Effort Does Matter

There are few things more frustrating than when you do something well and yet still do not get the results you seek or even feel you deserve. "My plan was perfect," you think. Or, "I said all the right things, yet they still did not change their mind." Here is another good one: "I don't get it. This worked yesterday." To those who have had this type of experience, particularly in matters of communication, I say "welcome." This club is anything but exclusive. In fact, one would be hard-pressed to think of someone - any one - who is not a member. The truth is this is not only a scenario a part of life, it is also very much a characteristic of communication.

Because life is not perfect and things do not always go the way we want them to, I have always believed it is better and mentally healthier to try and gain as much satisfaction from the effort as I do from the result of my effort. Such an attitude may seem like a cop-out or like an acceptance that coming close is as good as trying. After all, isn't that why kids are given second-place trophies or "best effort" trophies? (I once received a "most improved" trophy.)  And those who subscribe to the Vince Lombardi philosophy of competition that "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" definitely do not agree with this. But I view it as the more realistic of the philosophies.

When it comes to communication, flawless execution does not guarantee victory (however one might define that). However, the good news is that in the world of communication, one does not always have to hit the bulls-eye in order to advance a cause or product. Coming close does count. Making a solid and honest good-effort actually does reap positive benefits. Communication is about tapping into and changing attitudes rather than putting points on the scoreboard. This is very much in-keeping with what makes relationships click. Thus, to function well in communication means performing in an environment that tends to see things in terms of either-or. Communication is much more subtle and nuanced than that.