Being Likeable

Who among us does not want to be liked? Sure, we want to be respected and even loved. But in addition, no matter who a person is or their station life, I would be mighty surprised if someone said that they - deep down - did not want to be liked by others as well. Given that, then, what does a person have to do to be liked?  Is there a special to-do list of how one should be have or conduct themselves if they are going to have others feel warm and fuzzy toward them? As it turns out, the answer is "yes." Recently, I came across an article on the web (author unknown) that listed actions that "extremely likeable" people do on a regular basis.

The observations ranged from smiling a lot, practicing good hygiene and making good eye contact with others to taking responsibility, focusing on being happy and getting off their cell phone while interacting with others. While those particular points are interesting, others hit home even more with me because they spoke directly to how well one communicates with others. These included paying attention to others or listening, remembering names, asking questions, not interrupting, not turning every comment from others into a form of competition, being respectful, and accepting that not everyone is going to agree with your perspective.  

Being an effective communicator involves recognizing that any interaction with another is not just about oneself. It very much involves engagement, talking with rather than at another or others. Unfortunately, too many times there are those whose focus rests entirely on making their points at the expense of not providing others with opportunities to be heard, ask questions or add to the dialog. The result, at least according to this article on the web, is that in doing this, one runs the risk of reducing how well they are liked. Maybe that might seem like a big deal, but just between you and me, I think it is.