House Guests

There is an old one-liner that goes like this: "A friend in need is a pest."  It is funny, in part, because it is true. Yes, we love our friends and, yes, we do not mind helping them in any way in can. At the same time, favors they request from time to time can be a bother especially when life is so much easier when things - or people - are not pulling at us. The pressure from friends takes on a different level of complexity when they visit and stay at our house. Recently, we had this experience as a good friend of ours stayed at our house for several days. This was her first visit to our house as she resides in South Korea and has been to the United States before only a few times. 

Having a house guest is not like meeting a friend for, say, lunch. In that scenario, there is a mutual understanding that you will be together for a prescribed amount of time and that the responsibility of being engaging resides equally on both parties. But when someone stays at your house, the burden is largely on the host to fulfill the role of "entertainer-in-chief," initiator of activities, conversation-driver, etc. Make no mistake, those responsibilities are no small things. You have the home-court advantage and, consequently, are very much in the driver's seat when it comes to the entire dynamic between you and your guest.

It is times like this when communication can and should play a key role in helping ease whatever pressure that exists. This includes eliciting a ton of information from the guest. For instance, what kind of food do they like to eat? Are there local sites they wish to see? are they early risers? do they like going to bed late? and - the big one - how long are they staying? These and others are, of  course, fundamental questions. However, finding answers to them is not always easy because, as the host, the last thing you want the guest to feel is that you are eager for their visit to end. The trick is to be straight-forward in asking them but try doing so with a smile. After all, we are glad to hosting them. Aren't we?