A Communication Lesson from MLK

Earlier this week our nation once again celebrated the memory, vision and ideals of Martin Luther King. To me and many others he was a giant, not only in his ability to communicate but in what he communicated: tolerance, peace, harmony and unity. When I think of King I think of the old axiom: "words matter." Though King was struck down over 40 years ago, his words continue to resonate. They endure because of their lasting power and because they speak to the ideals that many long for and some actually strive to make happen. I applaud the wishes of those many and do my best to join forces with the others who devote their lives to making the sentiments of King actually happen.

Upon reflecting upon King and his message, however, I sometimes wonder if I really could connect with all others, would I want to? In a perfect world, there would be nothing better than having a strong bond positive with others that we know and with whom we interact. But at least in my real world, there are people who are not very nice or trustworthy or particularly likeable. What about them? Do I really want to bond with them? Frankly, no. People I find unlikeable are unlikeable because attributes they possess that I find offensive and negative outweigh ones I view to be more positive. Why would I want to bond with people like that? Why would any of us? Granted not everyone is all-bad. And, granted, opinions I have of the people with whom I interact are totally subjective and probably say as much about me as they do about them. Also, I fully understand my assessment of others are my own.

Nevertheless, there are those in my world that I do not like. Given this reality, what is the best way to effectively communicate with them in lasting ways that generate the kind of harmony that King preached? I believe the key is found in striving to step outside one's own perspective and look at situations through the eyes of others - even people you may not like. Doing that is not always easy, nor is it particularly enjoyable. But it does lead to greater understanding and even a begrudging sense of appreciation at times. It also almost always reveals points of shared interest. Once that is identified, then those commonalities become the "hook" around which effective communication can be built. To me, this is an important lesson that King continues to teach.