I Don't Know

There is a line from an old song that says "Life is a stage and we are all unrehearsed." The older I get the more that resonates with me. The fact is the moment we are born, all of us are "on" but without the luxury of that comes with being in a play where we can practice our lines, throw out what does not work, and keep rehearsing until we are spot-on perfect. Each day we wake represents opening night where everything we say and do counts in big ways and small. There is no "do over." Instead, our options range from trial and error and making amends to building on what we have learned and simply doing the best we can.  


This is why each day represents a singular challenge that demands our best. Sadly, of course, our best is not always good enough. Situations arise and questions drop on our heads that leave us perplexed and anxious. Many years ago, for instance, when my daughter was a very little girl, she asked me if dolphins laugh. Had we rehearsed that, then I would have been able to respond with a wise and informative answer that encouraged her intellectual curiosity and reinforced her feeling safe to ask me anything she wanted. Instead, my response was an honest yet inadequate, "I don't know."  Often I think back on that moment and wish we could have done at least one more "take."


My sense is all of us have had moments like that sometime in our lives. Probably many of them. It is one of those commonalities that is universal. At the same time, it is one we do not acknowledge all that readily. In fact, we tend to pretend we rarely fall short in all that we say and do. That is unfortunate. As a result of honest and open communication, we as parents, leaders, citizens, neighbors, children, etc. would be so much better off if we were upfront and comfortable with our "I don't knows" than we are. So, on those days when asked a challenging question or faced with a daunting dilemma, we would be more at-ease in responding with a "Let's work on it together."