The Challenge of Narcissism

Aren't all of us a bit narcissistic? Don't, on some level, we feel everything is really about us? After all, we view life and all that it puts in front of is each day through our own lens. We filter life's challenges through our own perspectives and, ultimately, interact with others to try and make them better understand us, including what we are feeling and why. Given all that, it is a wonder how any meaningful and lasting relationships are formed if each person - all of us - are thinking "me, me, me" all the time. More to the point, what kind of hurdle does this create for the successful implementation of effective communication?

When one is narcissistic, it suggests they view themselves with a level of importance that goes beyond or above others. Further, it suggests an attitude that how one processes all that is said and happens on some level is about them. Putting this along side "effective communication," one can easily see a conflict just waiting to happen. Effective communicating occurs when one is able to relate with another by empathizing with that other person's perspective, including their feelings and histories. But how capable is one with narcissistic tendencies able to do this, particularly since narcissism or self-absorption are counter to empathetic behavior?

Assuming we all want to be effective communicators, then it is vital that we recognize that narcissism is part of our make-up. It is part of our internal "furniture" that must be dealt with if we are to genuinely connect with another. Another example of this would be anger. That, too, is part of who we are. It, too, is something we strive to not let get in the way of our interactions with others. Being empathetic takes practice. While it, too, is part of our basic make-up, it is a trait that needs to be enhanced or strengthened if we are to be truly effective communicators. The greater our empathetic abilities, the greater our abilities to frame messages to which others can relate.