing With Disconnects

There's an old joke involving a foot soldier who is marching with his troop. He keeps tripping and is out of sync with the rest of the soldiers who are marching in proper unison. Finally, the drill instructor asks him what is going on. He answers, "Everyone here is out of step." Obviously, this points to the distinct possibility that it is actually this particular solider who is out of step and that everyone else is just fine. This leads me to a provocative quote from the late Russian dissident Alexander Solzhenitsyn that I came across recently: "If you desired to change the world, where would you start? With yourself or others?" I find this comment to be so intriguing because it strikes at the heart of how we as individuals view ourselves and those around us. When a disconnection occurs, do we assume it is the other person's fault or do we begin with ourselves, if not as the possible culprit, then as part of the reason for the breakdown?

In communication there are tons of reasons why mixed signals occur. Poor timing. Poorly worded messages. Apathy on the part of the public. Erroneous information. Whatever the problem or problems might be, a big step toward step toward addressing lies in one's willingness to take responsibility and ability to look at themselves with a critical and dispassionate eye. It is important for communicators to have the skills to do this. When miscommunication happens, it is
not uncommon for those involved to look to the communicator for an explanation and, ultimately, a solution. After all, when our car breaks down we naturally turn to the nearest auto mechanic for help as opposed to the local barber.

Granted, being able to properly assess any given situation is not always easy, particularly when there are multiple participants, an array of strategies under way, big budgets and various publics involved. But if one is going to make a living trying to help others communicate, trying to create public relations campaigns , trying to craft messages that resonate, and trying to build bridges between various groups of people, then a major part of the responsibility that comes with those challenges is embracing your role as the "go-to" person when something goes wrong or not as well as was expected. In terms of the best way to meet this responsibility, my advice is to begin by remembering Solzhenitsyn's comment. Much rides on your answer to his question.