Our High-Maintenance Selves

Something all relationships have in common is that they require attention if they are to last or, at least, maintain some hint of a pulse. When the word "relationship" is mentioned, our impulse may be to think of the kind between husband and wife or a person and their so-called significant other. But even if we are not married or do not have a person with whom we have steady connection, all of us are involved in relationships. For instance, there's our relationship with our boss, our co-workers, family members, the check-out person at the local grocery store, etc. Make no mistake, relationships are as much of a constant in our lives as anything. The importance we place on them, of course, dictates our behavior in how we treat each one and steps we take to keep them strong and healthy.

There is one relationship of ours that requires more maintenance and attention than any other. In fact, it is the one that never goes away and that cries out for greater active involvement on our part with each passing year of our lives. I am talking about the relationship we have with ourselves. Think of all the things we do for ourselves every day: bath, brush our teeth, gather and eat food, wash our hair, etc. It never stops. Plus, as we age, our many emotional and medical needs increase. Those who believe they level off or decrease are only kidding themselves. While with age may come wisdom, tagging along right next it is neediness.

Our high-maintenance selves represent a communication challenge of the first-order. We may roll at our eyes at how much attention and work connections with others might require, but none of them compare with what we demand of ourselves. For us to maintain a healthy connection with ourselves, we need to take all the steps that others require: being open and honest, utilizing strategies that keep lines of communication open, and giving us proper and respectful attention. It may sound silly to be talking about a relationship with ourselves this way, but that does not make it any less important. Communication is all about relationships. None is more demanding and, therefore, more important than the one we have with ourselves.