Nunchi

Non-verbal communication never ceases to fascinate. On the one hand, you have people assessing signals from others through actions and facial expressions rather than words. (The Koreans term this measuring with the eye or "nunchi." On the other, there are those who try to disguise their true feelings by either acting in ways opposite to what they are feeling or putting on what is commonly called a "poker face." It is almost like a dance or some kind of pantomime. The fact is all of us give off signals all the time. Just as frequently, people interpret our expressions and behavior. We can't help communicate any more than we can't help see those actions as acts of communication.

And so it goes. Key questions are are how accurate are our non-verbal acts of communication and how accurate is our assessment of those non-verbal actions? Koreans might ask: how good are our measurements with the eye? No doubt there are times when all of us try to hide true feelings. While talking with a boss, for instance, we may act in a way that is engaged all the while thinking how much we did not want to be with that person. A young boy may have a huge crush on a girl but act as if he does not care about her so he can come across as being "cool" and above matters of the heart. So it goes, indeed.

I do not have precise any answers to those earlier questions. But I do know eventually we do reveal our true feelings non-verbally. Often times this happens when we feel it "safe" to let down our guard. Other times, we do it without realizing it. From an assessment perspective, if one is going to claim a certain level of proficiency at reading non-verbal signals, then it is important they recognize such an "art" is usually not one hundred percent accurate. One reason for this is because people often do not reveal true feelings until they determine what they are. We "hold back" because we ourselves are trying to figure out what we truly think or feel. It is a matter of wanting to communicate but only when we are ready and wanting to interpret a signal before that signal has been fully formed.