How Shall I Communicate?

The question itself is straight forward enough. It goes beyond subject matter. In many ways, that's the easy part. Coming up with a topic on which to sound off is not that much of a stretch, particularly when you do not have to weigh yourself down with facts. Exchanging opinions with another is good enough to constitute a conversation. Both parties say how they feel about an issue or subject and then move onto with the rest of their day. It is akin to dancing without actually making contact with one's partner. Technically, the two are dancing but their investment in the action or the other seems minimal.


How, then, should one communicate? With minimum intellectual or emotional investment or in a manner that calls for meaningful engagement? If the decision is to move beyond the superficial, then what does that entail? For starters, it calls for committing one's self to talking with and not at the other. It calls for taking responsibility for the success of the overall exchange rather one's own part in it. It means helping create an environment in which the person with whom you are speaking feels  respected and valued. It means being respectful. And it means knowing that for an exchange to be effective, then speaking and active listening are necessary ingredients.    


Is this mindset easy to maintain? No. Does helping create such meaningful exchanges with others require effort? Yes. Effective communication is a challenge, one not to be underestimated or taken for granted. Further, it is a challenge that is ongoing - virtually relentless. If this makes effective communication sound difficult, then it is for good reason. It is. There are, of course, many reasons not to have to work so hard at it: lack of time and energy are two. But there are also a multitude of reasons why one should: the benefits that come from respectful collaboration and the reality that each of us has need for others as we strive to fulfill our own dreams and achieve our goals.